April – Terry Family Shenanigans

Baseball Game

Ryan and I went and watched a few of Matthew’s old baseball team mates playing in a college game. It was fun to see a baseball game again with a few players and parents we knew. I took a picture to send to Matt after the game.

Track

Emilee tried track this year!! I was hoping she would and I thought she would be good at it, and I thought she would like it. All of those things turned out to be true. She tried the high jump. She did pretty good but if she wants to keep doing it we need to get her a coach to really help her get the technique down. She did good when Liz gave her a crash course. When she didn’t have someone that new what they were doing that could tell her where her form was breaking down it was a little tricky. She did fine with it and we will see if she wants to do it again next year.

She started out in the 400 meter dash, and then her coach added her to the 200 meter dash and the 4 x 400 meter relay, then the last two meets he added her to the 4 x 100 meter relay. She placed in the top three for almost every race she was in and ended up qualifying to go to the three league meets. She placed in the the top 5 for all of the league events she did. They broke the school record for the 4 x 400 relay at their last meet of the year. She is a fast little stinker. We are trying to convince her to do a running club for a while over the summer or fall to help improve her running technique and make her even faster. It was a lot of fun to watch her race and enjoy doing something she is good at. I recorded a few of her races, I need to be better at that. I like to watch them and cheer and it is hard to do that if I record her.

Her 400 meter time was about 1:08 by the end of the season. Her 200 meter time was just over 29 seconds. The best 400 x4 relay time was 4:31.

Cat Video

So having a cat is going ok. They are pretty clean and she is great at using her litter box. She sheds so much. That is the hardest part. She can jump where ever she wants too. Both of those things mean I now spend A LOT of time vacuuming and cleaning than I had to before. I am constantly lint rolling my self, the couches, and even the cat. She is sweet and loves to cuddle. Most of the time that is great but sometimes I want 100% me, no other living being in the same room with me time. So I get to go hide in my room instead of the living room. I am her person. If all of us sit on the couch she will come to my lap. She is trying to sit on my hands while I am typing right now and keeps looking at me like I am interrupting her trying to nap on my lap. We think she is losing her hearing a little but other than that she is pretty healthy. I never thought I would have a cat video to share but I have a cat now so that means I will post stupid cat videos.

Softball

Emilee started another season of softball. Most of her tournaments are still coming but she had one in April. They all improved a lot over the winter. I think they won more games in their first tournament then they did all last season. The last day of the tournament was rained out so there wasn’t a winner, but we were on our way. They had fun and it looks like it will be a fun season for them.

Matthew’s Senior Prom

Matthew’s senior year really picked up the pace once April got here. There was lots of senior activities, ceremonies, and special events. There were several things almost every week which made the last few months fly by.

Prom was the first big event. He participated in a fundraiser for the after prom party the week of prom called Buff Puff. There was about 10 volleyball teams of boys that competed against each other and the girls were their coaches. His team was called the Black Aces and they actually ended up taking second.

Prom was on a Saturday. Early afternoon they went downtown to the Nelson Atkins Museum of Art and took pictures. The weather was rainy all week but it was beautiful on Saturday and they got great pictures. Campbell has been planning on a yellow dress for her senior prom for years. Matthew decided on a gray tux to match her.

Here are their group photos.

After pictures they went to dinner at an Italian place called Buca di Beppo. Then it was off to the dance. This was the first year they had Prom at a different location than the school. Usually they rent a tent and have it somewhere around the school. This year it was at the Embassy Hotel in their ballroom.

They announced the prom King and Queen at the dance, and Matthew was prom King!! He told me by sending this picture to me. No words or explanation, just the picture. I loved that he thought to tell me instead of waiting until he got home.

After the dance Campbell and Matthew went to the after prom party with most of their group. A bus took everyone to a rented out space that had all kinds of activities for them to do and tons of food. There was a prize wheel that each of the Seniors got to spin and win different prizes that were at least worth $100. Matthew and Campbell each won a 41″ TV! He had a pretty exciting night! The party ended at 2. By the time the bus got them back to the school and Matthew dropped Campbell off and came home to go to bed it was about 3:30. He slept every spare second he could for the next two days.

He thought the TV he won fit perfectly in his window sill in his room.

And last but not least, I have this great picture of Matt and Campbell’s first dance together in high school- Freshman Homecoming, and their last dance together-Senior Prom.💕 They have grown up a bit!

Easter Family Picture

Easter was really nice this year. After church we had dinner with Ross and Lauren’s family and Roger and Rhonda. We usually take a family picture at the church before we leave, we forgot this year so we did it when we got home. Someone didn’t want to but did it anyway.

Wrestling Banquet

Allison had her wrestling banquet a few months after the season was over. They had a dessert bar and beverages with an awards ceremony. They asked all the wrestlers to dress nice. Usually we only see them in their singlets and head gear, so a few of them I almost didn’t recognize. Allison got the JV Wrestler of the year award!

Eclipse

In April of this year there was a total lunar eclipse crossing the united states. It was similar to the one that was about 7 years ago that we went up to Lincoln Nebraska to see. Sherrie and Dave Torgerson’s house in Dardenelle Arkansas was in the direct path and they were going to have totality for almost 5 full minutes. We decided to take a very quick mini-cation and drive down Sunday afternoon to see it with them on Monday and then come home Monday afternoon. There were lots of family there which meant lots of cousins to play with. The weather was great so the kids got out water balloons and played a lot of games outside.

Allison and one of her besties Allie Sluga went on a little trip together. Allie invited her to go to the Ozarks with her and her grandparents took them for a few days. They had lots of girl time and did lots of shopping together.

I thought this was a good spot to put this picture showing Allison’t makeup talents. She is the Lorax, keeper of the trees.

Allison got one of her best scores on the beam at her last gymnastic meet this year. She got a 9.5!!

Matthew had his Junior Prom this year. He went with Campbell. They both looked great! It was a little crazy helping him get measured for a tux and getting the flowers and plans ready. Time really does fly when your kids grow up. They went in a group with his friends Ramey and Nick. They took pictures at a winery before they went to dinner at an Italian restaurant. Then they stopped by our house for a few minutes before they went to the dance. When the dance was over they came home and changed then went to the after party. It was at Chicken and Pickle. It was a great place for the afterparty. Unlimited chicken fingers and pickleball to play. Matthew won a few rounds and got some of the prizes for pickle ball.

This is a side by side of their first dance together- Freshman year Homecoming dance, and Junior Prom.

Last But Of Course Not Least

April wouldn’t be April if it wasn’t Easter…unless Easter was in March that year. We had a nice Easter weekend and home in Olathe. We went to church and then had dinner with Grandma and Grandpa Terry and Ross and Lauren and their family. We opened Easter baskets at our house but the kids wanted to do an Easter Egg Hunt together so the parents hid the eggs for them outside. It was a beautiful Sabbath day to celebrate the resurrection of out Savior.

Even the boys wanted in on the Easter Egg Hunt

Moving Right Along to April

We thought this year might creep by slowly while we wait for our house to be built. Sometimes it does seem like it is taking forever but overall it does seem to be flying by. Once Spring Break was over and it is the 8 week stretch until school is out for the Summer it really seems to fly.

It was a cold Spring but there were a few nights in April we were able to light up the fire pit and make some smore’s in the back yard. Mmmmm we all love a good smore.

Emilee was selected as the Student of the Month which they now call Leader of the Month. Luckily they awarded it on a Friday so I was able to watch her get it. They do a little intro about the person before they say who it is. They said a lot of nice things about her- she helps others, gets her work done, is kind, loves to read, is a good listener. As soon as they said this person loves horses and knows all kinds of facts about horses everyone knew the teacher was talking about Emilee.

I was a good girl and did my workout before her award ceremony even though that meant I had to show up stinky and gross. Good thing you can’t smell pictures.

Our church had a Prom Night. Matthew’s high school only lets upper classmen go to the prom. Or you can be invited to the prom by an upper classmen. Matthew didn’t go to the school prom. When the church said they were having a stake prom I asked him no less than 12 times if he and his friends were going to get a group together and go to the dance several months, and weeks in advance. You don’t have to dress formal but a lot of people do. He told me each of those 12 times that he was not planning on doing that. The day of the prom he texted me from school to tell me that he and a group of kids were going to go to prom and he was taking Campbell.🤦‍♀️ At least he had given her a few more days notice than he did me so she was able to find a dress and Matthew just wore his church clothes, no tux. They both had baseball/softball practice until 6:30 so they missed dinner and ended up just going to the dance. After the dance they had an after party were they are supposed to dress up as something together. They changed back into their baseball/softball uniforms and went together like that. I got no group pictures. They had a fun night. That is is the difference between a boy and girl. Boys are zero planning time, you have to drag details out of them and beg other moms for pictures. Girls want 12 outfit options, tell you all the tea and have pictures of every second of the night. Is it not adorable that they both were the number 14?!

Allison was busy doing track everyday after school in March and April. She decided to do the pole vault, discus and shot put. She did a lot of running and got in good shape. The coaches didn’t do much coaching for her events so it was more of a figure it out on your own thing. We were proud of her for trying something new and putting all the effort she put into her practices and meets. I tried to go running with her a few times. I am a tread mill runner IF I run- I like the AC on a fan in my face and stopping exactly where I started as soon as I am done. She kicked my but when we would run together. She loved the social part of it and overall had a good time. She ended the season not sure if she wanted to do it again. If she does she wants to drop shot put and discus and do the high jump instead. If she decides to do it again we will have to see about finding her a private coach to teach her the pole vault and high jump.

Emilee is trying her hand at softball again this Spring. So far it is going 100% better just for the fact that she has glasses now and can see the ball. She joined her bestie Reese’s team and it is a good fit for her. She has improved a lot in catching, throwing and hitting. We all try and help her practice batting and playing catch at home. Hopefully she sticks with it for a few more years.

Matthew made the JV baseball team. They had a really good season. A little more than half way through the season he was moved to practicing with the varsity team and going to all their games. He still played JV games but then he would go to all the varsity games and warm up with them and pinch run for them a few times. The Varsity team went to State he got to go with them and had a great experience. They lost their first game and were out but still had fun. He is hoping to get to go again his Junior and/or Senior year when he is a full time varsity player. He has grown a bit and has a little more strength behind his swing and throw so he is really enjoying himself when he plays now. It is fun to watch him.

These are the three JV players that moved up to varsity.

This was the Regional Game they won to go to State

Country Dancin’

Ryan and I went on double date with a co-worker of mine and her husband. I thought for a while that the four of us would get along. We did and we had a great time and have hung out many times since then.

The first time we hung out was also Dani’s birthday. We went country line dancing. Dani and I happen to listen to the same radio station on our way to work in the mornings and one of the radio hosts from the station was there that night so we met him while we were having a fun night dancing.

I don’t know his real name. He goes by ‘Tator’.

Easter

We had a nice Easter this year. Easter is always nice. It is a peaceful quiet weekend. The weather was pretty cold this year, even though Easter was in mid April. We had our traditional ham and cheesy potato meal. Roger and Rhonda came over and Steve and his kids to eat with us and spend the afternoon visiting.

April Fools

We all survived Allison’s favorite day of the year without to much damage. She pulled a few pranks on everyone but Matthew seemed to be the focus of most of her pranks.

She did the usual tape over the faucets, saran wrap across doorways, and creepy pictures strategically placed around the house to startle you when you least expect it.

Matthew said he woke up to Allison sneaking around his room at 4 in the morning. He didn’t care enough to worry to much about it then. When he turned his fan on and confetti flew everywhere he thought that was it. When he got to school he turned on his laptop and found this waiting for him.

She is a funny girl. I know I am forgetting a few of her pranks too. A few days later, I was cleaning out the fridge and found one that she attempted but then forgot about. I was grateful that she at least put the stapler in a bag first before submerging it in Jello.

Grandma’s Funeral

I was able to go out to Utah for my Grandma’s funeral. It was a really nice weekend. My parents and Sherri were able to come as well and we all stayed with DeAnna. Friday evening there was a viewing. Except for my brother I think all of my extended family was there. My cousins Erin, Lisa, and Melissa made photo boards and displays of her life. Grandma looked very nice. A lot of my dad’s cousins and aunt and uncles were there too. After the viewing a lot of us practiced a song, Come Unto Me, written by Grandma to sing the next day at her funeral. My Grandpa sat on a chair by Grandma and talked with people as they came to see her. When he got there he put his hand on her chest and looked at her for a while then said, “Well Dear, you are cold and dead.” I think he was just being matter of fact, not funny or morbid.

Great Aunt Elain, mom and Lynette (Elain’s daughter)

The next morning we had the family prayer before the funeral. All seven of her children spoke at the service. They did a great job. The whole family sang her song, Families are Fun to Belong To. Some of us sang her song, Come Unto Me, and the closing song was a recording of her playing Danny Boy on her trumpet. She was an amazing woman. So kind, talented, and loving. My aunt Mary said that heaven had one of its best trumpeters back and she was probably already playing with the angels. I think she is too.

It was pretty chilly so the graveside service at the cemetery was brief. After my dad dedicated the grave, Grandpa was ready to go. There was a very nice lunch at the church. Her daughters sang another song of hers, To Mother. After the luncheon some people went home, a lot of us went to Grandpa’s house and visited and hung out together. He was exhausted and it had been a busy few weeks for him since Grandma had passed away so eventually he took a little nap. We had popcorn with raisins in it as a snack- one of his favorites. It was a very nice weekend. I enjoyed seeing family that I haven’t seen for a few years. Grandma will be greatly missed. She lived a great life and left an amazing legacy. There is an empty spot now that she isn’t with us physically anymore.

Found A Gem

Every now and then when I am walking around the house I come across my kids being kids in such a cute way it makes me smile. Sometimes I am lucky and get a picture of it.

Allison will organize something or make a list or possible outfits to wear in the morning. Emilee watching her stuffed animals getting washed in the washer with concern they are not enjoying it. Matthew talking to Peanut and telling him he is the cutest. I love little moments like that.

We have a white board on the wall in our basement. I see it often when I am on the treadmill. It has had writing on it for a while but I didn’t take the time to read what it said until recently and it made me smile.

A few weeks ago when our cousins were over at our house, Jovee and Emilee decided to make an outline of their plan to shoot Ethan and Matthew with the Nerf Guns. As you can see they put a lot of thought into it.

There are symbols for Ethan and Matthew instead of their names.

There is a list of needed supplies…or ‘geer’.

A detailed plan of action.

And of course, a plan to regroup after the plan is completed and plan the next plan.

I LOVE IT!!

The Chair

We have had some work done on our basement lately so I have been going through things and cleaning out closets and storage areas. I have never been attached to stuff. I have things that would make me feel sad to lose but for the most part if I don’t have a spot or a space for it I am all for getting rid of it or giving it to someone that can use it. My sentimental side is put into photos and journals.

So as I was cleaning things out and discarding things, one of the items that was left sitting in the middle of the floor was my blue rocking chair. This chair was purchased a few weeks before we had Matthew. I wanted a chair in his room to sit in when he nursed or at night for story time. At the time we bought this chair I really liked the look of the popular rocking chairs that had a matching rocking ottoman. We had looked at and tried several of that style, they were cute but when I sat in them I was less than impressed. They were not comfortable, they didn’t recline, and they were ridiculously expensive too. So other then looking cute in the nursery pictures at stores it seemed useless to me.

One of the weekends before Matthew was born Ryan and I were looking at couches at a store for our house in Wichita and noticed they had a room full of consigned furniture for sale. I walked through it and found this little blue reclining rocking chair. It was a smaller one so when I sat in it the arms were close and easy to reach and would work perfect to rest my arm on when holding a baby. It was cushioned everywhere so it was nice and comfy. It rocked, or could be reclined with a foot rest in many different angles. I pictures a nice little grandma or grandpa that had it in their home for a few decades. It was in really good condition and clean. I thought it was perfect! We bought it and brought it home and put it in Matthew’s room.

It worked perfectly for me over the years. I rocked and snuggled all my babies in it. It didn’t creek or make noise when you rocked in it. I read thousands of books, took hundreds of naps, and spent many nights comfortably sleeping in it with a sick baby or toddler sleeping on my chest. I thought about recovering it sometimes but never got around to it. It stayed in the youngest kids room up until we moved to our new house in 2015. In our new house we didn’t really have a spot for it but I put it in all of our kids rooms for awhile until they wanted to fill the space with something else. I even had it in my room for a bit. Then it ended up in the basement and Matthew spent countless hours in it when he broke his leg.

When we had the last of our built in work put in the basement I was all out of spots to put it. I moved it to the garage and it stayed there for a while. I asked around a bit with neighbors and friends and church to see if anyone wanted it. No takers. I loaded several other items and things in my van and donated them but kept leaving the chair in the garage. Finally I loaded the chair up in the van and drove it to the salvation army. Then I parked in the parking lot and debated with myself for way longer than I will admit if I should donate it or not. Then I called Ryan and ran my thoughts through him. I have no need for this chair…I seem to have some attachment to it…I feel hesitant to donate it…I am acting crazy about a chair…I want to donate it but I don’t want it to become a college kids pot smoking chair…I thought I knew what his answer would be but he surprised me. He told me that a few months ago he would have told me that I was being irrational and to donate the chair (that is the answer I was expecting) but after the last few months with discovering his biological family and dealing with buckets of unknown buried, new and overwhelming emotions he is a changed man now and understands that the chair is important to me and he will support me in keeping the chair or donating it. Whatever I wanted to do. Sweet answer, but not helpful.

I got off the phone with Ryan and talked out loud to myself in my car for a few minutes and decided I would donate the chair. I would hope someone that needed it would have it and my sweet chair would be useful to someone else, hopefully a new mom or grandparent…not a college student.

I drove up to the donation area, the man helping me said they only took furniture in really good condition. I told him the chair was in great condition, not a rip or stain on it. Someone would be very happy to have it, I rocked all my babies in it and I wouldn’t give it to him if he was going to throw it away or give it to a pot head. He put a hand on my shoulder and said he would find it a good home. Then I left and cried all the way home about a chair.

I know it wasn’t about the chair. The chair just reminded me of the memories I had with all my babies that aren’t babies anymore. It was one of the last if not the last thing I had around the house from their baby years. That man probably called me the crazy lady and gave the chair to the first person that wanted it, but I hope it found a good home.

This isn’t a fitting picture for such a special chair-stuck out in the garage. It is in many pictures in our memory books over the years though.

Fascinating Little Buggers

This is the crabs in their new home. I think it is not to shabby. Jeffrey, Crab Cakes, and Georgia are pretty lucky crabs. We have the humidity and temperature where they like it and they seem to be pretty happy and active. They explore, swim, climb, sleep, eat, and dig in the sand. We think one of them is in the molting process because she has tunneled deep into the sand and we haven’t seen her for a few days. We watched another one switch shells. Crabs outside of their shell or pretty creepy looking. It is like alien creepy. We often find ourselves just watching the crabs crawl around. I would never have expected them to be so interesting. I would even say they are a little cute…when they have a shell on their back.

First Conversations

It was 1pm on Friday and Ryan had another meeting at 2pm. He decided that he couldn’t wait that long so he called Perry back. Perry answered the phone and Ryan said, “Hi, this is Ryan. This is kind of crazy.”

Perry said, “Hi Ryan, we know who you are and we have been praying for you, your whole life. My sister Sherrie is your birth mom. She would love to connect with you if you want.”

They talked for most of the next hour on Ryan’s way to his next meeting. Perry told him that he had gotten his Facebook Message and his email right away. He was pretty shocked but immediately contacted his wife. She is one of their family experts on family history so she started doing a little fact checking on Ryan to make sure he wasn’t a weirdo. She googled him, searched him on Linked In, and Facebook. They were able to find some pictures of him. They could see the family resemblance right away and Ryan’s birth date and place matched the information they knew about his sister giving up her baby. They showed a picture of Ryan to one of their sons and asked him who he looked like without any explanation. He looked at it for about two seconds and said, Austin. Austin was his cousin and Sherrie’s youngest son, which would make him Ryan’s half brother, if Sherrie was Ryan’s birth mom. She followed the family history Ryan and given them based on his DNA with their own family history and confirmed that they also thought they were related. His wife said she thought Ryan was a legit person and didn’t give off any big red crazy flags so with a cautious concern to Perry to remember we have a mother’s (Rhonda) feelings to protect and consider as they moved forward. They decided to proceed and contact Sherrie and let her know Ryan had contacted them and then contact Ryan back and tell him he had found his biological family.

Sherrie now lived in Arkansas about an hour away from Perry. She has a son at BYU, and a married daughter and son that lived in Utah with their families. She had gone out to see them for a little bit and was supposed to fly home that Friday. The airlines had contacted her and told her that her flight had been canceled so she ended up staying an extra day or two in Utah. Instead of being on an airplane when Perry called, she was helping her daughter pick up one of her kids from school. When she answered Perry’s call he told her he’d had an amazing experience that he wanted to share with her. He told her he wanted her to sit down. Perry told her that a young man had reached out to him and said he was looking to find his biological family. He told her they had confirmed it the best they could and were pretty positive that it was the baby she had given up for adoption in 1979.

Sherrie was beyond shocked. Of all the possible things that ran through her mind when Perry said he needed to tell her something, this had not been one of them. She was immediately overwhelmed. Perry told her all the information he had and asked her if she wanted him to contact Ryan back and if she wanted to talk to him. Sherrie said she definitely wanted to talk with him but needed a bit to process and get her emotions under control and tell her kids. Perry told her he would be in touch and hung up to call Ryan.

Here are some of the things Perry and Ryan talked about on their first phone call together.

Perry told Ryan he was really glad that he had reached out to him first so he could contact Sherrie first. Later on everyone in the family told Ryan he picked the perfect person to contact first in the family. That was a confirmation to Ryan that he had definitely been lead by The Spirit to contact Perry first instead of Bill Bertelson.

Perry told Ryan that his sister had gotten pregnant and he found out while he was on his mission so she had already had the baby and given him up for adoption and moved out to Utah before he came home from his mission. He said they didn’t talk about it a lot over the years but there were a few occasions they did. It wasn’t a secret but it was very painful for Sherrie to discuss and think about. They always hoped he was ok and happy and with a good family and prayed for him.

Sherrie was now married and had 5 more children after Ryan. David was married and lived with his wife and six children in Herriman Utah. Their next oldest Genevieve was married and lived with her husband and son in Arkansas about an hour from Sherrie. Their third child was a daughter that lived in Herriman Utah as well, and her and her husband had two boys. They had another son named Eric that got cancer when he was around 10 years old and passed away. Their youngest son was named Austin and he was finishing up his last semester at BYU.

Perry asked Ryan if he wanted him to have Sherrie contact him. Ryan was feeling pretty overwhelmed. At this point it had barely been twelve hours since Kenny had contacted him telling him he found his biological family. Now he had it confirmed and knew not only his biological mom which was mind blowing in itself but also aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, grandparents, and four living half siblings. He told Perry that he did want to talk with her and when she was ready he would like to talk on the phone. Perry gave him Sherrie’s phone number and passed Ryan’s on to her.

After Ryan’s call ended with Perry he took a few minutes to group call Sherri, Kenny and I and fill us in on as much of the conversation as he could in about 5 minutes before heading into his next meeting even though his mind was on nothing but the conversation he had just had with his new found Uncle. After his last meeting of the day he was finally able to come home and sit down and try to digest everything he had discovered in the last few hours.

The rest of Sherrie’s day after her phone call from Perry.

Sherrie had a lot of difficult emotions she had wrapped up in a tight little box over the years around discovering she was pregnant and going through the process of giving Ryan up for adoption. Some of the bigger players being guilt and regret. When her two oldest children David and Genevieve were growing up there were a few times they asked about their older brother. Sherrie didn’t know if someone else had told them, or she said something about it she didn’t remember but to her knowledge she had never told them about their older brother. Each time they asked she tried to change the subject or disregard the question. When Genevieve was about 13 years old she came to her mom and told her that she had always felt like she had an older brother besides David and she needed to know why. Sherri decided to tell her at that time she did have a son before David that she had given up for adoption. She didn’t know anything else about him and most likely they would never meet him in this life. Later on when David was in the MTC for his mission, he sent his mom a letter describing the same thoughts Genevieve had years earlier and wanted to know not if, but who his older brother was. Sherri wrote him back and told him her story. Ending with the same thing she told Genevieve, she didn’t think it was possible they would ever know who he was or meet him in this life.

Sherrie never told her Giselle or Austin about Ryan. When Sherrie got off the phone with Perry, her daughter saw her face and was concerned. She could tell something big had happened. She started asking her mom questions and trying to figure out what happened. Sherrie told her she needed all three of her kids that were in Utah to get together because she had something to tell them, but she only wanted to say it once.

It took a few hours for Austin to come to Giselle’s house. Sherri stuck to her guns and wouldn’t say anything until he got there. She called David and told him she would be coming over to his house after she talked to them and he was done at work to tell him something important. When Austin got to Giselle’s they sat down and Sherri told them about giving Ryan up for adoption and that he had reached out to Perry and wanted to talk with her. They learned they had a half brother. Obviously they were shocked. They spent some time talking about it and then went over to David’s and told him the brother he thought he would never meet had reached out to Sherrie.

Later that evening Sherrie texted Ryan for the first time. She said she was very nervous and would probably be weird and awkward but when he was ready she would like to call him. Ryan texted her back and said he was going to be weird and awkward too but her was ready to talk when she was. Sherrie called him back almost immediately. I listened long enough for them to get through their hellos and hear Sherrie’s sweet Arkansas accent then left the room. They talked for about an hour and started to get to know each other. They talked about their day and the emotions they had experienced and started to share the stories of their lives. At the end of their conversation they decided they would try a zoom call the next evening. The next night they saw each other through their computers and talked for several more hours.

Gulf Shores Alabama 2021

The kids had spring break in March like usual this year but we decided to postpone a bit and went to Gulf Shores in Alabama in April instead. We originally invited Grandma and Grandpa Terry to go with us and Ross and Lauren and their family. Grandma and Grandpa decided they didn’t want to go in case Grandma wasn’t feeling good. She had her second chemo treatment the day before we left. So it was the Terry cousins and us. We left a Friday after school and drove the first 4 1/2 hours then stayed the night at a hotel. Driving wasn’t bad at all. The kids and adults swapped around between the two cars so we seemed to have more peaceful traveling. When we headed out the next morning we had about 10 hours left to drive. We stopped at Mammoth Springs and walked around the lake and saw the waterfall. Uncle Ross stood on one side of the bridge and dropped a leaf and then hurried to the other side to watch it fall down the waterfall. The kids thought is was great fun and spent the next 15 minutes tossing sticks and leaves and watching them go over the falls. They would all yell in excitement every time. It was hilarious. They would have done it a lot longer but we dragged them away to get back on the road. We saw a muskrat or beaver (there was a debate we settled by letting everyone call it what they wanted since there was no clear view of its tail). We also saw lots of pretty birds, including two that were right on the trail and were not interested in moving out of the way at all.

After that, we stopped to eat and pee until we arrived at Gulf Shores. We grabbed some groceries. Shopping with six kids is always a treat. We had enough sugary cold cereals to last the week plus the next month. When we got to our condo it was about 8 pm so it was already dark, we moved in and got settled and enjoyed the view of the ocean from the patio. It was a nice little spot for us. Each couple had a room, the boys shared a room and the girls shared a room. The weather looked like it would be a little dicey but Sunday-Wednesday afternoon was pretty gorgeous weather. Our condo opened right to the beach. If the weather was sunny that’s where the kids wanted to be. Gulf Shores has a little bigger waves then Florida beaches we have gone too. We brought boogie boards and that was one of the favorite pass times at the beach. We spent all the sunny days building sand castles, playing catch, body surfing, shell and crab hunting, swimming, sunbathing, flying kites, reading, napping, playing bocce ball, all the fun beach things you can think of. If the sun got to be to much the kids would walk into the pool at the hotel and swim in fresh water for a bit then come back to the beach. Lauren and Leah and I decided to walk to the pier that was ‘just down the beach’ one of the days. It was a much longer walk then we thought. Uncle Ross ran it the next day with his watch to tell how far it was and it was a 2 1/4 miles to the pier. We did a 4 1/2 mile walk in the sand that we thought was maybe a mile. We were all a little sore and chaffed the next day.

I think it was Tuesday we took a break from the sun and went to explore one of the Forts nearby. Ross and Ryan went golfing after that and Lauren and I took the kids on a Ferry to Dauphin Island. We ate lunch and went to the aquarium on the Island then road the Ferry back home.

In the evenings we played games and watched movies. Sometimes the kids went down to the beach after dark to see if they could find crabs. Wednesday was back to the beach but the nice weather only lasted until about noon. Then it started to rain. We ended up going mini golfing and stopping by an ice cream shop. Thursday was a rainy day. We went to the souvenir shop and hung out at the condo. My kids ended up pooling their money and getting hermit crabs for their souvenirs. Matthew agreed to supply most of the funding on the condition he got to keep them in his room but the girls could take care of them. We added Jeffrey, Georgia, and Crab Cakes to our family. Once we got home we did a little research on how to take care of them. We turned our old aquarium into a new house for them with sand and a pool and a little forest and hut for them. They seem to love it. At least more then the plastic cage with a few rocks in it they were living in when we got them. We also discovered in our research that crabs can live up to thirty years in the wild. We told the kids that they could plan on taking them with them when they got married.

Friday was time to head back home. We swapped around a lot on the way home. The weather was rainy most of the time and we drove it in one stretch. It was a little before one in the morning when we got home. Ryan and I decided we are to old to drive at night anymore. Neither one of us can see very well and we like to sleep instead of stay awake. We were chugging soda, eating snacks and pinching each other to stay awake. The last hour and a half was pretty painful. We really debated stopping and getting a hotel an hour away from home. We made it though. It was nice to have the rest of the weekend before jumping back into school and work.

It was an awesome vacation. The kids were all feeling a little cabin fever and liked getting out of the house and going somewhere. I am glad we got to make some memories and have a good week together.

Reaching Out

When Kenny found the link to the Turnbull’s he woke up his wife and showed her the obituary and contacted Ryan. As the three of them were talking Sherri noticed another name in the same obituary that she recognized, Bill Bertelson. She remembered knowing someone by that name from a family that she knew when she lived in South Dakota with my parents. She remembers thinking it wasn’t a very common name but it was probably a coincidence.

Once they had Vanitta’s name they started trying to find more information about her. They assumed she was likely Ryan’s mom but they didn’t know for sure. One of the ways they looked her up was on Facebook. Since they weren’t friends with her, only her public pictures were available to see. They looked through several available pictures and tried to glean any information they could. As they were looking through the pictures, Sherri saw a picture of Vanitta with her brother Bill Bertelson. She pointed it out to Ryan and they were both shocked. Ryan and her both recognized the Bill in the picture with Vanitta. It was the same Bill they had met together nineteen years earlier.

Christmas 2002. Ryan and Janae were married in May 2002. At the time her parents and other three siblings lived in Rock Springs, Wyoming. Later that year her dad was transferred with his job and the family planned to move to Sioux Falls, South Dakota. With the timing of the move they arrived in South Dakota the week of Christmas. They couldn’t move into the house until shortly after the New Year so they planned to stay in a hotel until then. Ryan and Janae decided to come up and join them and they had a hotel Christmas in Sioux Falls South Dakota their first Christmas together with Janae’s family. A day or so before Christmas was Sunday and the family attended the new church they would be going to and met some new friends. One of the families that introduced themselves to Janae’s parents was the Bertelson family. Bill and his wife Barbara. When they heard they were staying in a hotel over Christmas they invited us to join their family for a Christmas breakfast. They were a very kind and thoughtful family. My parents got to know them well and became good friends. Whenever Ryan and Janae went up to visit her family they would always come and say hi at church and ask how they were doing.

Along with discovering Vanitta and her brother Bill, the three of them were able to figure out that Vanitta was about 85 years old which would have made her in her mid forties when Ryan was born. They also pieced together that she had several children that would be older than Ryan and one that would be younger. At this point their best guess was Ryan was most likely conceived from an affair or maybe rape then given up for adoption. After talking and speculating and living on a wave of excitment from finding a strong lead, the three of them decided to call it a night and pick up the search in the morning. A few short hours later Janae woke up at 7am on Friday morning not knowing any of the exciting news from the night before. When Ryan filled her in on everything they had discovered she told him he would never live down not waking her up when he found out. Then they called Kenny and Sherri and picked up were they left off the night before and started making a plan to figure out who to contact. Through Facebook stalking they were able to figure out a few more of Vanitta’s family members. Kenny, Sherri and Janae were pushing for Ryan to call or email Bill. They thought that would be the easiest link. He probably wouldn’t remember Ryan but he would know Janae’s parents. Ryan didn’t want to contact Vanitta directly, but instead of Bill he kept coming back to a guy named Perry Turnbull that we thought was Vanitta’s son. Ryan said he felt like that was the right person to contact, he looked like a good guy and maybe even a Bishop in our church. Within 5 minutes Kenny has Perry’s email and phone number and found out he actually was a Branch President of a Young Single Adult Ward. Ryan decided that is who he would contact. At 9am he sent a Facebook Message and an email to Perry with the following message:

Perry, I don’t believe we’ve ever met, my name is Ryan Terry. This is probably going to sound strange so I’ll jump right into it. I was born in 1979 and was adopted via LDS family services, but I think we might be related! A few months ago I got a 23andme DNA test, mostly to check for health concerns as I have no family history, but also out of curiosity of my biological lineage. Literally the only piece of information I have about my biological parents is on adoptive court papers that had my surname of Turnbull before legally changing my name to Ryan Terry when I was a few months old. In 23andme I have only a few 2nd and 3rd cousins, and did not see any Turnbull surnames. Until last night. I was looking at the Keele family line, which DNA says I have relations to, and found through Ancestry.com and Family Search where the Turnbull name actually popped up – with Vanitta. Through some light Facebook investigation, it looks like that is your mother or you are related to her in some way.

Anyway, maybe this is super weird, but I think we may be closely related and I thought you could maybe help me connect some dots. I considered reaching out directly to Vanitta, but figured she may not be super Facebook savvy and not even know I sent a message. Or maybe it would be a shock to her if I directly contacted her. So since you seem to be active on Facebook and connected to her I wondered if you could help me. I sent you a message in Facebook Messenger too but I often forget to check those messages, so thought I’d send you an email.

Putting myself in your shoes, I can see this might be really weird and out of the blue. But now my curiosity is peeked! I would love to connect some dots and perhaps express gratitude to my biological mother for following what I believe to be a divine plan. I have always felt like I was meant to be with my adoptive parents and am happy for eternal families.

Sorry for the long, random, rambling message! Would love to chat with you if you get the message and would like to talk.

Ryan

Ryan had sent several emails to other possible relatives at this point but had never heard back from any of them. This time felt different but no one knew what to expect. At some point that morning while they were all looking at pictures and trying to piece connections together someone said that maybe Vanitta was not his mom but his grandma. That seemed to fit time lines a little better. They were able to find a picture of one of her daughters that they thought was a possibility but they just didn’t know and wouldn’t know unless Perry contacted Ryan back. All four of them tried to go about their day and impatiently waited to hear something back.

Ryan had several scheduled meetings that day at noon, two and four. He left shortly after sending the email and went to his first meeting at noon. At 12:15 his phone rang and caller ID said Perry Turnbull across the top of his phone. He new it probably wouldn’t be a short conversation and was already in his meeting with a client so he sent it to voicemail then tried but utterly failed to focus on the next 45 minutes of his meeting.

Perry left a message. At 1pm Ryan walked out to his car to listen to the voicemail.

Transcription of Perry’s Message:

Hi Ryan, my name is Perry Turnbull and you sent me an email and a Facebook message today regarding your heritage and thanks so much for that message that was very thoughtfully written and sincere and um I believe Ryan, there is a very high likely hood that there is a direct connection between you and my sister and I would just love to talk to you about that and to fill you in with as much as I know and connect the dots as much as I am able. SO feel free to give me a call back at … and I will also respond to your email as well with some personal contact information and look for ward to chatting with you. Hope you have a great day and thanks for reaching out, take care. Bye.

Ryan was obviously emotional when he heard Perry’s message. He had just found out who is biological mother was! He had one hour until his next meeting but he new he couldn’t wait until the end of the day to call him back so he decided to call on his drive to his next meeting. He hit send and called Perry Turnbull back.

The Results

Once the sample had been sent in there wasn’t much to do but wait. Other then the surname of Turnbull and being born in Monett Missouri we didn’t really know any other information.

Kenny tried to hold true to his finding Ryan’s birth mom in 30 minutes. He had one or two people he thought were good possibilities but without the DNA he wasn’t willing to say anything with much commitment. Several weeks later after much anticipation, Ryan finally got the results. His health information came back pretty good. The things they were able to test and look for came back with no big red flags. It was nice for Ryan to have some peace of mind about some general health information. Learning more about his biology made Ryan realize his curiosity was definitely piqued and he wanted to know more about the ancestry side of his DNA. However, when he looked at those results there wasn’t much to see.

Kenny’s words.

Sitting on the couch at Ryan’s house while the girls were out shopping we somehow got on the topic of DNA/his biological mother. Ryan mentioned that he had looked on classmates.com at yearbooks torying to find a picture of her in Monett. Considering myself an amateur sleuth of sorts I offered my help and said I could probably find her in 30 minutes. Little did I know the task ahead of me. After researching for 2 weeks I thought I had found her (based on what we thought we knew). We decided to wait for 23&me DNA results to confirm, deny or shed any light on the subject. I remember it like it was yesterday. We were out to dinner with friends at Longhorn steakhouse when Ryan texted me with a picture of his closest DNA relatives. I looked at the list in disbelief! His CLOSEST match was 2%! I will never never forget Ryan’s next text to me. He simply wrote ‘work your magic’.

The lack of information available almost made the task of finding his birth mom more intriguing . Kenny and Ryan spent a lot of their free time looking and trying to find links to possible relatives. Ryan sent a few emails to relatives 23&Me said he was related to but never heard anything back. They both continued to talk and look into things together but Kenny made it a personal mission to figure this mystery out.

Too be completely honest I felt like I’d need some real magic to get anywhere. My next move was distinct, I looked at the list of relatives and prayed. I prayed that I would be able to know how to connect the dots. After the prayer I turned to google. I decided that if I could find one of these individuals family history pedigree charts I would have a better chance of finding either of Ryan’s biological parents. The first name was just initials so I moved to the second one immediately. The name was Reba Keele and it said she was from Utah. Turns our she is a professor of sorts and an author. One of the first pages I found on her actually listed her family info including parents names. With this info in hand I turned to family search. Knowing that only deceased ancestors appear on family search I put her parents names in. I got an immediate hit! Turns our the Keele family are LDS pioneers and have kept great records!! 23&Me had said that Ryan was a second cousin to the first 2 matches. I had an immediate sense of relief thinking I would close this case in a day!!!!!!! My excitement soon faded as I saw the number of relatives in this line. It seemed like every marriage had 10 kids! I hunted through this info everyday! Some nights I found myself unable to sleep or waking up with a new idea on where to look at 3am. I had searched all the second cousins!!!! No matches that fit.

Kenny spent weeks and hours of his time doing research for Ryan. The four of us would often talk together and there were several theory’s starting to form in our minds as we continued to run into dead ends. The biggest frustration was that we could not find the link in any of his known relatives to the Turnbull line. Kenny had looked through hundreds maybe even thousands of names and the Turnbull name never appeared. Was it a misdirection or a flat out lie? Maybe it was a single child of a single child and the line died out? Maybe Monett was not the right place…where would we even start to look if it wasn’t though? We were almost out of possibilities. Kenny suggested that Ryan get his DNA tested through ancestry.com because they had a bigger database to search. Ryan requested the kit and Kenny kept looking.

This continued for weeks. I decided to once again pray for direction as it seemed like I had lost traction. Shortly after the prayer I stumbled on an article discussing family DNA and how the DNA match percentages add up. It mentioned that at 2% someone might be a much more distant relative to these people then 23&Me indicated. I returned to family search with a renewed determination and decided to read all of the obituaries of the most recently deceased ancestors of Ryan to see if I could find any matching info (we had a last name and an approximate location). I started reading obituaries about 7:30pm. At 1:30am I was exhausted, I had read so many obituaries they were all blending together. I was reaching the end and had no new info. Just as I was about to call it a night I read one last obituary for Winifred Olsen. In the text it listed all of her children. The name hit me like a ton of bricks. Vanitta Turnbull of Arkansas! The location was close enough and the last name was a match!!! I couldn’t believe what I was reading! Had I really just found them??! My eyes began to swell with tears as I knew in my heart I had found Ryan’s biological family! The fact that is was 1:30 am was so irrelevant given the exciting news I decided I had to call Ryan. I texted him first and to my shock he responded back immediately letting me know he was still winding down from a basketball game he played earlier or he would have been asleep. I texted him the following in all caps “I FOUND YOUR MOM!” He immediately called me in disbelief but the more we talked it became more and more real. This was her! I hadn’t been able to sleep for 2 months! I found my head constantly running through new scenarios of where to look but now it was done! As I slept that night I found myself in a very emotional state. I could only imagine what Ryan was going through but even being involved on just the search side had given me a little glimpse of it. The next day brought MANY phone calls between Ryan and my myself. Who do you call to reach out too? Which family member? The events that have transpired from all of this are nothing short of wonderful!

Ryan and Janae have talked several times since then about how without Kenny’s help and sleuthing skills and the dozens and dozens of hours he spent researching we may never have found the link we needed to lead us to his biological family. As they have shared this story with others many have commented on what an amazing true friend and brother Kenny is to dedicate so much of his time and energy to helping Ryan. He is the hero in this story. Ryan and Janae couldn’t agree more.

Easter

We had a wonderful Easter and General Conference weekend. We tried to keep the weekend clear from any extra curricular activities, and it worked! It seems like October General Conference is always harder to do that, but sometimes we don’t get our wish in April either. I am glad it was successful this year.

Conference was really good. The kids didn’t listen with rapture or anything but they stayed within hearing range without any complaining. With any luck hopefully a few things soaked into their heads.

Our cousins and Grandpa came over after the first session on Sunday. Grandma was going to try but she was having a rough day so she didn’t come. Ryan couldn’t decide what to smoke- ham with traditional cheesy potatoes, rolls, and salad. Or pulled pork tacos with fresh slaw and strawberries. So he did both. We had a lot of yummy food, and my favorite, we have a lot of yummy leftovers so I don’t have to cook the next day or two.

We watched the last conference session after we ate then Ross and Ryan went over to see their mom and played a game at her house while the rest of us hung out at our house. The weather was a beautiful 75 degrees. The kids wanted to get out the slip-n-slide. I was a mean mom and nixed their idea though.

The Easter Bunny was slacking this year and fell asleep early before getting the job done. Luckily Emilee came in to our room and woke us up first so I could go get the Easter Bunny on the job without her noticing.

It was a great Easter weekend. I enjoyed remembering and celebrating Easter. I am grateful for my Savior, His sacrifice, and His resurrection.

Stay Calm

My son is coming up with new ways to stress me out the past few months. He has had an unofficial girlfriend (whatever that means) for a while but it is still new for me. I’d rather him not have a girlfriend at all until he is 25 but since it isn’t all my decision, I will make the best out of it. She is a sweet girl and they are really good friends. I picked up his phone and saw this as his screen saver the other day and had a combination ‘What the #@%$!’ and ‘Oh that’s sweet.’ moment. Be cool mom. Be cool.

Its Baseball Time!

Once again Ryan and Matthew feel like life makes sense and is complete again. Baseball started. Matthew was able to finish he physical therapy for his leg/ankle about two weeks before the first game. He was very glad he made it in time to play, he is still a little behind because he didn’t get to practice as hard or as much as everyone else but he is working at getting back to 100%. There is two teams that work out and practice together. For the opening season tournaments both teams ended up in the final game. Matt’s ended up coming in first officially but both teams had a great opening weekend.

Matthew and Jake walking off in the sunset. 🙂

This is another tournament they played in a few weeks later. They ended up winning the tournament for their division. Matthew has had a bit of dry spell for hitting. This tournament he got two doubles and he was pretty happy about it. We all were.

The Decision

The following is the beginning of several posts that I want to write to help remember an important part of Ryan’s life. Ryan was adopted at birth. He always new he was adopted, it was never a secret, just a fact. He also knew that he was meant to be with his adopted parents. Roger and Rhonda were always supposed to raise him, for some reason Heavenly Father chose to get Ryan to them in a more round about way, but Ryan always felt and always knew they were supposed to be his parents. He was sealed to them shortly after his first birthday in the temple and Roger and Rhonda, his siblings, and all his aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins are sealed together for eternity. He has always felt loved and cared for and known he was where he was supposed to be. He has also felt a piece of him missing or not complete, a small wondering that sometimes grew. He had similar features as his dad and brother but he didn’t know his biological history and ties. He couldn’t say he inherited traits or personality from his mom or a grandpa, or had the same features as a cousin or sibling. A few months ago Ryan decided to make the decision to dig in and see where his DNA led him. This is his story to the best of my recollection. I wasn’t there for all of it so some are stories other have shared with me. I want it to be as accurate as I can so as I learn more things or talk with others I will add and change things if I need too. It is an amazing story and it is full of many small and large miracles and tender mercies that have guided and directed Ryan and his family (adopted and biological) throughout their lives. With new events of the past few months some of these miracles can now start to be discovered and realized. Ryan’s story is a testimony to me that Heavenly Father is actively involved in each of our lives. He knows and loves us as individuals and has a plan.

On June 19, 1979 a little boy with fiery red hair was born in Monett Missouri. His birth mom loved him fiercely but her life wasn’t on the path that she wanted it to be to guarantee him a happy, stable, gospel centered home. Despite the inability to guarantee any outcome with any choice she made, with confirmation from the Holy Ghost, she made the hard, heartbreaking decision to give the little boy up for adoption. After being born, she signed the final paperwork and Baby Boy Turnbull was turned over for adoption. For the rest of her life she would not know what happened to her child. His location, hair color, likes, dislikes, strengths, talents, struggles, favorite foods, even his name, would all be a mystery and an ache in her heart.

That same day Rhonda Terry was at work going about her day. She and her husband, Roger, had been trying to have children for several years. Several months earlier after tests, doctor visits, and many prayers they decided to begin the process to adopt a baby through LDS Adoption Services. Once the numerous and long steps were complete, they were told to wait, they would be contacted when they had a baby for them to adopt. That particular day in June while she was sitting at her desk she had the thought come to her mind, “Your son is here.” She immediately called the social worker assigned to her and said, “My son was born today. When can I come get him?” This initially caused a bit of chaos. At that time the adoption process was closed, which meant everything was private and personal information was kept secret from all involved parties, except the social worker. The social worker was more then a little concerned that someone had leaked information to Rhonda and voiced that he could lose his job over this. Rhonda was, and still is, a very religious person and told the social worker that the Holy Ghost, not another social worker had told her about the birth of her son. He was very relieved and told her that in fact a baby boy had been born and the paper work was in process for him to be given to her and Roger. There was a slight hold up with paperwork due to the fact the baby would be crossing state lines from Missouri to Kansas.

The paperwork snag took six weeks to resolve. In the mean time Baby Boy Turnbull was taken from his birth mom and given to a sweet lady in a foster home to watch him until Roger and Rhonda could take him permanently. When the day finally arrived Roger and Rhonda anxiously met the social worker to bring home their baby for the first time. They were loving, happy, excited parents. Rhonda immediately began making up for lost time and embraced him as her son and began healing the loss of losing his first two earthly connections his birth mom and the foster parent of six weeks. For a time Ryan was not content with anyone holding him but Rhonda. After finishing the full adoption process and jumping through all the legal hoops and check lists, Baby Boy Turnbull was legally adopted and given his name of Ryan Evert Terry. His wife still remembers reading his adoption papers for the first time and getting chills at the very last sentence when is says his name is hereby changed from Baby Boy Turnbull to Ryan Evert Terry.

Ryan grew up in Manhattan Kansas. His parents adopted a baby girl a few years later. Then to their surprise ended up getting pregnant and having two more biological children. It was never a secret that he or his sister were adopted, it was something that he always new. He always felt like he was a part of his family and he loved and was loved by all his family members, immediate and extended. Around 5th grade her remembers when the teacher asked if anyone in the class was adopted. He raised his hand and then remembers being a little shocked to see that he was the only one. He didn’t realize it was something different about him from most other people.

Throughout his life people would ask him about being adopted. It just was what it was for him and he didn’t give it to much thought. As he got older people began asking him if he ever wondered about his birth mom. His inward thoughts varied from slight curiosity to a tinge of bitterness in not being wanted to gratitude for his family and the life he had and was grateful for. His out loud answer was usually along the lines of, “Mmmm not really.” At large family reunions he would occasionally notice and think that while he knew these people were his family, he wondered what it would be like to look like someone, and have a biological connection to someone.

He lived in Manhattan Kansas and made life long friend ships and memories there until he left for college in the Fall of 1997. His family, himself, and most of his extended family were all faithful devoted members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. About a year after bringing Ryan home he was sealed to his parents for time and all eternity in the temple on May 30, 1980 in the Idaho Falls, Idaho Temple. He was an active, happy boy. He loved to play with friends and ride bikes and explore the neighborhood. His dad was active in Boy Scouts and helped Ryan and his brother, Ross, get their Eagle Scout Award. As he got older he played basketball, baseball, and football. He also learned to play and was pretty decent at the trumpet for several years. He was a good student and decided he wanted to go to college to become an engineer.

Ryan was blessed to know his mind and self pretty early. His parents taught him right from wrong and he developed his own testimony of The Gospel and Heavenly Father and his Savior. He has a very logical mind and has always been a confident decision maker. After attending Ricks College for a year in Idaho, he went on a mission for his church to Bolivia in South America for two years. When he finished his mission, he went back to Ricks College in the Fall of 2000 to finish another year before transferring to Utah State to complete his engineering degree.

Ryan and Janae met in August 2000 and started dating in October of 2000. After several months of dating and getting to know each other they were spending another evening talking about anything and everything they could think of. At one point Janae asked Ryan to tell her something about him that she didn’t already know. He told her that he was adopted. She asked him the typical follow up questions people tend to ask when they find out someone is adopted. How old were you when you were adopted? (at birth) When did you find out? (I’ve known as long as I can remember) Have you ever wanted to find your birth mom? (Not really) After a few minutes we moved on to another topic.

Ryan did go to Utah State for a year (2001-2002) but when he and Janae got married in May 2002 they moved back to Kansas to finish both of their schooling.

Over the years after they were married, occasionally the topic came up between them, or with his parents, or by other people that new or found out and wanted to ask questions. Other than his mom telling the story of his adoption the questions were usually the same as the ones Janae asked when they talked about it the first time while they were dating. With the progression of his life from child to adult to husband, to father, some of his thoughts about his own birth started evolving in his mind too. He found himself thinking and occasionally voicing different thoughts about his adoption like;

“Sometimes I’m curious but I don’t want to look.”

“I wonder if I have siblings, or half siblings.”

“My kids are the only DNA relatives I know.”

“I’m curious about my health history.”

“I’ve started to wonder about her sometimes. I’m grateful for my life and glad I have it. She could have made a different choice then adoption.”

When COVID started in 2020 Ryan worked from home but it was a little slow. Everything was slow. Like most people all the projects that had been put off forever were finally done and then they had to start getting creative with things to keep them busy. Ryan new very little about his biological mom other then where he was born and the last name Turnbull. Which is a Scottish name. One of the shows that was binged watched during this time had a lot of Scottish ancestry in it and it kind of piqued their curiosity about Ryan’s ancestry. One afternoon the topic of looking into his health history came up. There was a flurry of investigating to figure out what is would take to look into finding out who his birth parents were. Janae even printed off a request for sealed documents for Ryan to fill out and send in to the State of Missouri if he wanted. Work began picking up again and it was left on his dresser in a pile of papers that got deeper and deeper.

Over Christmas that same year, Kenny and Sherri came to visit. It wasn’t the first time Kenny had asked Ryan about his adoption but the topic came up again. Kenny loves solving a good mystery and considers himself a good internet sleuth. When Ryan mentioned he was more and more curious about his healthy history Kenny was all over him to send in a DNA test. This particular conversation, Ryan’s curiosity got the best of him and he decided to do it. Kenny also told Ryan when he was ready to let him know and he bet him he could find his birth mom within 30 minutes. Ryan decided instead of hovering around the door and wondering he would finally open it and see where it lead him. He ordered the kit from 23 and Me. It arrived a few days later. He filled it out and submitted his sample.

About 42 years earlier…When Baby Boy Turnbull’s mom was about 6 months pregnant, she went and stayed with a foster family for the last few months of her pregnancy. She was only with them for three months but developed a strong friendship with the wife of that family and kept in contact with her for years afterwards. Eventually their contact lessened and then stopped. Around Christmas in 2020 after years of not speaking with each other, the foster mom called Baby Boy Turnbull’s mom and said she had been on her mind and she wanted to see how she was doing and they reconnected.

Truth vs. Right Ponderings

The Book of Mormon and the Prophets and apostles have told us the closer we get to the second coming the harder it will be to determine right from wrong. Even from looking at society values and morals thirty years ago up to now, which seems like a long time but it isn’t, I can see how quickly something can crumble and change and people can be used and turned against each other. Satan is trying to make us see people not as people but as a threat or inconsequential, and turn us against each other and he is getting more and more successful at it.

In the past few years I’ve seen friends and family that I thought were rocks in their beliefs and knowledge of God and The Gospel, crumble and fall. It has been on my mind a lot lately. In the church it is mentioned a lot that the children and upcoming generations are going to have to be stronger and more firm then ever before to be able to navigate their futures and keep their testimonies and relationship with God strong and unbreakable. As a mom that is often on my mind, along with the worries am I teaching my kids enough. Ryan and I have had many conversations (and will have many more) and drive the kids crazy sometimes with out talks about knowing their responsibilities to learn, apply, search, study, strengthen and then repeat over and over to maintain a strong unshakable testimony of the gospel and their purpose in their lives on earth. Lately, I’ve had the desire to write it down for them to hopefully read later when I am not as present in their lives as I am now and remind them again.

The words true/right, and wrong/false, are often used interchangeably in conversation. I believe there are truths, rights, falsehoods and wrongs, and we make our choices based on what we believe those to be. However, I don’t believe those words are interchangeable. Recently, when I was reading the Book of Mormon I noticed that the word truth is used almost exclusively, instead of right or wrong. I say ‘almost exclusively’ because since pondering this thought I haven’t re-read the entire Book of Mormon to compare and see how often each word is used but what I have read specifically uses the word truth when referring to the correct way, instead of right. I think the Lord is very intentional on what words are used in the scriptures so I started thinking about that choice of word, truth verses right.

There is generally an agreeing consensus among the majority of a group of people on what is right and what is wrong. These consensuses are somewhat firm but right or wrong can change and even have some grey area, due to new information, discoveries, circumstances, societal pressure and so forth.

Then there are truths. Truths are absolute. Truths are not changeable based on political, societal, personal or even religious beliefs. Truths can not be changed but they can be accepted or rejected. Accepted or rejected truths define political, societal, personal, and religious decisions for a person. They make us what we are. Truths don’t change based on whether you believe them or not and full or partial understanding of a truth does not change it as truth. Truths are not fluid like decisions and even right and wrong. For something to be a truth does not mean it is perfectly or completely understood. Truths can have varying degrees of consequence or influence. In my life my list of absolute truths is not very long but it caries more weight and influence then any other aspect of my life. It helps provide clarity in areas of my life that can get murky. Accepting or rejecting a truth leads to accepting or rejecting other related truths.

Decisions (aka choices) are made based on information, facts, emotions, opinions, knowledge, ignorance, life experiences, right, wrong, truths, or the complete lack of some or any of these things.

In my head I envision a giant net made of all truths. Individual truths form a chain and link with all other truths, creating the net. God has a perfect complete net and knows ALL truths. We don’t. I don’t.

As individuals, we are each aware of different truths and learn and expand on different truths throughout our lives. Some have more truths then others. We are each forming our own net of truths throughout our lives. When a truth is learned, or accepted that link is galvanized and strengthened and can lead to other truths. Some truths we learn might start in the middle of the chain, and links can be made going in multiple directions. Chains can be stronger and more complete in some areas then others. Multiple parts or chains can be growing at different times and eventually they will all come together and form a giant net of truths. I think there are some critical links we can connect and grow during this life but I don’t think it is possible to have a complete perfect net in this life. I also think faith can be used as a link to connect parts of our nets when our understanding and knowledge of truths are not complete. Facts are often considered truth-especially from a science perspective. The flaw with assuming facts are absolute truths is it is not always possible to know when a complete truth is known. Sometimes facts can change if more truth is found or revealed.

This is some of my chain of truths in relation to God.

God exists. He is real, He created me. He has a purpose and a plan which is to bring about the immortality and eternal life of mankind. My truth is God is the Father of Jesus Christ and His teachings and plans were brought to the earth and fulfilled through Jesus and will continue to be.
After Christ’s death, God’s truths and power were eventually lost on earth until it was restored by God again through Joseph Smith. Joseph Smith was given the charge to translate the Book of Mormon and restore the gospel and Gods power to the earth-completely. My truth is that Joseph Smith was not perfect but he was called by God to do the things he did. Joseph did what God asked him to do and His gospel was restored and is on the earth now.
Because of the first two truths, my truths include the 13 Articles of Faith including number eight that states The Book of Mormon is the word of God. The prophets in the Book of Mormon repeatedly say it was written for our day-MY TIME. Therefore lessons and teachings in it were meant to be learned, used, and applied, to my life now.
Since God restored the priesthood to Joseph Smith, the priesthood has been organized and passed through a consecutive unbroken line of modern day prophets up to President Nelson and will continue and not be removed from the earth before He comes again.

A persons truths are the pillars of who they are. If a person accepts a truth and later rejects it (or vice versa), any decision or choice previously made based on that truth has to be remade. Some truths have more of an impact on our lives then others.

Easter

This past Sunday was Easter. It was a very nice day. The kids woke up and found their baskets and eggs and enjoyed those for a bit. Then we had breakfast together and got all cleaned up and ready for church. We had a good at home sacrament meeting. Sometimes we have more of a discussion, other times more someone talks and everyone listens. For Easter we had a good family discussion about why we have Easter and the kids asked some good questions. Then we all sang some songs together, including Gethsemane which is a favorite of mine.

After church Ryan and Matthew took naps and the girls were playing happily so I decided to start on dinner. We usually just have two meals on Sundays. A late breakfast and lunch then a snack before bed if we need one. Our traditional Easter meal is ham and cheesy potatoes. We had that and I made scones with honey and a veggie to go with it. We all had a nice meal together.

Afterwards, we cleaned up and then watched a movie called “The Fighting Preacher” together. It is one my mom told me about. It is about a couple that were asked to live in the Joseph Smith home in Palmyra after the church bought it in the early 1900’s. It is a good little film.

Ryan decided that he wanted to have the family learn a hymn together and sing on the parts. We worked on that after the movie. It didn’t go as well as we hoped. The kids were only semi interested and not all of them can…naturally carry a tune. I tried to teach them how to sing but it ended up just singing the same off tune note at different volumes instead of actually changing notes. Ryan and I are ok singers but neither of us were successful at figuring out how to teach and explain how to sing a certain note. We will revisit that plan later and stick with the melody for now.

It was a peaceful and quiet Sunday. Everyone got along and enjoyed being together. It was a good day. I am glad for the life and sacrifices of our Savior so we can remember and celebrate all he did for us on the last week of his earthly life.

Changes…

Being in a quarantine obviously changes your daily routines and habits a little. I thought I would make this post about some of those changes. Some things might make more than one list.

Things we will have to relearn or get used to again when this is over:

How to do my makeup
How to wake up before 8… ok 9am
Getting dressed everyday
How to drive
Where everything is located
Talking to people in person
Wearing shoes
Being able to touch someone in public without public shaming
Get used to NOT hearing the word ‘Mom!’ every 5 seconds.

Positive side of a quarantine

Less laundry
Ryan is home all the time and loves to cook dinner
Lots of family time
Everyone can sleep in
Learn how to SLOW down and live life simply
Simple schedule and plan for each day
Can catch up on EVERY SINGLE THING you have been meaning to do at the house.
Lots of time and opportunity to teach and learn from each other
Puzzles
Don’t have to hear stupid presidential campaign advertisements every 3 seconds
Games
Technology
Kids becoming better friends with each other
Find areas that you might want to improve for your food and supply storage in the future
Better our piano skills
Reading
Social media
Catch up on any movie you have ever wanted to see
Quiet and peaceful when happy

Negative side of a quarantine

No one thinks they need a bedtime
Lots of family time
Social Media
Lack of motivation
Vacation with sisters was canceled
Spring Break trips were canceled
Ryan’s Vegas trip was canceled
Window leak…no one is working to fix it
Can’t travel
Supply shortages
Media and political RIDICULOUSNESS
Economy will struggle
Can’t go shopping when you want
Lonely and depressing when sad
More cleaning
Anxiety for kids
Cabin fever

Unexpected surprises

Teacher parade in cars down the streets to say hi to the kids
Weekly window surprises to look for on walks
Sidewalk dance moves drawn by neighbors for walks.
We were “egged” by a mystery someone for Easter-they left treats and a little plant.
All the neighbors eating out front in their driveways together to say hi.

Renewed appreciation for

Fast Shipping
Toilet Paper
Freedom
Running clean water
Families
Books
Humor
Time with Family and Friends
Prophet and Church leaders
Comfortable home
Jobs
Structure

I was going to post this when the quarantine was over but who knows when that will be so now is as good a time as any.

April General Conference 2020

President Nelson: Welcome to conference. After Sunday morning session we will have a Hosanna shout together.

Elder Ballard: Reviewed history of early life of Joseph Smith and Hyrum and Joseph Smiths sacrifice of their lives for the Savior.Think of an offering you can give to the Lord in the next little bit. Then do it.

Elder James R. Rasband: Story of Alma. He repented and mourned for himself, but also those that he lead away. He was not able to right the wrongs and heal and restore for all those individuals. That is what the atonement is for. To heal and repair the wrongs and mistakes we can not do ourselves.

Sister Joy D. Jones: During a time of uncertainty a woman’s influence on others can be increased ten fold. “The Lord loves effort, because effort brings rewards that can’t come without it.” (President Nelson) Effort. Hard work. Study. Learning is integral to progression.”I plead with you to improve your ability to receive individual revelation.” (President Nelson) Use the spirit to know which of our many hats we should wear and focus on. We can’t wear them all at the same time. Seek personal revelation

Elder Neil Anderson: During times of difficulty in our lives, the Savior will bring moments of confirmation of love and spiritual assurance of past experiences of the Holy Ghost witnessing truth to us. Listen for and be aware of those spiritual defining moments in our lives. Seek and remember moments of personal revelation. Embrace, record, and share (when appropriate) our spiritual memories.

Elder Douglas Holmes: The purpose of the Children and Youth program is to help get the gospel and its principals deep into our hearts. Relationships are important to help and support each other along the way. Develop by gathering, listening, spending time, speaking and sharing with others in our lives. Spiritual experiences are essential to our progression. This will fuel our desire to become more like the Savior through repentance and change. Heavenly Father doesn’t want us to just do what is right, he wants us to CHOOSE to do what is right. Engage in the gospel-ACT.

Elder Henry B. Eyring: The work of the gospel will require all the energy and skill of the saints. We don’t know everything but we do know- we will share the gospel with the world, we will gather together. We do this by growing in spiritual power through repentance, live the commandments, praying in faith to seek personal revelation. Ask ourselves- What would He (Savior) have me do? Prayers of faith like- Joseph Smith and Enos will provide us guidance in our lives. Find joy in the work we are asked by Him to perform.

Elder Ulisses Soares: Retold story of Joseph Smilth seeing Moroni, getting the plates and translating them. We should each gain our own testimony of the Book of Mormon by reading and pondering the words and then praying to Heavenly Father and ask with a sincere heart and pure intent in faith if the words you are reading and studying are true.

Elder John A McCune: Our ability to help others come unto the gospel will be reflected upon by the example we set ourselves in living the gospel. When Lehi invited his family to come to the tree of life, he didn’t leave the tree to get them. He stayed and beckoned them to come to him.

Elder Dale G. Renlund: Story of man that needed a heart transplant. His grandson was in an accident and his heart became available to his grandpa. After the surgery he lived 13 more years. Don’t seek to change God’s will. Seek you have your will aligned more with God’s will. Act on the commandment to “Hear Him”.

Elder Benjamin Tai: Just like a regular physical checkup with our doctor, we should do regular checkups on ourselves to evaluate our spiritual heath. Study the Book of Mormon according to our circumstances (story of man that studied the children’s Book of Mormon and using dictionary to understand as best he could because it was not available).

Elder Gary E. Stevensen: History of the building of the Salt Lake Temple. Steps that are being taken to strengthen the temple foundation from earthquakes. We should evaluate our personal foundations and evaluate ways we can strengthen and renew our personal and family foundations. Family prayer, scripture study, temple attendance and gospel study with Come Follow Me.

Questions to help make sure you have a sure foundation in the gospel.

Do you have faith in and a testimony of God the eternal father, his son Jesus Christ and the holy ghost?
Do you have a testimony of the atonement of Jesus Christ and of his roll as your savior and redeemer?
Do you have a testimony of the restoration and gospel of Jesus Christ?
Do you sustain the president of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints as the prophet, seer and revelator and as the only person on the earth authorized to exercise use in priesthood keys?

Elder Gerrit W. Gong: Hosanna and Hallelujah. Easter represents a physical and spiritual restoration.

Sister Jean Bingham: Adam and Eve had same goals and desires even if their approach was different. Families are essential unites of eternity. Satan tries to pit men and women against each other to drive a wedge between them and assist in the downfall of the family. Desire the happiness of your spouse more than your own. Help pick up the slack when one of you is struggles. Work to change and improve areas of personal shortcomings.

Elder Henry B. Eyring: Doctrine and Covenants Section 110. VS 4- I am the first and the last; I am he who liveth, I am he who was slain; I am your advocate with the Father. (The Savior has many names and descriptions. Advocate is one of my favorites. I tell my kids that I am their advocate. I remember a talk discussing the significance of the word advocate verses a friend or something else.) Whenever we perceive to solve one problem and receive revelation, we open the door to receive more revelation. The Lord has seen everything coming that is happening and has prepared things for us.

Elder Dallin H. Oaks: The power of the priesthood is used in the church and in the family. In the temple women do not hold an office in the priesthood but are given authority to help with ordinances. Parents should encourage more priesthood blessings in the family. Mortals bodies can be full of light or darkness. What we do and allow into our minds is what determines if we are full of darkness or light. By your fruits ye shall know them.

President Nelson: Began by reminding us why it is important to call the church by the correct name. The Church of Jesus Christ. Introduced the new symbol of the church. It will be used as the official identifier of official church information. Fasting. Asked everyone to join again in a fast on April 10th for the relief from the pandemic, the economy and healing throughout the world.

Elder Ronald A. Rasband: Reviewed and shared many prophecies from ancient prophets and Joseph Smith that have or are being fulfilled. The essence of pure religion is what draws people to the gospel. We must be prepared in heart and mind to receive the Savior whenever the Second Coming happens. NO unhallowed hand can stop the work from progressing. The truth of God will go for boldly faithfully and independently.

Sister Bonnie H. Cordon: Intentionally shine your light so others can see it and know where to find the truth.

Elder Jeffrey R Holland: He asked himself the question- If I lived 200 years ago, what would I feel is missing? In response to the prophets challenge to prepare for this conference. He would have been looking for God to be speaking and providing guidance and love like he did in ancient times-Prophet of God. He would have hoped for evidence that Jesus is the Christ-The Book of Mormon. Hope for someone with true priesthood authority to fulfill needed ordinances and covenants. Ordinances available for those that lived and died without the knowledge of Jesus Christ could be done for them.

Elder David A Bednar: Our hearts denote what our inner desires are. The gospel santifies our hearts and “turning the hearts to the fathers and the children to the fathers” changes our hearts and brings us closer to our father in Heaven. The Lord works from the inside out. The world works from the outside in. In 1924 when President Nelson was born there were 6 operating temples. There are now 168 operating temples, 48 additional temples announced or under construction. The work is accelerating and growing. Prophets of all ages have looked forward to our day with anticipation and delight and the work that will be done for the salvation of the human family. This latter day work will destroy the darkness of evil and bring about the salvation of the human family.

President Nelson: Every time they showed a shot of President Nelson during this conference he has been smiling and almost bursting with excitement and joy. He is a true prophet of God and his countenance alone brings hope and comfort when I see him. What does the restoration of the gospel to the earth mean for us? It means families can be sealed together for eternity, it means we can be baptized by one with authority and have the constant companion of Holy Ghost, it means we are never left comfortless or without access to the power of God to help you, it means the priesthood power can bless you as you make and keep sacred covenants. The Lord communicates simply quietly and with stunning plainness. When we have fear and uncertainty Heavenly Father knows that is when we need to hear the Savior’s voice. Hear Him. As disciples of Jesus Christ our efforts to hear him need to be more intentional and purposeful. Hear Him in the scriptures daily. Hear Him in the temple. Increase your time in family history work to hear Him. KNOW HOW THE SPIRIT SPEAKS TO YOU. Do whatever it takes to increase your ability to receive personal revelation. Hear Him by heading the words of prophets, seers and revelators. You will be blessed with power to handle stress and evils that come our way. Today I will be reading and releasing a new proclamation to the world titled, The restoration of the fullness of the gospel of Jesus Christ a bicentennial proclamation to the world April 2020. Then he led all of us in the Hosanna shout. “The Lord works from the inside out. The world works from the outside in. The world would take people out of the slums. Christ would take the slums out of the people, and then they would take themselves out of the slums. The world would mold men by changing their environment. Christ changes men, who then change their environment. The world would shape human behavior, but Christ can change human nature.” ~Ezra Taft Benson

Elder Dallin H. Oaks: In ways that have not been revealed, our actions in the spirit world effected our time here in mortality.

Elder Ricardo Gimenez: All of us will have storms or moments of stress in our lives at one point or another. No matter what kind of storm or the duration. The only refuge for a storm is the Lord Jesus Christ and his atonement. To one with faith, no explanation is necessary. To one without faith, no explanation is possible.

Elder Deiter F. Uchtdorf: Our part is to love God, as we do that he will provide us with things that we need.

Elder L. Whitney Clayton: Fine homes are established by 1. Quality of spirital attributes in the inhabitants. The reflection of Christ in their countenance is seen by others. 2. Make time to study the words or scriptures and prophets every day. Remodel your home if needed to have family and personal studies. 3. Follow the blue print created by the Lord for the temples. Compare this to keeping the commandments, steady discipleship. Use our temple recommends as often as possible. 4. Refuges from the storms of life. Those who keep the commandments of God will be prosperous and be able to weather storms in life on their own. Faithful living will provide strength, fortitude and peace through their trials.

Elder D. Todd Christofferson: Love, example, and use of the Book of Mormon are how we should share the gospel with others. “Do not burn my book. Go to your room and read my book.”

President Nelson: Reminded us of the new Proclamation, the church wide fast, and all other guidance we were given through the talks of this conference. Even with the temples closed you can still draw upon the power of your priesthood covenants made in the temple. Apostolic blessing: Bless you with peace and increasing faith in the Lord, bless you to repent and draw closer to the Savior each day, bless you to know that Joseph Smith is the prophet that brought the restored gospel, bless you with healing. There were 8 new temples announced including one in Shanghai China.

The themes that stood out to me for this conference is the blessings of the restoration of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. The importance of seeking, recognizing, listening and following personal revelation from the Holy Ghost. Learn how to hear Him.

April Fool’s Day

This is a day that I usually prefer to pass by unnoticed and then pretend to be disappointed when someone remembers we missed it. Most of my family seems to be on the same page with my opinion, with the exception of Allison. She anticipates it for months and has almost the same giddy excitement she has for Christmas or her birthday when it gets close. With the entire Nation on stay-at-home orders I think in general most people paid more attention to it this year, simply because of lack of other things happening. Allison had a long list of tricks ready to go.

She placed a piece of card board in all the toilets. Thank goodness she hasn’t discovered other ‘options’ for this classic trick, that I will not even mention here because she does eventually read this.

She put tape across several doorways. This happened to be the day I did laundry and often was carrying things in front of me so I couldn’t see as well. So I personally ‘fell’ for this one at least 5 times and so did others. She was very pleased with herself.

I also found tape covering the faucet when I turned it on in my bathroom.

The one she did that made me chuckle the most was drawing on Emilee’s arm while she was sleeping. Emilee came in and said, “Mom, I don’t remember drawing any of this on my arm.” She still draws on herself enough that it was a total possibility she did it, but was confused she couldn’t recall it.

Allison’s pride and joy prank for the day was getting a hold of Matthew’s cell phone and changing her contact to “Campbell” who is Matthew’s crush. She then texted him like she was Campbell. Matthew figured out pretty quickly that it wasn’t Campbell but he thought it was her sister. He even told Allison about it and she was giggling while she sat right next to him and continued to text. He figured it out shortly after that. Then I helped him change it back and change the password on his phone so she couldn’t get into it anymore.

The winning prank of the day was by me though. Thanks to my neighbors. They pranked me first with the following pictures.

This is the Governor of Kansas. I was shocked when I saw the schools would go through July.

Once they new they got me they said they were looking it and would send me more info when they found it. A minute or so later she said here is what we found. and send me this.

I was still a little confused and thought it was not very appropriate of the Governor of Kansas to do something like this. Then I saw the subtitle-the Hogan’s are the neighbors that sent it to me. They got me good. Then I decided to pass it forward to my kids.

Allison was mad for a good 30 minutes before she calmed down. 🤦‍♀️

Days can be long but the years are short.

I think this time of year with Spring finally coming and things blooming and changing and getting to be outside more and summer getting close and the school year starting to wrap up I start to feel naustalgic. We have a few months left before we officially finish up the toddler phase of our family and enter the everyone is in school all day phase of our family. It is a bitter sweet feeling. On the obvious side of the perks of having the kids at school and the time that opens up to get stuff done faster and get to things that have been put off for a long time that will be nice. It will be nice to be able to get stuff done so once they get home I can focus on just them and not have other distractions. On the other hand though I will really miss having some company during the day. For the last 12 years of my life I have had at least one of my kids with me for the majority if not all of the day. This is going to be a big change. Things just aren’t the same once they start school, everything speeds up.

I remember before Matthew started kindergarten I thought the parents that said they cried when they took their kids to school for the first time were kind of weird. I envisioned myself doing a cartwheel. Then I took Matthew to kindergarten and I wasn’t crying (ok, I cried when I got home) but it pulled at my heart strings a lot more than I expected. He had been my buddy. He is such a good kid too. He is so kind and pleasant to be around. His cute little giggle and adorable smile. He loved to play and run and do whatever I was doing. He is a thinker and is good at making people around him feel good. One of my favorite memories of Matthew is when he was about 18 months pushing his little bubble lawn mower next to his dad and wearing one of Ryan’s hats while Ryan mowed the lawn. I remember watching them and wishing I could push pause on time for a while. Contrast that to yesterday while Ryan and I were working in the yard and Matthew was riding MY bike in circles in the driveway while he talked with us. He is still an amazing kid but he is starting to get a little teenager in him and doesn’t want to hang out as much as he used to or has a lot of things going on with friends and baseball that keep him busy.

Allison was my saving grace when Matthew started kindergarten. She was still home with me to keep me company. With her little determined independent self accompanied by her cute little bouncing blond pony tails she has always been a force to be wreckened with. She has always been ready to go out and explore the world around her. I could put Matthew and Emilee on a blanket on the grass and they wouldn’t leave because they didn’t like the poky grass. Allison never paused for a second, she would immediatley take off to explore through whatever terrain surrounded her. Her being the middle child Emilee was on her way so she didn’t get as much one on one as everyone else. But we still had many fun times together at the park, or on walks, or story time at the library, playgroup, and anything else we did. She was very good to Emilee and liked to take care of her and help with what she needed. Allison was only going to be five by a couple weeks when she started kindergarten so she only did one year of preschool. She really is an independent person and wants to do everything her older brother does so she had no problem starting school and never looked back. I am more of a home body and she is the exact opposite so sometimes it is exhausting for me to keep her satified with getting out and doing things but I am glad she is that way. She is already great at making things happen instead of waiting for things to happen.

Matthew and Alli were only half day kindergarten, which I thought was perfect for them. Last year was the last year Kansas did half day kindergarten so when Emilee starts next Fall she will be gone all day. I think she will do fine with it. She will be almost six when she starts and has reached the stage where she wants more social interaction and activities going on during the day. I am the one that is going to struggle with it. Emilee is a joyful easy companion. She is fun to take pretty much wherever I go. She has done preschool a few days a week the past two years but it will be very different to have her gone all day. She is my little buddy. I will miss having her joyful little self skipping around the house. I have been feeling a little glum lately wanting to push a pause button on time again. When I got her preschool pictures back it got me thinking about it all again.

I love watching my kids and discovering the traits they were born with from day one and the things they learn and develop along the way. I know I am not done with that either, like I said it is just changing. When we left the baby phase for good, I was a little sad about that too. Our new phase has its perks too. It is pretty easy to hop in the car and go places now. Our Florida trip really was pretty nice, everyone can entertain themselves and can handle being in the car all day. The girls still need a little help but everyone can get themselves ready for things for the most part. I also like them being able to explain and talk things through more, and have a few more reasoning skills.

To sum up, I am happy and gratful I get to be a mom, and I get to be a mom that gets to stay home with her kids. The sleepless nights, blow-outs, being thrown up on, crying, tantrums, fits, sickness, messes, diaper changes, days without a shower, no adult interaction, reading the same book 50 times in a row, singing the ABC’s ‘one more time’, and all the other exhausting sometimes mind numbing activities that aren’t the easiest part of being a mom are completely worth every hug, smile, kiss, giggle, snuggle, laugh, joyful discovery, dried tear, fixed ouchie, silly, funny, happy, once in a lifetime moments that come along with it.

Here is some of my favorite moments from the past few years.

FAT Adventures LLC is born.

A few years back we were on vacation in Island Park, Idaho. For part of it we went camping with Kenny and Sherri in Yellowstone National Park. While we were there Ryan noticed how many RV’s were around and started making a business plan with Kenny. At the time the French’s were living in Idaho so we were trying to get logistics worked out for having our own RV Rental business. There were some hitches in how we wanted things to work, and then the French’s moved to Florida. RV Renting fell to the wayside for a few years. We still talked about it and Ryan was ready to do it if it was ever possible. When we went to Florida in March he and Kenny were joking about finally starting the RV business when we came to visit. One night we went to dinner without the kiddos and started talking about it. We quickly started thinking that we had a pretty ideal set up to start it. Kenny and Sherri have a big lot they could keep it on and Kenny could service and turn them over. So we decided to do it. When we got home we all started working on different things to get the business underway. A week later we had our LLC submitted and approved and an RV bought and listed to rent with supplies on the way to get her ready for renters, and the month of April completely booked with more bookings coming in almost daily. It has been a pretty crazy process. I am glad there are four of us to split the work load. I am focusing on our website/social media/accounting stuff. Our first one was booking so well that we decided to get two more right away. So a little into our second week we had three RV’s, a website, Facebook Page, logo, and software for booking and accounting rolling out. It has been pretty exciting to work on too. Every time things start to settle it seems like we think of more things that need to be done or we want to do. I am going to flat out pat myself on the back for the website. I impressed myself that I managed to get a fully functional pretty decent website up and running! That is not my wheel house at all. Ryan and Kenny are now talking about how to get this growing even more.

We named our little business FAT Adventures. Which has a few thoughts behind it. One is a play on words that we want to help people have a FAT adventure using the slang meaning of the word Phat. Another is the acronym with French and Terry. We also wanted a name that wasn’t specifically for RV’s because eventually we hope to expand and have homes and storage facilities for rent too.

So, as I mentioned it is pretty exciting. I have learned a ton already. I am excited this is something I can work on from home too. Even though all my kids will be in school next year all day, I still want to be home when they come home and get to be with them during that time. So far this seems to have the potential to grow and really take off. We are all crossing our fingers it will be a success. We also named our RV’s so it is easier to keep track of them the picture below is our first one. We call it Cowboy, we have a slightly smaller one we call Li’l Sebastian, and a big one we call Moose.

Pottery Making…try one.

I have always wanted to try pottery making with a wheel. I have thought about taking a class on the community college once the kids are in school. I decided to look into any businesses that offer it around here and found one! The lady that does it offers a weekly month long class, or she has a ‘try it’ night, once or twice a month. So I asked some friends to go with me and last night Lauren and Alysa Wada went to a class and had our first try at making pottery. I loved it! I was okay at it, I think I could be pretty good at it with practice. The instructor taught us to make a vase, a bowl, and a plate. My vase was looking pretty good and then the top flew off because it got to thin and twisted. I would have preferred starting over but instead the instructor salvaged what was left…I think it ended up looking more like an ash tray than a vase. My bowl ended up looking very similar to my ash tray vase but a better version. My plate was pretty good but when next to the others looked like a squashed ash tray. So I was a little frustrated with my end products but I loved doing it and would want to do it again. Her weekly classes are not at a very convenient time for me right now, but hopefully someday I will be able to take one of her month long classes. We weren’t able to trim them last night either because of time constraints, so the instructor will do the trimming, put it in the kiln, and then stain it for us with the color we picked. Then we go pick them back up in a few weeks. She said once they are trimmed they will look a lot less like an ash tray. It was a fun night. I have always wanted to try it, and now I want to try it again!

No more training wheels.

When Matthew was 5 he asked us to take his training wheels off and we helped him get started once and he was good to go. I was shocked at how fast he got it. Allison was almost 5 and we were in Utah visiting Aunt DeAnna and her family. We would ride bikes out front several times a day. They had one of those balancing bikes with no peddles. Alli had been trying it for a few days and then tried a regular bike and took off. We like to go on family bike rides, and last summer I sold our bike trailor to someone because it was getting to hard to drag Emilee behind us. The next bike ride we went on Emilee rode her bike along with us with her training wheels. As we all know it takes a lot more work to ride a bike with training wheels than without them. At the beginning of the ride she was singing and loving it, about halfway through she was wailing and crying at how stupid bike rides where and saying she never ever wanted to go on another bike ride. We made it home and told her it was time to start working on no training wheels. She practiced through the Fall until it got to cold to ride a bike. She could do it but then started thinking to much and over correcting and eventually crashed. We tried again a few weeks ago and she was doing much better but couldn’t get started on her own and still got nervous with turning sometimes. Last weekend Alli spent a little time working with her and it finally clicked. She can start, stop, turn around and do anything else she needs. Of course she loves it. I remember how exciting it felt when I was learning to ride my bike and it finally clicked and all of the sudden I could just do it. It is fun remembering and seeing these little milestones as they grow up. Between Emilee learning to ride her bike and loosing her first tooth, I am a little overwhelmed lately with how fast time flies and before you know it your babies aren’t babies and your toddlers aren’t toddlers and your son is almost a young man. So crazy.

Another example of time going to fast is Emilee had her Kindergarten Round Up, last week. The school has all the incoming Kindergartners come to the school and see the class rooms and meet the teachers and see the library and lunch room. They have several activities for them to do too while the parents fill out all of the paper work. I was actually at a dental conference so Ryan took her. She is pretty shy in new situations but went to the activities and did what everyone else was doing when it was time. Matthew and Alli were in half day Kindergarten. They have changed things around since then and there isn’t really a half day option anymore, so Emilee will be going full day. She will be almost 6 when she starts in the Fall and has done a few years of preschool so I think she will be just fine but I feel like I am getting shorted out of my time of having her at home with me.

Sunday afternoons.

This year our church starts at 8 a.m. I will not lie, this is not out favorite time of the week. We try to have everyone shower and lay clothes out and get as much ready the night before but it doesn’t always happen. We have occasionally made it and gotten sat down right before the person conducting starts the meeting, but more often than not we are a few minutes late. Once we actually get to church though, I am liking the 8 a.m. time. The kids are fresh and more alert and usually have eaten enough breakfast that they are fine until we get home to go without a snack. Then we get home and have the rest of the day to enjoy our sabbath day of rest. As the kids are getting older and our schedules are getting more hectic I am really starting to appreciate even more having Sunday as our day to step back, relax from the daily grind and enjoy our church and family time.

We have gotten into the routine of coming home and making a breakfast meal for lunch. Then anyone that wants to can take a little nap, usually its just Ryan and I but occasionally one of the others will decide to nap. The non-nappers read or play quietly together. Unless we do a family movie or AFV episode together, we have decided to not have any electronics on Sunday. This is probably a little bit of a ‘haha!’ moment for my parents. When I was in about 3rd grade I remember them telling us there would be no more TV on Sundays. I remember saying and thinking many times that it was a dumb idea and I would never do that when I was older. Of course my kids whine and try and think of every possible reason or excuse to make just watching TV like normal a good family building experience. That is some of their best bonding and playing together time of the week though. I love hearing them decide what game to play together and spending some quality time with each other.

After naps we all play games together, read books together, make a dessert together, things like that. Sometimes we make a treat and then invite another family or two to come over that evening and help us eat it. One of our favorite treats is to help Ryan make his Grandma Groom’s cinnamon rolls. Ryan is the one who likes to cook of the two of us so he usually cooks a nice dinner for us on Sundays too. After dinner and dishes if we don’t have someone come over we watch America’s Funniest Videos together while we eat popcorn (preferably air popped). If our Monday night is busy the next day sometimes we have FHE on Sunday night too. We try and get a little one on one time with the kids on Sunday also.

Its just a nice day. I am grateful for Heavenly Father’s wisdom in giving us the Sabbath day to rest from the daily grind and chaos of the other six days of the week and recharge. I love having the whole day to focus on the Savior and family.

Easter Weekend

The last few weeks have been flying by! I’ll start with Easter and work backwards. This past weekend was Easter and also General Conference for church. It was also April Fool’s day much to Alli’s delight, and we got to have Grandma and Grandpa Jones come visit us for the weekend.

Friday night started with the girls and I going to Disney on Ice with Aliya, Cambrie and Lori McDonald. They had a special offer through the girl scouts and Lori’s daughters are in girl scouts too so we all went together. It was really good! Disney always does a good job. Everyone had a fun time and got to sing along to fun songs. Emilee was over the moon excited that Moana was part of it. Allison sang her little heart out for the Frozen songs. After the show they had a special behind the scenes for the girl scouts. We went down and sat right by the ice rink and they showed us different things that make the show work and told us fun stuff about the show, and we watched some skating of course. We were so close we got sprayed with the ice when they went by. We were all hungry afterwards so we went to Freddy’s for some hamburgers and ice cream. It was a really fun girls night.

Saturday we watched conference and played games with Grandma and Grandpa. I have been teaching Allison a few card games, so she wanted everyone to play Wacky Six together. All of us can play except Emilee but she just sat at the table with us and colored and got to tell us when to start the round. My parents and I also went to Spring Hill and looked around at some houses there. Hopefully they will be moving by one of their kids soon so I wanted to tempt them with some possibilities here if they end up in Kansas.

Sunday was a relaxed morning, the kids went through their baskets and found all the eggs. Aaron’s Easter basket has a little Easter lesson in it that we do every year. We usually do it for FHE the week before but we hadn’t done it yet so we did that too. We watched the rest of Conference Sunday. It was a really nice Conference, they changed several programs and ways that things are organized. They talked a lot about ministering to those around us and taking care of others. We set out snacks like we usually do with a word that is said often in conference by each snack. When the kids hear the word they can pick a snack out of the bowl. It helps them pay attention a little better and they look forward to having fun snacks. We like to have ham and cheesy potatoes for Easter so we did that for dinner. My parents didn’t have to leave until Monday so we finished up the evening with more games. It is always fun to have grandparents come to visit.

Allison has been counting the days down to April Fool’s day for almost a month. She was giddy about it. She doesn’t quite get what you are supposed to do though, so she used it as a day to be ridiculously silly more than pranks-which is fine with me. At one point she was wearing her clothes inside out, my bra on top of that, her hair in a pony under her chin so it looked hairy, and every body part she could reach labeled with a sticky note. I helped her do a few things like hide a few extra eggs with peas and carrots in them, and putting food coloring in the bottom of everyone’s cup so the milk changed colors. She has some pre-April Fool’s jokes throughout the month while she anticipated the actual day. All of us had our turn of going to get dressed one morning and finding instead of our own underwear, someone elses.

Emilee had a momentous occasion this past week. She lost her first tooth. It has been wiggly forever. She is going to be one of those kids that hangs onto her teeth until they fall out completely on their own. She could have wiggled it out days before it finally fell out. It was exciting for her though. Before we know it our youngest isn’t going to be so young anymore.

The weekend before Easter Grandma and Grandpa Terry came down for the weekend. They stayed at Ross and Lauren’s so we spent most of the weekend over at their house. Roger is getting ready to retire this summer so we talked with them about moving down here by us sooner rather than later. It was a pretty busy weekend with baseball, soccer, cleaning the church, a baptism, and other things so we didn’t get to see them as much as we would like but we are always glad when they come for a visit.

Earlier this month I was working on a Monday and left for work about 7am. When I work Ryan drops the kids off at school and then heads to work around 7:45. Earlier that weekend I had driven Ryan’s car for some reason. His car has a key you don’t have to put in the ignition. It just has to be on your person somewhere, and we only have one of them. I usually try to just not drive his car because I always forget to take the key out of my purse afterwards and there have been far to many times where I leave with his key and have to bring it back to him. It is very frustrating for all involved. So as you can probably guess, I forgot again and was 35 minutes away working in a dental office when Ryan called to see if I had his key. Grrrr. It gets better though. I found someone to pick Emilee up and take her to preschool and Ryan said he would walk the other two to school, and actually he had been planning on working from home so he was set. Now it gets worse. When it was time to walk to school it is not just sprinkling or drizzling rain. It is a solid steady down pour of rain. Allison was not swayed at and she grabbed her stuff and was out the door. Matthew was not so cooperative. Stubborn little stinker. If he gets hit with a 50 mph baseball he shakes it off like nothing happened, but if you tell him he has to get wet or cold against his will and he will have none of it. He refused to walk in the rain. Refused. Ryan asked, told, demanded, threatened loss of electronics (this usually works 99% of the time for Matthew), actually took away electronics, bribed , begged, and demanded again, Matthew would not go. So he started doing the list of chores that would take him all day long to do instead of going to school. About this time Emilee’s ride came to pick her up and Matthew asked her to drop him off at school on the way. Like I said- Stinker.

Baseball season has started…but no one told the weather. Our first few scrimmages, outdoor practices and game or two have been canceled because of cold, rain, and snow. We have a game tonight that was rescheduled from a week ago. Matthew has been checking the weather every five minutes hoping it will cooperate. So far so good. He will be excited to have the first game under his belt and really get into baseball season.