This photo popped up in Ryan’s phone the other day. This is from 3 years ago. Emilee would be 6 and Matthew would be 12. Probably a school fundraiser night at Culver’s.
That’s it for 2021! Bring on 2022!
After a relaxing at home after Christmas, it was time for another party! Our friends the Beashore’s invited us over to celebrate the New Year with them. We ate lots of pizza and snacks for dinner. The rest of the evening was spent playing games and visiting.
They taught us a fun game they play every New Years Eve called Saran Wrap. I actually don’t know what they call it but that is what I am calling it. The kids all get in a line around the table oldest to youngest. The youngest gets to start with the ball. The ball is a bunch of little candies, gum, giftcards, coins, cash, anything you want rolled up in the saran wrap every few feet. When you start the person with the ball unwraps as fast as they can while the next person is rolling a dice. If they roll a three or a six they ball is passed to them. Anything you unwrap you get to keep. As soon as the ball is passed the next person starts rolling the dice and the new person unwraps. It keeps going until it is completely unwrapped. Then you can trade or bargain or keep whatever you got when you are done. It was a fun idea. I am sure our kids will want to carry it on next year and make it a tradition of ours too.
The other games we played were Taboo, ping pong, pop a shot, darts, occulus games, and dancing and boxing games on the play station. At midnight we cheered and lit off a few fireworks and confetti canons. It was a fun evening.
On our way home we saw that Grandpa and Grandma’s lights were still on so we stopped for a few minutes to say hi and tell them happy new years. Then we went home and went to bed!!
One of the gifts that our family got was a game called, Awkward Family Photos. We have played it a few times and it has some pretty funny pictures.
The Sunday after Christmas, Dad wanted to take a family photo of everyone before we changed out of our church clothes. It quickly evolved into taking our own awkward family photos. The first picture is the only one we didn’t intend to be awkward.
Countless times throughout the year anyone of our children is known to sleep through their alarm, purposefully not set an alarm, or have to be dragged from their bed kicking and screaming that they are tired and don’t want to wake up for one reason or another.
However, for the last ten years without fail or deviation of even one minute on Christmas morning, without an alarm, they all pop up like daisies at the predetermined earliest allowed to wake up time of 6:30am. Let that be an example of what the human brain can do with the right motivation.
This year was no different, they all woke up and then came in to get Ryan and I. Grandma and Grandpa Terry also came over to open presents with us at 6:30. Once the adults are in the living room and ready with their cameras the kids can come down and see the presents and stockings from Santa. Stockings are fair game and anything found in them can be immediately opened or eaten. Once everyone has had a few minutes to look through their stocking we take turn opening Santa presents one at a time. Once those are opened everyone starts opening presents at the same time. The wrapping paper goes in a general large pile and occasionally someone will take a break from unwrapping and stuff it in a trash bag. If Grandpa is there and you need a knife or scissors he loves to whip the one out of his pocket he carries with him at all times. If Grandpa isn’t present Ryan will whip out his pocket knife that he carries one day a year for a few hours on Christmas morning.
It was a very happy, blessed, fun Christmas morning for everyone this year. Once everything was opened we started breakfast. This years options were a breakfast casserole or all the favorite high sugar cold cereals. Grandma and Grandpa stayed a few more hours while we checked out our new stuff, did puzzles, watched a movie, listened to Christmas music, took a nap, or enjoyed relaxing.
We were on our own for Christmas this year. My family did our Christmas get together in October in Florida. Ryan’s family was spending it with the other half of their families.
Roger and Rhonda were planning on going to Texas but then changed their minds and stayed here. We invited them and the McDonald family over. We have done Christmas with them before and it has been a few years.
We decided to go and see the new spider man movie in the theatre. Emilee didn’t want to go so she hung out with Grandma. Matthew and Allison invited Campbell and Caylin. It was 40 minutes late starting because there were projector issues but once that got figured out we all enjoyed the movie.
We had a yummy ham dinner together. Ryan smoked the ham, Rhonda and Roger made the rolls, I did potatoes, corn and green bean casserole, and Lori brought coconut cream pie. It was a delicious festive dinner.
We sang some Christmas songs together, read and acted out the Christmas story, Emilee read a book, and there were several piano, cello, and clarinet musical numbers played. It was a great evening with friends and family. After we were all done hanging out and visiting everyone went home we opened our matching pajamas and took our Christmas eve family picture. Then we hurried off to bed so Santa could come!
It was a very wonderful day. I love Christmas time. The Christmas Spirit permeates everything and everyone is happier and friendlier and you take the time to appreciate family and friends. I am grateful for the birth of the Savior and His life. It isn’t just a nice story. He is real. I know because of Him and what he did for each of us we can have eternal families and be together forever. I am grateful for the atonement to repent and improve ourselves. I am grateful for my family, and the very blessed life we have and all the amazing friends and family we have in our lives.
December was a fun, busy, wonderful month! We usually put our decorations up the day after Thanksgiving but I did it right after Halloween this year- and I don’t regret it! 😁 We paused the Christmas festivities and were thankful and grateful at Thanksgiving then we were right back to the Christmas spirit!
We tried to focus on service this month so we did something each weekend to do service. We brought Grandpa along with us as much as we could.
The first week we did The Giving Machine at Crown Center. Each Christmas season our church does a #LightTheWorld. They have a few vending machines called Giving Machines that they have in a few places around the country. You can go and punch the number in for the item you want and just like a vending machine it drops the card to the bottom but instead of taking something you leave it there and they distribute whatever people donate to the different charities. There was local charities for food, clothes, and blankets or a safe place to stay. There were also world wide charities you could donate a chicken or water or things like that. This year we got to have a giving machine in Kansas City. They placed it in Crown Center, it is an area downtown that lots of people visit and do festive things for the holidays. We were all really excited to go and see it and pick a few things to donate. We did a few of the festivities while we were there too. We walked through the train and light exhibit, ate lunch at Spin City Pizza together, and some of us window shopped while the rest of us went ice skating. We of course visited the giving machine and donated some chickens, an acre of sweet potatoes, some food, blankets, and a goat. The kids loved it!
The other weekends we volunteered at the Johnson County Christmas Bureau. We were supposed to be there for 4 hours but we were only there for about 30 minutes and they told us they were done for the night. We told the kids it still counts for service and we will volunteer again next year and hopefully have better luck. We made a lot treats and then delivered them to friends and neighbors the following weekend. We also tried to volunteer at Harvesters food bank but they changed their age requirement to a minimum 16 years.
Allison had two gymnastic meets within the past month. One was here in Olathe, the other was in Columbia Missouri. We drove there and back in one day. She didn’t say this but I think she loved having a travel meet that took the entire day like her brother has travel for baseball sometimes. She did great at both meets. Her best event was the beam at our home meet and the bars at the Columbia meet-she nailed her kip. She also added a few back hand springs to her floor routine and did great at those too.
We did a lot of puzzles this month too. Something about Christmas makes me want to put puzzles together. If it is a Christmas puzzle even better! Matthew was my most frequent helper but everyone joined me at some point for a bit. We would watch a Christmas show, or listen to Christmas music and drink some hot chocolate while we puzzled away.
Allison had a Christmas concert for orchestra. She did great. I had a hard time getting a picture of her because she was behind another kid but it was a well done concert and they sounded great. Her favorite part was going to dinner with Caylin afterwards.
My Grandma had Thanksgiving with her family that visited her and came to her for Thanksgiving in Utah. She has some good days and bad days and can’t do very much anymore. She was having a good day on Thanksgiving and she told her son Jared she wanted to go outside on a walk and have some fun. He obliged her. Even when she hurts a lot and is 89 years old she still has a great sense of humor and loves being around her family as much as possible.
It has been a few years since we had the entire family together for Ryan’s side of the family. It happened at Thanksgiving! The Bourne’s made it from Idaho, the Lee’s arrived from Texas, and the Ross and Ryan Terry’s made the trek across town and down the street.
Rhonda had a few weeks to recover from chemo before everyone arrived. She was feeling a little bit better. It was a happy vibe that we were all together and she was healthy and done with cancer.
We were able to get the traditional mani/pedi trip in for the moms that wanted to go. Some of our daughters are now old enough to want to join us. It is getting hard to find a salon that can take us all at the same time!
There were many games played, feasts made and devoured, visiting and movie watching in abundance. The grandkids all loved seeing each other again and picked up right where they left off. That is the wonderful thing about cousins. A group of us went to see the new Disney movie Encanto together and another group of us went to iFly indoor skydiving. Lauren and I took turns playing the piano a lot. The picture of her playing and everyone on their device listening soon became everyone napping.
Grandma and Grandpa wanted a family picture of everyone so we made it happen. Lauren was our photographer. The other nine adults were her helper and advice givers. She tolerated us pretty well. I think we got some good pictures too.
It was a fun, happy, successful Terry Family Thanksgiving!
In an earlier post, I eluded to something that I was going to do for myself for my 40th birthday. Well, I did it! A lady at work mentioned she was getting her eyebrows done-microblading. I was talking with her about it and decided that I wanted to get mine done as well. So I had a consult and booked the appointment. I basically got a tattoo on my face!
Ryan happened to call me on my way home from the consult appointment and asked me what I was doing. I told him I had just gotten a consult for a tattoo…on my face. After a pause he asked me if I was serious and when I told him I was he said, “Well, this is the first I am hearing about this so why don’t you wait a month or so to make sure it is really something you want to do.” I laughed and told him that it was microblading for my eyebrows and explained what that was. He was relieved to know I wasn’t having a tear drop or the kids names put across my forehead. LOL!
I had my appointment and got it done a few weeks ago. They are still changing a little bit color-wise. It takes about 4 weeks for them to heal completely. Then I go in and have a touch up appointment and get any little spots fixed that I need. It took a little getting used to, I was a little nervous because the first two weeks they are really dark and seemed pretty harsh but I am really liking them now. They are supposed to last 1-3 years. Then I would need to get them redone because they fade.
I saw a patient at work the other day that got a lip tattoo when she was 18 that was only supposed to last 6 months (it said bitch👀😂🤦♀️) . When I met her it had been 20+ years! I am really glad I like them in case they end up being permanent! I will have fancy eyebrows when I am 90.
Here it the before and after that the person who did them took. You can see the completely healed after pics in any future pictures of myself!
Emi turned nine this month! Nine years since that little girl joined us two weeks early and and scared me to death by not making a peep when she was born. Once the doctors were convinced she was ok just content then gave her to me and she snuggled right back into a ball on my tummy like she had been for the last nine months but now was in the outside world.
She is a fun, joyful girl. She loves to play, work is always for later. She has been asking for a horse for the past few months. I told her that she wouldn’t be getting a horse for her birthday but she could pick a fun non-living present and still have a great birthday. She said, “That’s fine, I’ll just ask Santa for the horse next month for Christmas.” 🤦♀️
She voted to have spaghetti and three kinds of ice cream for her birthday dinner. She had a horse riding lesson the day of her birthday which couldn’t have worked out better. After her lesson Reese came home with us and ate dinner and they played the rest of the evening.
She decided to have a sleep over with a few of her friends to celebrate that weekend. There was six girls total including Emilee. Two of them stayed late instead of sleeping over and it felt like no less than 10 girls at all times. Emilee thought it was a fun successful party which is what counts. Grandma Terry let her pick a few crafts that the girls could do. She had a painting project, an ornament project and a diamond dots project. They were all a big hit. They had pizza for dinner and watched Space Jam while eating as much popcorn as they could. Emilee voted for ice cream only instead of cake and wanted one candle. After all that they opened presents and then played games and entertained themselves until 12:30 in the morning. I know because I was in the next room waiting for them to fall asleep. The next morning while we ate pancakes they talked about how awesome it was that they stayed up all night long.
Yes, those are my Christmas decorations in the background of the pictures. We needed some Christmas early this year!
The yearly race between Matthew and Ryan usually is on Matthew’s birthday. This year was delayed a few weeks due to one or the other of them not being in the optimal health they wanted to be in to participate in the race. Finally they both had a day with no tweaked muscles, lingering coughs, enough sleep the night before, and their lucky pair of socks were clean. Their excuses were a little ridiculous.
There was a bit of an upset this year. They had the first race and Matthew won. Uncle Ross happened to be filming them at the start and after Matthew’s celebration at winning showed that Matthew had false started and the race was thrown out.
They waited a few minutes until both agreed they could expend the full amount of energy needed for a second race. With explanations of what a false start was and was not still going between them they lined up again for the race that the winner gets a full year of bragging rights as the fastest Terry.
The second race ended with a photo finish. Ryan was half a step ahead and his knee crossed the line first. Matthew was a semi- gracious loser and told him to enjoy his last year of beating him because it won’t happen again. I don’t have the video Ross had of their start, I did see it though and it was a false start.
We started November off by going to a Chief’s football game. They had a Monday night home game so we got tickets and went and had fun. It was my first professional football game. The environment is a little rough at football games so we didn’t take the girls. We met Ross and Ethan and Steve and a few other people there and did some tail gating with Q39 BBQ. The weather was pretty cold but the rain and wind stopped so it wasn’t to bad. They started the game with a team of paratroopers landing on the field. It was pretty awesome.
A friend at church sent me this picture of Matthew and his buddies at church. They are a good group of kids and have a lot of fun together.
This is a picture of Ryan and Sherrie from Austin’s wedding that he went to in August.
Emilee had her 3rd grade musical at school. They sang pirate songs. Emilee requested to not have a speaking part. She was also insistent that she was not going to dress up. We tried a few different times to convince her to wear even just an eye patch but she wouldn’t budge. She was excited to sing the songs just not feeling the dressing up part I guess.
Allison had her first 6th grade orchestra concert. She was thrilled that the whole family and Grandma and Grandpa Terry came to watch her. She started playing the cello this year. She is picking it up pretty well and has a lot of fun in orchestra. She likes being and “Orch Dork” as they all call themselves.
Matthew cut his chin open while he was wrestling with some friends. The mom called and told me she thought he would need stitches. We called a friend who is an oral surgeon and asked him if he could stitch him up for us instead of going to an ER at 10pm at night. He is an awesome friend and had us meet him at his office. He numbed Matthew up and 9 stitches later we were done and back at home in less time then it would have taken to fill out the paperwork at the ER.
Several years after we were married, Ryan asked me why I thought it was so funny to mismatch his socks all the time. I had no idea what he was talking about. Apparently, I am not good at matching white socks together and more often then not, I put wrong socks together. Over the years I have tried to work on this issue but haven’t had a huge improvement according to Ryan. It is funny. I always think I matched them all correctly but every now and then he shows me the pair he pulls out and they are clearly not a match. I fold socks last so maybe I am just done with laundry by the time I get to them. The other day Ryan was out of town for work and sent me a picture of the socks he put on that morning at the hotel. HAHA! I guess general color was my only criteria when I was folding socks last week! My sock matching disability has spread beyond just white socks.
All of us took turns passing a cold around that took a few days to recover from. Emilee is always cuddly but even more so when she is sick and dad loves it when he gets extra Emilee snuggling time. He was reading a book to her to help her rest and she fell asleep.
Allison didn’t make it because she was at gymnastics but for the last activity of the year, the primary activity girls went to Main Event and went bowling together. Emilee was the bowler to beat!
We had another successful Halloween at our house this year. As our usual plans we had the McDonald’s over. Our cousins joined us this year too. Ryan made the witch’s brew, I picked up pizzas the day before from Papa Murphy’s. I went rogue and got a hamburger pizza instead of our usual cheese. It didn’t go over well. Hamburgers are good, hamburger pizza is not. It was a good thing we had trick or treating to distract us.
We had a slow, medium, and fast group again. Our fast group is old enough to go ahead on their own. The dads keep track of the medium speed group and the moms stay with the slowest group. It was a fun evening with family and friends.
I came home the other day and the kids were all carving their pumpkins. They had a great time and the pumpkins all looked good. We put them out on the porch.
It was nice they all had fun and even nicer they did it all on their own and I didn’t have to degut any pumpkins. The only issue is there was still two weeks until Halloween when they carved them. I have been told, ‘Don’t you dare throw our Halloween pumpkins away before Halloween!” I already have one mark against me for having ‘cutesy’ Halloween decorations instead of ‘make you scream when you see it creepy grotesque’ ones. So I have agreed to let them continue to mold and decay into a pile of mush (with the caveat that they have to move them to the trash themselves the day after Halloween and clean up any mess left behind) but I will also take photographs to remind them why we wait until right before Halloween to carve the pumpkins.
The best Sunday program of the year is coming up in our ward next week! The Primary Program. Ryan and I are helping. It is Allison’s last program before she goes to young women. Emilee still has a few years to go. Matthew will be watching us from the audience. The girls and I took a picture while we were practicing.
When we were in Florida, I believe it was the Cazier family that bought some candy corn. When they were trying to open the bag up my mom made the comment that she didn’t know people bought candy corn on purpose. She thought it was just crap candy people handed out at Halloween and in turn everyone threw it away once they got home.
This of course started a debate among us all as to if we liked or didn’t like candy corns. I fall on the side of it is crap candy, but if I remember right it was about a little more than half of us that eat them on purpose and sometimes even spend their own money on them. To each there own!
Today in ward council the bishop had a bag of candy corn he had bought for his daughter at her request. She tried one and said he could have them back. In her defense these particular candy corns were worse than normal ones. See for yourself below. Disgusting.
Matthew was able to successfully turn 15 this month. We were in Florida for his actual birthday and per his desires he went fishing in the ocean with his dad for his birthday. They were supposed to wake up at 5am to make it to the place they needed to meet their fishing guide by 7am. Ryan happened to wake up and check the time at 6:45 am. He turned his alarm off in his sleep instead of waking up. They were a little late.
Despite that, they both had a great time-even Ryan who does not like fishing. That trip was our gift to him. He also got some fishing supplies and money to buy fishing things from grandparents and siblings.
Allison literally gave him ‘his very own underwear’ which is featured in the picture above. It had his already owned underwear in it.
My parents got a picture package for everyone at the Space Center. We weren’t always together but here are the ones that we got. Having fun just floating around we have the French, Cazier, Jones and Terry Families.
Those of us that got serious with our training and became official astronauts are featured below.
It was time for our bi-annual Jones reunion. When it is my families year to do Christmas together we plan a Summer trip together instead. The travel is easier, schedules are a little easier, weather is better, and then we can enjoy Christmas in our own homes. This year we were a little late and ended up doing our trip in October over my kids Fall Break. Matthew and even Allison have reached the point that missing school is a little bigger deal and harder to get caught up and keep grades up.
We did a repeat trip to Orlando Florida. We stayed at our usual spot- a house in the Champions Gate sub division. It is a perfect location to get to pretty much any of the big Orlando attractions. There is a big club house with a pool and activities, and we can get a house with 2-9 bedrooms depending on the number of people we have and the house has its own pool too. That is the best part. The kids can swim as much as they want. John and Rachel’s family couldn’t join us this year so it was my parents and the three girls and their families. We got a 9 bedroom house. I think some kids slept in a different room every night. I thought it was cool that a lot of the rooms had a Disney theme too. Ours was the Mickey room. There was a Star Wars and Frozen room too. Most of the kids stayed in a room full of bunk beds. That was pretty fun for them. Emilee packed all the essentials she needed for her trip herself as you can see.
Monday was day one. Arrival day. The French’s and my mom drove and my dad came late the next day. A week prior to our departure, Kenny sent everyone the info to get checked into the house. Including a passphrase “The Russian Bear Hunts at Midnight” to tell the security guard to let you enter. Sherri drove with my mom and when they got to the gate my mom pulled out a paper with the address and rental house info- including the passphrase Kenny had sent. Sherri started laughing and told my mom it was a joke. I told her I will forever hold a grudge at her for not letting mom say it and seeing what the guard did. DeAnna and her family flew and got there in the evening. We also flew. Our flight was delayed a little bit (Southwest tried to cover up a strike by their pilots- saying it was weather that canceled thousands of their flights- it was actually them protesting being forced to get the COVID vaccine against their will per the government mandate) we thought we might have to drive (and I would have done it without to much complaining because I agree with the pilots that they-or anyone- should not be forced into getting a vaccine they don’t want) but our flight ended up going through ok and we made it just a few hours later. We got our rental car, bought some groceries, and headed to the house to start a fun week.
Day two was bright and warm and sunny. After sleeping in and having a late breakfast of a ridiculous amount of Reese’s Puffs we all headed to the beach. That is the one down side to Orlando-it lacks beautiful Florida beaches. We traveled to Honeymoon Beach and spent the day there. Most of us were satisfied with the number of shells to collect, the warm water to play in, the nice sand castle building area, and the beach to lay on and take a nap. Matthew was a little disappointed in the lack of waves big enough to body surf in but he still got to go to the beach in Florida. We had a fun day but I didn’t take any pictures. I was one of the people snoozing on the beach working on my tan. The drive to and from the beach helped us get a lot of our license plate states found. I downloaded an app to help us keep track of the states we found. By the end of our week in Florida we had found 33/50 states. After the beach we all headed home, showered and ate dinner together then spent the evening playing games, working on a puzzle, or swimming in the pool on the patio.
Day three started slightly earlier then the previous day. Last time we were in Florida for a reunion we all went to Magic Kingdom together. DeAnna’s family had never been to Hollywood Studios, so we went to that park this time. Next to Magic Kingdom, it is my favorite. I like the option of lots of shows to watch, not all rides. We all arrived and went our own ways and met throughout the day. Toy Story Mania is still our families favorite ride. We did it a few times. The new attraction was the Star wars rides and areas. They had canceled the virtual que the week before we went and there were no fast passes for it. That meant if we wanted to do it, we had to wait in line for 2-3 hours. We decided to do it. It was a long brutal process. We bought 5 dollar Star Wars Cokes for everyone about half way through to boost moral. In the end everyone said it was totally worth it (even Emilee who declared no less than a dozen times that is wasn’t worth it and this was the most ridiculous this she had done in her whole entire life) and it was their favorite ride/experience of the day. I was worried we would run out of time to do the other things but we still got to do and see everything we planned on. Emilee preferred the shows, she is not a fan of rides (might have something to do with riding the Mamba at age 5 at World’s of Fun) but she liked Toy Story and Star Wars. Matthew and I did the single rider line for few things and got on rides in 5 minutes instead of an hour. He said he has graduated to Universal Studios level rides but had a fun time with us. Allison was game for pretty much anything. She got a Mickey Mouse ice cream sandwich and everything else was icing on the cake after that. It might be the last time we all go to Disney as a family before Matthew is moving out so it was a fun day. It was pretty late when we got home. People went to bed or played a game and did a puzzle while we visited about our day.
Day 4. We used this as a recuperating day. Everyone slept in and had a lazy morning. The kids swam in the pool and played the many games that the garage was equipped with (ping pong, air hockey, checkers, and basketball). Matthew convinced his dad to get him a fishing pole. He had tried to bring his own but it wouldn’t fit. We thought there would be rentals but there wasn’t. So with his 19.99 Walmart fishing pole in hand uncle Kenny drove him over to the neighborhood gold course where he had seen a body of water he wanted to fish in. About thirty minutes later he had walked back to the house. There was an alligator in the water that didn’t like him fishing for his food. Every time Matthew cast, the alligator would start moving towards Matthew. He moved several times but when it kept happening he decided to call it a day. After lunch we moved to the club house pool. They had a few big swimming areas, a splash pad, a slide, and a lazy river that we all ended up floating around together in at some point. One of my favorite pictures is the one of John and Joseph getting on the tube and then one lap later they are both passed out asleep along the side. We got several hours of good swimming in. My pictures aren’t the greatest but considering my camera was wet and I took them floating in a tube I decided to include them anyways. The only person I missed was Ryan.
When we finished at the club house we went back to clean up. All the adults plus KJ went to dinner at Longhorn Steak House. The kids all stayed at the house and watched Transylvania II together while eating pizza, popcorn, candy and whatever else they to eat. Matthew told me later that Emilee and Allison got in a fight and caused quite a scene. There younger cousins gave them some advice on how to behave better. It included apologizing but still having consequences from Nathan and Aubrey told them to take their noise level down to ZERO while demonstrating with her fingers pinched together. They are a fun group of nieces and nephews. I talked with all of them and had a good conversation. Even though Joseph told me repeatedly he didn’t want to be my friend and I could not give him a fist bump he was willing to have a pillow fight with me when he realized I would help him ward off Peter. KJ is the happiest baby ever. He loves to snuggle and will let anyone hold him. We were all constantly passing him around trying to have our turn holding him.
Day five most of us headed off to the Kennedy Space Center. It was Matthew’s birthday and he had been begging to go fishing in the ocean for his present so Ryan and Matthew went on a half day fishing trip and then met the rest of us at the Space Center. The fish were biting. They caught 30-40 fish between the two of them, including a hammer head shark, a puffer fish, a tarpin, and several others I can’t remember now. None of them were huge but they had a blast together.
Back at the Space Station we were having a great time too. Allison was not to excited about going-she thought it would be boring-she quickly changed her mind once we got there though. Everyone loved seeing the big space ships and rockets and touching the moon rock and asteroids, watching videos about them. We took a bus(the sweetest bus I have ever been on) out to the Atlantis Space shuttle and saw the building they assemble the space ships in on the way. The size of the building is hard to even comprehend. They said the Roman Colosseum would fit on the roof with plenty of room to spare around it. The flag on the side took 600 gallons of paint. Everything we saw was just massive. We did a simulation of a take off in a rocket. They had a mock up of the space station up in space they could crawl through. There was tons to see and do. It was a pretty cool day.
When the Space Center closed we headed home for the evening. It was our last night so we ate whatever food was left and played games. When the kids were in bed minus Matthew we had our traditional white elephant party. Some of the top mentions were fart spray, rubber chickens to shoot at people like rubber bands, a tortilla blanket, and a mask with a face on it that had snot running down it. It was a fun last night. The week went by to fast. The next morning we headed to the airport. They forgot to send our luggage on the plane so we had to wait for it to arrive later that evening but other wise we arrived home without much excitement. We had the rest of the weekend to rest. It is always a fun week when we get together. I am already looking forward to the next time.
Time seems to be flying by at a rapid pace again. September and October seemed to go by so fast.
Matthew had a busy month. When I was looking at the picture to add to this post I should have titled it Matthew’s busy September. Everyone was busy and had things going on. I guess we just photographed more of Matthew’s.
Matthew crammed in as much baseball as he could in September and October. The weather was pretty cooperative. He is on the same team but there were a lot of changes and the new group of boys is pretty fun to watch. They all mix well together.
Allison came up with another creative way to get her energy out. This is a video she sent me the other day.
We went to several High School Football games this past month too. Some at our school, some to watch other kids we know play for their school. One of those was Homecoming. Matthew and Campbell took pictures together before the game, then they changed and met their friends at the game. After the game they changed again (Matthew in the back of our car) and a group of them went to the dance together.
Next on Matthew’s list was a Temple trip and a camping trip with the Young Men in our ward. They went to a lake and did some swimming, biking, hiking, fishing, and eating smore’s. Matthew and his friend Carter are really into fishing now. They try and go at least once a week. I’m glad he has a fun hobby to do with a good buddy.
Emilee tried volleyball this year, and we are very happy to say that she loved it! She looked forward to practices, we didn’t have to drag her and she was excited enough about her games that she kept track of them herself. I am very glad we found a new talent for her to develop. Her dad is over the moon excited. She has lost two pairs of knee pads already but if she keeps enjoying it I can get her another pair.
https://youtu.be/TbLdsjJJlZw?list=PLBwkO01uWtw9DJu2WA-l0-1CZ6EuoK5Kl
For my birthday this year everyone was sick or quarantining in case they got sick. That was not the original plan but that is what happened. So we put a little pin in my birthday and bumped it out a week and a half until everyone was better. Ryan cooked me many yummy meals- spaghetti and meatballs, steak, and my favorite chocolate layered cream cheese cake. Ryan remembered to cook the crust this year. Allison made me a cute birthday sign and the kids got me a sweet gift basket with lots of fun surprises in it.
Ryan decided to surprise me for my birthday with a trip to Chicago. He confirmed my availability without setting of any suspicion. Then he booked our hotel and flights. He even checked my email and filed the flight information into another folder so I wouldn’t see the confirmation. He was pretty proud of himself and I had no idea. Unfortunately, he was unable to out think all of the Google software data gathering (straight up snooping) even though he hid the emails, my calendar found them and the next time I checked my calendar a little message popped up asking me if I wanted to add my flight to Chicago to the calendar. I tried to act like I didn’t know but when Ryan straight up asked me if I knew I told him my calendar betrayed him.
As I said we ended up having to postpone the trip a bit but shortly after my birthday, we flew to Chicago and spent a long weekend there. We had a fun time with each other. We stayed at the Palmer Hotel. When we got there we decided to go to the Magic Show that the hotel is apparently famous for and has been showing since the 80’s. It was pretty fun. I love stuff like that. During the day we toured the city by foot, subway, or boat. In the evenings we went to shows. We ended up doing two different magic shows, a comedy show, and an old timey piano bar that played requests. The atmosphere was early 1900’s but the music was modern. In the mornings we slept in as long as we wanted. Glorious. It was a great weekend and I’m glad we squeezed it in because it is trade show season for Ryan at work now and since we have been back it seems like I haven’t seen him for a few weeks. We pass each other on the way to work or taking the kids somewhere, one of us is asleep before the other gets home and one of us is at work or taking Matthew to seminary before the other one is awake.
Well, I crossed into the next decade of my life! It is a little weird. I remember my Grandma June in her 40’s. I remember my mom’s 40th birthday, several of my aunts. For a while as a kid, all adults were in their 40’s. Now I am. So far when I have entered a new decade it hasn’t bothered me. It bothers Ryan and he is two years older so maybe I have a few years to prepare myself because he does it first.
There was a bit of a minor mid life crisis for Ryan. It is part of the reason he now drives a Tesla. I think I feel it a little bit too. It is hard to explain. I am not panicking about my age but I feel like I have moved into a different stage of my life. I find myself thinking and considering things differently then I used to. I’ve noticed it enough in myself to say that there is definitely something to a ‘mid life crisis’. It didn’t happen over night of course, I feel like the past year or two I noticed a few subtle shifts and changes in myself. Here are some of my thoughts as a 40 for one month year old.
Emotionally and socially I have become more comfortable with myself and settled more into knowing what I am and want. I definitely feel plenty comfortable cutting out the crap and negativity I don’t want in my life. I am a people pleaser and I still like to please people but I am much better at not expensing my desires and wants ALL the time. My confidence has increased, would be a good way to say it in one sentence. I have solid friendships that are into their second decade. For me this is quite a feat since until 2008 I moved a minimum of every 2 years my whole life. I can be social or be alone-by myself or in a group. I am comfortable with myself and I know more of what I want and don’t want to spend my time doing and who I want to spend that time with.
I am no longer the young person in the room in anyone’s opinion. I have enough life experience to not be ‘just a baby’ or ‘just getting started’ or whatever else other people say. Instead people ask me how I did it when I was younger. In my head I’m thinking, “When did I not become younger?” I know enough to know I don’t know it all or even very much. I realize all the things ‘I will get to someday’ are going to be off the table at some point instead of forever available. Youth and health are not a given and guaranteed permanence. When I see someone the age of 30 they look young, 25 year old’s barely look like adults and 18 or younger look like a baby.
Physically my hair, skin, nails, and a dozen other things have changed a bit at some point in the last few years. I get a glimpse of what ‘old’ people mean when they say ‘my (fill in the blank) isn’t like it used to be’. Instead of my hair just being healthy and shiny, I have to condition it more or pick a new style because it is thinning. Instead of washing my face and throwing on a little moisturizer I have to use a toners and serums and twenty other products to help maintain, shape, elasticity, smoothness and firmness and whatever other properties my skin maintained on it own until now. Moisturizer is now bought in bulk. It is like magic that you start noticing aches and pains when you exercise…or don’t exercise.
I can see how these things and more cause someone to want to do a dramatic change around this time in their life, whether it is plastic surgery, or a trip, or buying something extravagant. I get it. Maybe in five or ten years my thoughts and opinions will change-actually I am sure they will but for now my plan in to live and enjoy my confident 40 self and age naturally and gracefully with the aid of topical creams. 😂
As I mentioned earlier, Ryan’s mid life crisis manifested as a new car. Mine will be manifesting itself in 25 days and I am VERY excited! Stay tuned!
After almost ten years with my van, I decided it was time to get a car with a few less miles and years on it. For the past year I have been researching and keeping my eye out on what I might want. I haven’t been able to decide if I wanted to get another van or an SUV.
Hands down a van is the best family car out there. There isn’t an SUV out there that can compare to the amount of people and luggage space plus comfort that a van can. The sliding doors on a van alone are worth their weight in gold. SUV’s are going to be good for people hauling or stuff hauling-not both. The “mid size” SUV’s are basically a tall car, which is fine but I need something a little bigger still. That narrowed my search down quite a bit right there. Van, or three row SUV. I don’t want a suburban or the huge SUV’s either. I don’t want to feel like I am driving a tank. That narrowed my field even more. There were really only 3-4 SUV’s that fit my criteria. One of those was a Tesla which of course Ryan was promoting. It had a third row but when I sat in it myself it seemed like a pretty liberal description to call it a third row. I am only 5′ 5″ and my knees were under my eye lobes. The lifting side doors while they sound cool, were not as cool in functionality. To finish narrowing it down I picked based on reviews, price, and looks. It left me with the choice of a new Honda Odyssey van, or a Honda Pilot SUV.
After a few more months of debating, I ended up going with the Pilot. If my kids were younger I would have gone for the van again, but since they are bigger they can get in and out on their own and sadly, it won’t be to many more years before they start driving themselves places or going on missions, or college. It was a little weird while I learned all the new buttons and things for a week but I have now adjusted and am comfy and loving my new car.
We didn’t trade the van it. We decided to sell it on our own and get twice what they were offering us for it at the dealership. We debated making it Matthew’s car but I would rather find him something a little smaller. So it hung out in our drive way for a week or two while we decided what to do with it. This past Friday I caught up on my other things and getting the van ready to sell moved to the top of my list. Coincidentally my neighborhood was having their annual Fall garage sale weekend. I decided that since we would have a lot of people driving through the neighborhood I would put a sign on it and see if I could sell it that way before I put it online. I cleaned it out, took it to vacuum and wash it and put the signs on it. On my way home from washing it, I decided to see if Roger and Rhonda would mind if I parked it in their driveway instead of mine for the weekend because they live on the street that leads into the neighborhood. I parked it in the drive way and went inside to ask. We were chatting and less than 5 minutes after I arrived someone rang the door bell. Roger said he didn’t know who it would be and I said it was someone wanting to by my van. It was! They asked to look at it, drove it around, and then said they would buy it! They left to get a cashiers check and two hours later I met them at the house again and they drove off into the sunset with it.
I was pretty excited. I thought it would take a little more effort and work to sell it but it didn’t. I wouldn’t even say I cleaned it all the way. It was neat, but I wouldn’t call it clean until I had worked on it a few more hours. Instead of that, it was sold in about 5 minutes.
Later that night I had a similar experience like I did when I donated my blue rocking chair. I didn’t cry but I had some nostalgia while I remembered all the trips and things we did together as a family in the van. It handled a lot from us. It took us all around KC, Florida, Alabama, Utah, Idaho, Colorado, Tennessee, South Dakota, Nebraska, some of those places many times and others I don’t even remember. We sang hundreds of songs, played games, caught up on our days, ran errands, watched Christmas lights, plowed through snow, splashed through huge puddles. It handled our dirt, food, crayons, markers, vomit, spilled milk, soda, water, slime, pee, poopy diapers. It had countless names, words, hearts, stick figures and boogers smeared on the windows. It was a great little van. It never broke down on us. The alarm system was a bit touchy. I had to DRIVE home from a baseball practice once with the horn honking none stop because it didn’t like that I unlocked it with a key instead of the key fob. Much to all of our embarrassment it honked over and over none stop until I got home and found said key fob. Despite my best efforts sometimes it only locked me out of it 1-2 times. It was a good little van. I sold it so fast I didn’t even think to take a final picture of it but I will have fond memories of my black Honda van.
Ryan and Allison planted a full salad/salsa garden this year. The salad stuff didn’t do to great, we got a little lettuce but it was kind of bitter. About mid summer the salsa stuff started growing. The first time they made it I called it our $100 salsa. It has continued to produce and they have made lots of salsa, even canned some to save for later. Our tomatoes are still going strong, they are debating canning some spaghetti sauce as well. We have definitely made at least our moneys worth that it took to plant the garden if not more from all the stuff. It is a nice change for us.
A few months ago I took Emilee and her friend to my co-workers hobby farm. She had a great time and has been begging to go back ever since. Allison wasn’t able to go and she wanted to go too. Sandi had added a few more types of animals and was excited to have the girls come see them. We made it out to see the farm again a few Saturday’s ago.
Ryan went to his half brother Austin’s wedding out in Utah in August. The kids had already started school and it was in the middle of the week so he was the only one who ended up going. He had a fun time getting to know everyone more. After the wedding festivities he did a mini man trip in the mountains with his buddies Sam and Mike. They did lots of manly things together like ATV’s and shooting. He did not get any pictures of the reception for me though.
Ryan and I found ourselves at Home Depot a little while ago. We had gone for one thing but decided to get a few fence pickets while we were there because we have a few broken ones. We weren’t positive on the size and shape so we texted Matthew and told him to send us a picture of THE FENCE. He sent us this picture.
Kids his age use an app on their phones called Snap Chat. They send pictures of what they are doing to each other and they usually look pretty much like this. Half of their face is in the picture and the back ground of where they are. I rolled my eyes and told him I didn’t need a social media head shot, I needed to know how tall the fence was. He wrote back that was the reason he put himself in the picture…for perspective. 😂😂🤦♀️
Matthew and Emilee came down with COVID the first week of September. They both recovered pretty quick but were down in bed for a few days. They still had to stay home and mostly in there rooms for a few days after they were feeling better. I helped Emilee brush her hair one day-which she hates. I told her we could do some silly pictures while we did it so it would be more fun. She didn’t seem to love it that much.
Well, unlike last year school started one the original day it was supposed to. That was a plus. To make a long story short our school district said it was up to parents if their kids wore masks or not. I think that is a great idea because 1-they are my kids and I should be the one making decisions for them. 2- there is no mask mandate anywhere in our entire county right now. 3-Despite the news and politicians making it look like people are dropping dead in the streets and hospitals are overwhelmed with COVID patients, its not. One hospital (ironically Children’s Mercy) has made a public post TWICE saying they are not full and have very few COVID patients. However, the Johnson County Board of County Commissioners decided they know better (despite ZERO children’s deaths in our county and very low infection rates for children since all this started in March 2020) and made an order requiring all K-6th grade students to wear a mask. Our school board found a way around it by providing a mask exemption form for parents and/or doctors to sign but it has caused quite a tizzy. It is all kinds of crazy. The world and people are getting crazier everyday. But my kids are back in school, mine have the option to wear a mask ONLY if they want and unlike the other districts around us they did not have to define their sexuality and declare their pronouns the first day of school. 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
Emilee is in 3rd Grade. She has the same teacher Allison had in 3rd grade but her name is different because she got married. Mrs. Dechant. She is a great teacher and even though Emilee isn’t a huge fan of school I hope she will have a good year. I need to work on raising my expectations for her and helping her out of the “youngest child please do everything for me” funk.
Allison is in 6th grade and is ready to conquer it in a blaze of glory. There is a lot of cello players this year and they tried to persuade some kids to switch but she wouldn’t budge. She has been waiting a year to get to learn to play the cello and be an “Orch Dork”. She has a lot of classes with her friends and has organized and re-organized her locker multiple times a day since school started three days ago. Her friends and her make towel tents for each other to change in for PE and she can get seconds at lunch if she wants. Other than her mom making her ride the bus instead of personally delivering her to the front of the school each morning, she is loving life. If Allison is happy, the rest of us are even more happy. Doing the work won’t be a problem for her. Staying on top of things herself and being responsible will be her mountain to over come. She can do it!
Matthew started 9th grade this year, making it our first of many years to have a kid in each school. He got the classes he wanted but doesn’t have any close friends in any of them. He sees his besties in the hall and in a few weeks at lunch when they switch to the open hour lunch. He is a little bummed about that but his dad and I are encouraging him to meet new people. Good new people. So far he has a very good track record of picking friends that are good people and steering clear of the ones that aren’t as nice. He is starting to get some height going so that is exciting for him and he is hoping to bulk up a bit with weights as a class this year. His teenage laziness is effecting his motivation levels for school but he has always been good at staying up with assignments and managing it on his own. He told me he was looking forward to his retirement the other day. I rolled my eyes and told him to enjoy the phase he is at in life now. He takes drivers education soon and as soon as he is 15 he can drive by himself in a car to and from school if needed. He does have the slight problem of not having a car yet. They school had a gas leak 20 minutes after it started on the first day and everyone had to evacuate for an hour and a half but since then it has been pretty low key at the high school.
As the end of Summer approached we did our usual back to school shopping and registering and getting ready to start back into the routine of school. Ryan has been toying with the idea of getting some kind of property by a lake. His brother and him have been talking about it for the past year or two and they are trying to convince their dad to join them. Matthew was still on his high from boating for the first time this Summer at High Adventure. When August arrived he doubled his efforts and focused his ideas and requests to do it again on Ryan. Between that and a client of Ryan’s offering to let us use a time share of his we decided to squish in one more fun Summer trip before school started. We invited our cousins and Grandpa Terry even came down for a day and played with us.
We went to Branson Missouri and Table Rock Lake. Branson is very similar to Gatlinburg Tennessee. There is a touristy main street area with lots of fun shops and museums and things to do. Gatlinburg is more Dolly Parton themed, Branson seemed more Elvis Presley. A lot of the places are in both locations, one of them being the Titanic Museum. We didn’t have the chance to go to it when we were in Gatlinburg so I made it a must for Branson. My children rushed me through it a little faster then I would have gone on my own but it was a very interesting museum.
The place we stayed was basically a two bedroom apartment. The adults each took a room and we had air mattresses all over the place for the kids to sleep on. Roger just came up for one day and didn’t stay the night because Rhonda wasn’t up for traveling and he didn’t want to leave her alone. We played games and ate dinner and checked out the pool the day we arrived. The next morning was our boating day. I went boating a lot when I was growing up. My grandparents had a cabin and boat and we spent many weekends playing at the lake. We rented a pontoon boat that all 11 of us could ride on at the same time and did the tube, knee board, and wake board. I’ll tell you what. It was pretty awesome to show up and have a boat already in the water, fully fueled and ready to go with any toys we needed on board. I did the math roughly in my head and for how often our family would likely go boating if we made it a thing in the Summer it is well worth it to rent verses buy our own boat. I’ve tried to get Ryan to go boating several times in the past and he said he wasn’t interested and wasn’t a boat person. About 30 minutes into our day he came over and told me he loved it and we need to do it more often.
It was a great day. We packed a few coolers of food and drinks and we were on the boat from 10-6pm and didn’t get tired or bored once. Everyone had a great time. Everyone took a turn on the tube, some of us tried a few other things. We found a little cove around lunch time and thru the anchor and the lilly pad out and ate lunch and swam for an hour or two. Grandpa even got on the paddle board and did a flip off the boat with the kids. The lake is really nice, the water is pretty clean for a lake (I think because it is mostly rock on the bottom not mud) and the water is perfect temperature. Ross, Grandpa and Ryan were all pretty comfortable driving the boat by the end of the day. We all want to do it again and more often. The only bummer is that it is a three hour drive to get there from our house.
After we got back to our place that night everyone took a quick shower and then headed to Lambert’s for dinner. They have home style country food and they throw the rolls at you whenever you want one. The kids really liked it. Sherrie and Dave and Genevieve and Robert and their son Eric were close to Branson so they met us there for dinner. Roger and I stopped by to say hi. He met Sherrie for the first time. (It went well 😊) We didn’t stay long, he wanted to get home to Rhonda and I had to work the next day so we went home while everyone else ate.
The next day everyone that stayed went to Silver Dollar City, which is an amusement park. It was another fun and successful day. There were rides and food to please all the people. There were different level of thrill seekers that could pair up and have fun together. After a full day at the park, they played games and played one more night at the time share. The next morning they headed home.
It was a pretty fun, basically spontaneous, farewell to Summer trip. We have already talked about making it our Summer kick off next year too. Ross and Lauren’s kids started school the day after they got back. Our kids still had a week- the final count down to back to school begins!
We packed in a lot of fun activities the last few weeks of Summer.
First up was all my children returning home from their visits to se Grandma and Grandpa Jones. They were all happy to see each other and be home together again. It took them about 5 seconds to remember how to push each others buttons though. 🤦♀️ I put a few of the pictures grandma and grandpa sent from their adventure in an earlier post but here are a few more they sent after I wrote that.
Ryan and I went to the Garth Brooks concert with some friends and a couple people from his work. It was the second time we have seen him. It was his first concert since COVID and I think Garth was pretty pooped. He usually sings a lot longer than he did. It was still a great concert but between the ridiculous heat and not being used to it, it felt a little brief. Martina McBride made a surprise appearance. That was cool. It broke back memories of listening to her while we painted our house one Summer in Wyoming.
Our favorite neighbors through a party-Jeff and Margarita-so we attended that. We usually try and get out of neighborhood shin digs but we made an exception this time.
All the kids find school supplies that they really need for school when we go school shopping-that have nothing to do with school. Emilee tried to sell me on this, but settled for a picture instead.
We squeezed in our 3rd (maybe 4th) annual cousins trip to World’s of Fun and Ocean’s of Fun. We are now only one kid away from having no height restrictions on any of the rides. Jovee is 2 inches away from 100% ride qualification. We have it down pretty good now on what rides we have to hit for each person and then head over and spend the rest of the time at Ocean’s. We did come back for the evening to World’s this time. The kids liked the lights and music they turn on at night for the rides. The night ended with fireworks at closing time, that was fun too.
Emilee was really excited to get back to horse lessons when she got home from Grandma and Grandpa Jones’. I caught a picture of her taking a little break and stretching for a second during her lesson. Her and Reese are becoming quite the horse lovers. These two have been besties since birth and they were born two weeks apart. After their lesson one day Reese told Liz and I that they would skip their birthday presents and just get a horse for Christmas since it was ‘kind of a big present’. Emilee looked at Reese and said, “Well, maybe less birthday presents but not NO birthday presents!”
To help you remember, last year Allison brought me the plan for her birthday party she wanted to have when she turned 10 a few weeks before so I had plenty of time to prepare. Her original party spanned several days and two nights with several outings planned each day. After some negotiating we chiseled it down to a full 24 hour party with two outings, and just one night of sleeping over.
Usually we do a bigger party every other year and then keep it to a little smaller family party in between with a little bigger present. Allison came to me with her birthday brainstorming before getting to into her planning to determine what I considered a ‘big party’ to be. I believe she clarified by saying, “What is the number of days difference to you for a big party or a small party?” She is a funny girl. I told to keep it small and she would get some cash for her present. Nothing motivates Allison more than cash money.
She was happy to oblige and she helped me plan a pool party with a few friends. They ate pizza, opened presents, had a silly string fight, swam while listening to music, then everyone went home. Except for Leah, she spent the night. I think it was a very successful birthday for her. The next day we went to a few stores to release some of the heat from Allison’s pockets because she had money burning a hole in them. She added to her pop it and fidget collection that is getting pretty large.
We had a family dinner with local Terry’s on Sunday as well, which she loved. She is now 11. Going to be starting 6th grade and ready to take on the next year of her life. Happy Birthday Allison!
This girl keeps our life from being dull. Allison just started 6th grade this year and she is loving it. She is one step closer to being an adult which she has been looking forward to since she was 2 years old. Allison sees the world differently then the rest of us. She is creative and smart and keeps us on our toes.
At the end of last year we had her tested and moved to a more advanced Math class. Her brain loves math and she incorporates it into anything she does from planning her day to doing the dishes. She is learning the cello this year in orchestra. She is still doing gymnastics and moved up to level six this summer.
She can be one of the wittiest and funniest people I know, or one of the grumpiest. Whatever emotion she is feeling is level 10. There is no lower gear for her. For a while it seemed like her and I just butted heads constantly but I see more and more of Allison’s pleasant and reasonable side lately.
Allison loves a peanut butter and strawberry jam sandwich. She is my only kiddo that will eat a fruit or vegetable without any prompting-just because she likes them. She is amazing at making cookies and brownies. She usually keeps our house stocked with them, which is awesome. She has a tough outer shell but her inside is sweet and caring and very thoughtful. When we are driving around if we see any cat or dog without a leash on-even if it is most likely in it’s own yard-she wants to stop the car immediately and save it from whatever it needs to be ‘rescued’ from. She is very responsible when she wants to be. She takes care of Peanut her guinea pig everyday without any reminding. When we go out of town she arranges for someone to take care of him and leaves them copious amounts of notes on the proper way to feed him.
Crafting is another thing Allison enjoys doing. She is often decorating or creating some art for her room (or Emilee’s if it doesn’t meet her standards when she is done 😂) If I have something I need to make or get ready for Primary she is always willing to help and does a great job at it.
It is a treat to watch her grow up. Allison will be a mountain mover in whatever she decides to invest her time and energy in.
Matthew, Matthew, Matthew…what can I say about Matthew. I could say he is the spitting image of his dad is looks and personality. That would be the quickest way to describe him. Every year those two become more and more alike. Matthew tries to deny it sometimes but he can see the similarities. They are a fun pair and I love watching Ryan guide and teach a younger less mature version of himself. So do his parents.
Due to Matthew getting a little older and closer to adulthood we picked a few activities to help him develop his more mental, emotional, and spiritual side, disguised with lots of physical fun too of course. One of them was High Adventure with the boys at church, and the other was FSY (For Strength of Youth) a church camp with most of the boys from church. They were both very fun activities and very good for him. One was a little more obviously fun to him but he did enjoy both. High Adventure was boating, zip lining, and camping. He has told us no less than 5 times week since he has been home that we need to go boating, get a boat, or make friends that have boats. Along with our trip to the beach where he body surfed as much as possible he tells us we can move to a beach at any time and he will support it. Since those activities he has loved going to YM activities and a lot of the boys hang out together on the weekends.
He is almost 15 so he does have some teenage brain development going on but so far I still really enjoy him and his company. Along with the teenage stuff he also has his dad’s iron will, and it does show it self more and more often. Just. Like. Ryan. His voice takes on a certain tone, and his jaw sets and his eyes lock and there is nothing you can say or do at that point to change his mind. Ryan will look at me and say something about how ridiculous and stubborn he is being and I say, “Yes you are, I mean, yes he is.” Also like his dad when he gets like this he usually goes off somewhere and mulls over whatever the issue is privately then comes back and is more reasonable. Until then you will have more luck paddling upstream with a fork.
He really enjoys watching and playing sports. His favorites to play are basketball and baseball. He likes watching football too. Most of the time when Matthew is talking to you it is frustratingly quiet. The exception to this is when he is watching sports or playing video games. Then you can hear him anywhere.
Matthew is quiet and a little shy when you first meet him but once he feels comfortable he is a fun kid, he likes to joke and tease. We like to joke and tease him too. Being a teenager he is a little more concerned with appearance and ‘image’ than the average person. Ryan often likes to get photo evidence of him looking like a dork to pull out when its convenient. These pictures of Matthew playing with the VR glasses is a good example. He has a pleasant and witty sense of humor.
He starts 9th grade at the High School this year. He says he is excited and looking forward to it. He has always done great at school. Last year with stupid online learning and his particular math teacher (she was fine just taught differently than Matthew learns) he struggled with math. Since kindergarten I have never had to check his work and make sure he turns stuff in or even remind him to do his homework. He stays on top of it and keeps things organized. When he started middle school he came home overwhelmed about keeping track of so many different classes. I showed him what a binder and dividers are and he has continued to do great since then. He has a good singing voice but doesn’t want to do choir. Or theater. He has taken several art classes and enjoys them. He also humored me by taking a cooking class/sewing class. Right now he thinks he will go into something sports related like a trainer or physical therapist. He can’t handle even talking about blood so I wonder if he will change when he realizes how much anatomy and physiology there is.
He takes drivers education in a few weeks. It is still a while before he gets his drivers license but I am looking forward to it. Him being able to drive himself to weights, practices, seminary, and everywhere else he goes will be awesome.
A new hobby he just discovered thanks to his buddy Carter is fishing. They have gone a few times together and Matthew caught a fish within 2 minutes the first time. He hasn’t caught one since but he still really likes it. He even asked for fishing stuff for his birthday.
It has been awhile since I wrote about each kiddo individually so I thought I would do that. They like reading about themselves when they look through these blogs so I’ll catch up on what they are like in their lives right now.
She has changed from a little girl into a young lady the past several months. I love watching her grow up but it is also a little bitter sweet with her because each time she finishes a phase it is the last of my kids to go through it. Sometimes it is nice- like potty training. Other times it is a little sad- like losing her first tooth, or holding my hand when we go places. I can still talk her into holding my hand for now.
She is finishing her last week of a two week trip to visit Grandma and Grandpa Jones in Florida this Summer. She has been having a great time. She told me some of the highlights have been watching movies with grandma and grandpa, going to the zoo, playing with her cousin Aubry, swimming A LOT, and her cousin Hannah coming to stay too. They even had a Pioneer Primary Activity while she was there. She was a little nervous about flying on the airplane by herself to get there but she is a pro now so she isn’t worried about the flight home.
Emilee is 8 years old. She loves being the youngest kid and tries to take advantage of the ‘I don’t know how’ excuse any chance she gets. She is a master at getting what she wants right under your nose. I have to really watch myself or before I know it I am doing everything for her or having her brother or sister do it for her. The saying, you catch more bees with sugar than vinegar is her motto in life, if it doesn’t work she is fully prepared to back it up with crying or even the occasional tantrum. Those tactics are easier to spot because they are more annoying obviously, and she usually over does the theatrics a bit so it is almost comical. Overall she is still a happy easy going girl for the most part.
We often hear her singing either a real or made up song while she plays. She is the best at using her imagination and will entertain herself for hours with her stuffed animals or her little animal toys or legos. She has an amazing stuffed animal collection. It is almost like her journal. She remembers each of their names and where or why she got them. They rotate on her bed so they all have turns sleeping with her at night. There are 10-15 stuffed animals in her bed at any given time.
She is very tall for her age. Dad still tries to get her interested in sports. She is very fast and has a fair amount of natural athleticism. She has tried basketball, soccer, softball, gymnastics and will be trying volleyball this Fall. She could be very good at any of those but so far she hasn’t loved any of them. Her love is animals. She started riding lessons with one of her besties Reese about a year ago. She loves riding the horses and helping take care of them each week. She did a horse camp this Summer and has been telling us she wants a horse for Christmas ever since then. I am hoping she will be my kiddo that does some theater and choir in school.
She likes to color and draw. If I let her she would keep every single piece of paper from school, church, restaurants, and anywhere else she gets it. She wants to color every single space on the paper and then display it when she is done. She has a good memory and if one of her papers comes up missing she quickly checks her bed room garbage, then the kitchen garbage and the big dumpster in the garage to retrieve it. She has followed the chain of where I throw things away that she hasn’t approved. Paper is not the only thing she likes to keep. She likes to collect almost anything. She has her stuffed animals, sea shells, sunglasses, chap stick, rocks, dragons, anything she can think of. She loves collecting and prefers to have all of her collections on display, not neatly put away.
She loves having a friend to play with. Her besties are Reese Dunn, Summer Beashore, Cambrie McDonald and her cousin Jovee. If she is with any of them they can entertain themselves for hours. Reese and her share a love of animals and swimming. Summer and her love coloring together, Cambrie and her love Lego dragons and Jovee and her come up with all sorts of games to play.
She has loved dragons since she was very little and still loves them. She collects all kids of dragons-stuffed, plastic, action figures, but her most favorite is Dragons out of Legos. Her and Cambrie line them up for hours and play endlessly with them. She loves the How to Train Your Dragon movies and all the spin off shows from them.
Emilee is a sweet girl and has brought joy to our home from day one. She is the best cuddler. She loves to be tucked in every night. She enjoys going to bed when she is tired and looks forward to good sleep. She does not like getting up in the morning and the thought of having to get up early stresses her out. She is the pickiest eater you will ever meet. I think the biggest culprit to her pickiness is texture but it is a constantly changing, ridiculous list of what she will and won’t eat. Her food of choice is mac n cheese, cheese quesadilla, yogurt, carrots, apples, cereal, PB and honey, bagels with brown sugar cream cheese and water (unless root beer is an option which it usually isn’t but she likes to double check). She has been slowly getting better at broadening her list of foods she will eat with the exception of berries. Strawberries in particular. She will do any chore, go to bed in the middle of the afternoon, sit at the table for hours, go without any food before she will eat a strawberry or anything she knows has a strawberry in it. With the exception of strawberry milk which she calls pink milk and doesn’t know is strawberry. Technically it is just added flavored sugar so it isn’t really strawberry. As picky as she is she has a giant sweet tooth and we have to really watch what treats we keep around the house because she will eat all of them. Don’t think her inconsistent though, her sweet tooth is pretty picky too.
Emilee is a beautiful little girl but she doesn’t overly concern herself with matters of hygiene. She used to prefer to change into the clothes she was wearing the next day the night before instead of pajamas so she could roll out of bed and be ready. She now prefers to wear her pajamas and change in the morning like the rest of the world. She grabs whatever is at the top of her drawer and puts it on. Luckily she matches most of the time. She rarely shows a preference on what to wear and is fine with me picking out clothes for her at the store. She will brush the top layer of her hair and pull it into a pony tail. If she grabs shorts and it is cold she will put on a sweatshirt and wear knee high socks. If it is warm and she grabs leggings or long sleeves she will pull or roll them up if she gets hot. She would wear tennis shoes all the time even to church if I let her. One of her nick names is ‘Dirty Pigeon’. If you haven’t read the book by Mo Willems called The Dirty Pigeon, you should. It is about a pigeon that really needs a bath but doesn’t want to take one and makes a big fuss about it. When he finally gets in the bath he is in it for hours and won’t get out. That is Emilee. She will try and go days and days without taking a shower. When she is caught and has to take one she stomps and pouts about it then gets in the showers and literally stays until all the hot water is gone, or takes a bath and keeps adding hot water and stays for hours.
Emilee will be starting 3rd grade in a few weeks. School is not her favorite. The eye doctor is wondering and keeps checking her for focusing issues because reading is not her favorite. I think it is just that reading is not her favorite. She loves being read to but isn’t a big reader on her own. She does fine in school but is much more into the hands on active learning then sitting and concentrate learning. Her biggest hang up with school is she has to get up early (her definition of get up early is waking up anytime before she wakes up naturally on her own and can’t lay in bed for 30 minutes) but once she is there she does fine. Her teachers always say she is a sweet girl and a good listener.
Well that is kind of a hodge podge of things about Emilee. She is a happy fun girl and we love her a lot. She has been a happy easy going girl from day one. I am glad she is in our family and I love watching her grow up. The 5 words that pop into my head first when I think of Emilee are happy, fun, loving, silly, and kind.
Our much anticipated adults only vacation finally happened! We had a cruise scheduled for last December that was cancelled due to COVID. We rescheduled it for April this year and is was cancelled again for the same reason. We decided to push the cruise to next year for our 20th anniversary. Hopefully in a year cruises will be back and running. In the mean time we decided to go to an all inclusive resort and see if we liked it verses a cruise better. We went to Playa del Carmen and stayed in the Fairmont Mayakoba Resort. It was pretty swanky. In my head I pictured it like a fancy hotel room but we had our own little apartment and traveled around the resort by walking or golf cart to do the different things we wanted. There were lots of lizards. Tiny ones and big iguanas that we saw. We had a family of them that we saw around our bathroom. I told myself that they liked to stay in the bathroom where it was the most humid and wouldn’t crawl in my bed at night. We named them Larry, baby Larry, and Lizzy. When we were home and showing the kids pictures and talking to them about our trip they were the most jealous about our mini bar/fridge that was stocked daily with sodas, candy, chips, and a bunch of other snacks.
The weather was about 50/50 rainy and sunny while we were there. The day we had a tour around some of the places in Mexico, including the Mayan ruins was overcast and cloudy but no rain. It was still hot but no where near what it would have been if the sun was out. It was perfect. Some friends that were there a few months ago recommended we do an LDS tour with a family that has been running their own little business for group or personal tours. There is 8 kids if I remember right and all of them have a middle name from the Book of Mormon. The youngest is named Lemuel. His mom told him it was his job to make a new path for his name from his name sake. 🤣 Our friends tour guide was Helaman. My parents actually did a tour with them years ago on their cruise, their guides name was Alma. Our guide was Mosiah. It was a pretty awesome tour. He picked us up at our hotel and took us to Chichen-Itza, a cenote, and Ek Balam. He had lots of information about the ruins and pointed out ways that indicate the original religion was in God, Jesus, and the Holy Ghost and then over time when they became wicked turned them into multiple other Gods.
Between the two ruins we went and saw, Mosiah took us to a small little town and we ate lunch at a very authentic Mexican store/restaurant. Ryan thought it was pretty awesome. It reminded him of Bolivia. The food was really good. We had black bean soup and tacos with various kinds of pork and sauces. After lunch he took us to a cenote. They are really common there. It is basically a giant hole or cavern underground that gets filled with water from under ground rivers. They come in all different sizes. He took us to a smaller town with one that is pretty quiet and for most of the time we were the only ones there.
We headed to the beach to spend one of our days. We had heard there was a bit of a seaweed issue. We were fine with that. We thought we would go and sit in a chair and enjoy the view and eat lunch. When we wanted to swim we could come back to the pools. It turns out a ‘bit of a seaweed problem’ means ten foot tall mounds as far as you can see in either direction and crews of people netting and raking it up out of the ocean and not even making a dent. The smell was what we couldn’t handle. We had dinner reservations on the beach one night but after our visit we decided to cancel them and eat at a different restaurant.
One of the days we went into Playa Del Carmen and walked 5th avenue. Right after we got there a guy came up to us and said he was our waiter from the hotel and he wanted to show us his shop. He totally swindled us. We both thought he was an actual waiter from the hotel. We bought a few things from him and left. About ten seconds later, another shop owner came up to us and said he was our waiter. That is when we realized we had fallen for the number one tourist trick on the whole street. Amazingly we ran into 40 waiters that happened to work at our hotel. We figured out the umbrella we were carrying from the hotel was drawing all the attention. Despite that we got some good souvenirs and had fun walking around and seeing everything. The beach by the shopping area was covered in seaweed too.
We had a wonderful vacation and enjoyed ourselves very much. I got my first stamp on my pass port. We both decided that the resort was awesome and we had a great time but all things considered we like cruising a little more. There is a bigger variety of activities to do and you see more places with out having to do the traveling yourself once you are on the ship. We had fun and made some great memories together that will get us fueled and relaxed until our next trip together.
Allison went home with Grandma Jana for a few weeks after she came to watch the kids while Ryan and I were in Mexico. She loves going to visit Grandma and Grandpa and had a great time. They went swimming a lot, watched lots of movies, did art projects, she played with Aubry and she met her cousin KJ for the first time and held him for a bit while they lit of fire works for the 4th of July. She loves the one on one attention and enjoys getting to be an only child for a bit.
Matthew had a lot more baseball. They won several tournaments and came close to winning in several as well. He and Campbell like to go and watch each others games when they don’t have their own to play in. Towards the end of the season he finally started getting some of his speed back that he lost when he broke his leg.
This is some more random Summer pictures.
The last two pictures are to help Allison remember that we love her and this is why she isn’t always in the pictures with us.
Dad wanted to have a family dinner and game night with all the KC Terry families for his birthday. He smoked some meat and Ross and him played several games. I played one too, since it was his birthday and Father’s Day he said I had to. He spent most of the day on Saturday golfing with his new clubs. He stuck with his traditional birthday cake request of “mom’s chocolate cake”. It was a great weekend. We are all very happy that he is in our family.
Despite the month of May having an average temperature of about 65 and 3 of the 4 weeks rainy and gloomy, we are all ready for Summer to start!
One of our first activities was celebrating Grandma Terry’s birthday! She turned 69, and is doing pretty great! She has finished 4 of 6 chemo treatments and the cancer is responding like it should and going away. She has been handling it all like a champ and taking it day by day. We are all proud and happy for her and continue to pray that she will make a full recovery. We were happy with her choice of birthday cake too-strawberry jello cake-Yum!!
The girls went to Girl Scout camp to kick of their summer. They have both been a few times and don’t look forward to it per se, but seem to have a great time once they are there. Emilee went two days this year and then got sick with a stomach bug so missed the last half. Allison was old enough to stay over night one of the nights and saw way to many large bugs and spiders in her perma-tent. I don’t know if they will go again next year but it was good for both of them to enjoy a little outdoor time.
The girls and I were planning on joining Matthew and Ryan at a baseball tournament in Arkansas immediately following their camp, but since Emilee got sick and Allison wanted to go the last day instead of skip it we stayed home for the weekend and the boys went with out us. There first two games were kind of a bust. Matthew said they were probably the worst two games they had played since the famous ‘grand-slam bunt’ disaster 5 years ago. Things improved after that though. Matthew had some person best improvements and good contributions to the team and overall the team did better and won a few games. They all had a fun weekend and made good memories together too. Including adding a sign next to the hotels “pool closed” sign that caused a little confusion. If you can’t read the sign it says “The pool is open!” It may or may not have been added by one of the parents on our team.
Next week Matthew is going on his first High Adventure trip with the Young Men in our ward too. He needs some good outdoor time just like the girls.
Our 2021 Summer has officially begun. This will definitely be remembered as one of the weirdest school years ever I am sure. Of the three big school districts around our area, I am glad our kids were in the district we were in. They handled COVID the best as far as keeping kids in school as much as possible and getting things back to normal as quickly as possible. There was a lot of frustrations. Matthew was doing school virtually from home almost half the year and his grades and psyche struggled a lot because of it. The girls principal was ridiculous before COVID and used this as an opportunity to control and regulate EVERYTHING she could possibly think of. Compared to other districts I am glad I was in the one we were in though. I hope next year we can put all this behind us and have a good year.
Emilee finished 2nd grade this year. She had Mrs. Trimble. Allison also had this teacher and I specifically requested Emilee NOT have her. As I mentioned earlier though they have a special principal and her and I are not…fans of each other. Anyway, despite having a teacher that doesn’t seem to like kids or teaching, Emilee made it through the year without her anxiety getting to out of control. We were able to help curb her stress in the morning before going to school with a straight up bribe. A dollar each day she was able to not panic and cry about going to school the day night or morning before school. Best dollars I ever spent. The last week of school I went to a nail appointment and guess who I ran into?! Mrs. Trimble getting her nails done in the middle of a school day because she “just had to take a break from it all.” She didn’t see me, I just overheard her talking to the person doing her nails. I digress though. Emilee is done with second grade and is looking forward to 3rd!
Allison finished 5th grade this year and is moving onto middle school next year! The dollar bribe worked so well with Emilee I bribed Allison a dollar each day that she got up in the morning and ready and made it to the bus on time without blowing up on anyone. We had a 50/50 percent success rate but I will still count it as a win. As per usual Allison had a love/hate relationship with her teacher, Mrs. Brown. I liked her though and thought she understood Allison pretty well. She also helped us realize that Allison was literally ‘gating’ her performance instead of performing at her top potential. She talked with us about this and we ended up getting her tested and she is now in the gifted program for math, science, and reading which I think will improve Allison’s attitude toward school a lot as she will not be bored out of her mind anymore. We had several meetings and talks with teachers and counselors (oddly never the principal) and were able to get her evaluated without her knowing-and purposefully sabotaging herself. After the fact, when we were discussing all of this with Allison and trying to explain what the phrase ‘shooting ones self in the foot’ means, I would say we didn’t get a full representation of her capabilities but enough that she is now on the school radar and we can challenge her better. I am hoping she will thrive in middle school with a little more freedom and more variety to her day. She is looking forward to it a lot.
Matthew finished 8th grade this year and will be starting his first year of high school next year! Between mask requirements for school sports, and breaking his leg Matthew didn’t play any school sports this year- which is very unusual for him. Luckily he still had baseball and basketball outside of school (before he broke his leg) but he is excited to be able to be more involved next year. Despite COVID changes and no matter how ridiculous they got at times, he was able to finish the year on a positive note. I am nervous and excited for him to start high school. He is a good boy. If I can help guide him through the next 4 years of his life without huge mistakes or permanent scars and a strong testimony of Christ I will be a happy momma.
One of my co-workers lives on a small hobby farm. She has a pig, lambs, calf, donkey, turkeys, chickens, ducks, geese, bees and probably a few more animals I am not remembering. We were talking at work one day and decided that we should all go visit her farm. Emilee was the only one of my kids that was able to go, she brought her friend Summer. They loved it. Emilee is an animal lover and isn’t afraid to jump in and do whatever when it comes to animals. She loved the baby lamb and the baby ducks and chicks the most. One chicken in particular took a liking to her and followed her around and wanted her to hold it. Sandi let her name it, she decided to call it Ruby.
At their first meeting, Sherrie said one of the things that she was worried about was that he would just want to meet her once and then never see her again. Her family told her that was a possibility but she would at least get to meet him this time and have that memory if he decided he didn’t want to see her again. I was touched by her honesty and vulnerability. Ryan told her he didn’t know how the future looked or where to go from there but he did want to see her again and wanted to get to know her and her family better.
It has now been a few months since all the pieces of finding and talking to Sherrie for the first time fell into place. Sherrie and Ryan talk or text fairly often on the phone. Ryan has video chatted and or texted with all of his half siblings. I went to Utah to see my Grandma Jones and spent an afternoon meeting David, his wife Jen, and Giselle. Sherrie and Genevieve, her son Eric, Grandpa Perry and Sherrie’s husband David have stopped by our house at different times when they were coming by Kansas City.
About a week ago all of the siblings came out to have a vacation together in Branson Missouri. David and Austin stopped by our house on their way. We went to dinner, they came to one of Matthew’s games, and we had them and David and his wife and kids at our house for dinner. Ryan and I went to Branson for a day and met them all together. It was a little overwhelming for Ryan but he was glad to finally meet all of them in person and spend a few hours with them.
The following weekend we took the kids and went to Sherrie’s house and spent the weekend with them. David’s family was still there, our kids seemed to get a long with his kids pretty well. The kids loved having cousins to play with and lots of fun activities to do. We were able to meet Vanitta, Sherrie’s mom. The person that Kenny found and was able to finally find the link to Sherrie. We played games, grilled food, Ryan went golfing, we drove around Dardanelle, went to church with them, and took pictures on the top of Mt Nebo. It was a fun weekend. I felt like I was just meeting my in-laws for the first time even though I have been married for 19 years. Not quite sure how I fit in yet. Sherrie and her whole family are so kind and welcoming though. I am excited to have them added to our family. Ryan is too. I love the changes in him the past few months. I have always loved him and he has always been a good man. He has grown spiritually and emotionally the past few months and I love him even more.
It feels like all the ice has been broken now. Everyone has met and the initial relationships have started to form. One of our concerns when Ryan was debating on looking for his biological mom was how it would affect our family. We didn’t know all the possible scenarios but we had many that we came up with-good and bad. We decided to trust that Heavenly Father would guide us and things would happen the way that would be best for Ryan, our kids, Rhonda and Roger, and the people we discovered along the way. We had no idea how it would turn out but so far it has been pretty amazing.
My sweet Grandma Jones is 89 years old and has had some health complications the past little while. I decided to take a weekend to go and visit her in case she isn’t with us to much longer. She is not very comfortable and in pain most of the time but she still did her best to talk and visit with me. Sometimes her memory is bad but it was pretty clear when I was there this time. She told DeAnna and I stories about growing up and through out her life. I have been blessed with sweet grandparents and I am grateful for them. I was named after my grandma, Annie Joy Pinegar Jones. I have a lot of fond and happy memories from and with my Grandma. I am so glad I got to go see her and my grandpa for a few days.
I stayed with DeAnna and one of the days I was there we drove up to Idaho to visit my Grandma and Grandpa Call as well.
The first phone call, then video call was pretty nerve racking and intense for both Ryan and Sherrie. It took Sherrie several hours before she felt like she could even talk on the phone with Ryan let a lone meet him. Ryan had started looking in December and new the possibility of finding her was on the horizon at some point but from Kenny’s call that he found her to them talking was less then 16 hours. Sherrie had resigned to never knowing about Ryan in this life. She didn’t know his name, if he was alive, or that he had decided to find her. From the time she got the call from Perry it was about 7 hours later Ryan and her talked on the phone.
I sat by him the first few minutes of their first conversation. It was a little weird and awkward, neither one was exactly sure what to say. They both expected that though. The first thing I noticed was her sweet Arkansas accent (that I have a hard time not falling into every time I have talked with her since) and the kindness of her voice. I left shortly after they started talking when Ryan gave me the ok node and they talked for about an hour.
Over the next while they continued to text and occasionally talk on the phone or a video call. Eventually they decided they were ready to meet in person. Ryan said he wanted to meet more of the family eventually but he wanted to meet just Sherrie first. Instead of meeting at one of their own homes they got it worked out to meet at Genevie’s house. Her and her husband would both be working all day so they could have the house to themselves. She lives about 3 1/2 hours from us and 2 hours from Sherrie. Ryan asked if I would go with him but wanted the first meeting to be without the kids so Ross and Lauren helped us out and watched them. We were going to go down the night before and stay in a hotel but things didn’t work out so we left early that morning. We planned to stay a few hours then head home. On the drive down Ryan was a basket case. He kept saying he was hungry, then not hungry, then nauseas, then hungry. I told him I thought he was just very nervous-and he was. We had to switch drivers the last little but because he couldn’t sit still or focus.
We got to Genevieve’s about 11am. On the drive down I asked Ryan if he wanted me to discreetly record their first meeting. He said no because he thought it would make it more weird and awkward then it was already going to be. I said ok and decided I was still going to do it. We got out of the car once we got there and Ryan walked up to the front door, I walked behind him recording without his knowledge. He took several deep breaths and said he might vomit or pass out then range the doorbell.
It was a pretty awesome meeting. Sherri opened the door and they gave each other a really long hug. I got one too. We spent the rest of the afternoon talking. I mostly listened and filled conversation in when there was a lull. I am not usually the one with this job so it was a little weird but I enjoyed watching them get to know each other. Ryan loved hearing about similarities in looks and likes and traits that he had with people in his family. At one point they were exclaiming how excited they were to find out Sherrie has asthma just like Matthew since it is genetic. They talked about lots of different things. Sherrie kept apologizing for giving Ryan away and he kept reassuring her that he was happy and loved his parents and his life they gave him. I brought some pictures for her to look through. There were a few tears from everyone but overall it was a very happy meeting. Sherrie made us lunch and before we new it, it was 4 pm. Ryan was a little more comfortable so he suggested that if Perry and his wife (who lived a few minutes away) wanted to come over he would be fine with that. Robert, Genevieve’s husband and their son Eric also came over because he finished work. At 7pm we decided we had better get home. The day went by really fast and was really nice. Ryan told Kenny and Sherri about it on the way home and then we just reviewed the day and talked about it the rest of the way. I also told Ryan that I had decided to record their first meeting even though he told me not too. He had no idea I had done it and was glad I had.
I haven’t been to many meetings of a birth mom meeting her son she gave up for adoption 42 years after the fact for the first time. I think it couldn’t have gone much better though. It was an awesome experience I was happy I got to witness it. I am excited for Sherrie and Ryan to get to know each other.
Telling his parents weighed the most on him. The night after he talked to Sherrie for the first time he went over to talk to his parents. Rhonda was having a rough day health wise so he decided to wait. He went over for the next several days in a row to tell them but Rhonda seemed to be getting worse. She ended up being checked into the hospital and we found out she had lymphoma. Ryan wanted to share the news but didn’t want to stress his mom out more. He knew she would be emotional about it and was worried about the stress it would cause her. She ended up being in the hospital for over a week. One of the evenings he spent in the hospital with her they had a talk that ended up leading towards Ryan finding his birth mom at some point. Ryan didn’t tell her then because he didn’t want to tell her while she was in the hospital but he was able to talk with her and let he know that some day he wanted to meet her. He felt it was a blessing to prep her a little before he told her when she felt good enough. A few days after Rhonda got home from the hospital Ryan and I walked over to see his parents and Ross was there. Rhonda was having a good night and Ryan decided to tell them. Ryan said he thought it went as well as he expected it would. I think it went a lot better than I expected it too. Ryan did an amazing job of sharing his story with them about why he finally decided to find his birth mom and how he found her. Roger was very receptive and seemed happy for Ryan. Rhonda was sad and made a few comments about Ryan leaving her. Ryan assured her she was his mom forever and that would never change and he never wanted it to change. Over the past several weeks since he talked to his parents he has talked with them several more times about his experiences. At some point Ryan hopes that his mom and dad will be able to meet Sherrie. Rhonda wants to wait until she is better and everyone understands that. He is looking forward to their meeting and thinks they will be great friends. Sherrie has told Ryan many times that Rhonda is her hero. She has thought of her as that from the day Ryan was born and she is so happy that she is such an amazing mom to Ryan. Thinking of her taking care of Ryan over the years and loving him brought her a lot of peace.
Ryan has spent a lot of time thinking and processing his thoughts and how others might feel or react. I have been touched by his concern for others while he has been navigating all the emotions he didn’t expect at the same time. He has been open and honest with everyone and has wanted to help his family understand he loves them and finding his biological family doesn’t and won’t change any of that. He has no doubt that Heavenly Father was guiding and helping him get to the family he was supposed to be with and everything worked out the way it was supposed to. There have been many things that have happened through this whole process that have shown him that God is still watching out for him and his family and guiding him to find people and tell them at the right times. I have seen a lot of spiritual and emotional growth in him the past few months.
Shortly after Ryan and Sherrie spoke on the phone for the first time, her husband Dave sent Ryan an email. The first week after finding Sherrie Ryan was extremely emotional and had a lot of mixed feelings about things. He found Dave’s email very comforting and was appreciative of him sending it to him. It helped him know a little more about who Sherrie and he were.
Dear Ryan:
I just wanted to say thank you for your courage and boldness in reaching out to Sherrie. This was the secret desire of her heart to know that she could know that you were safe and happy, and getting to hear from you and meet you is wonderful.
I thought I’d just share a few things with you concerning Sherrie.
She is a fiercely devoted mother and Grandmother. Her children and grandchildren are constantly calling her. The grandchildren are always asking “Meme are you going to be at my…(birthday party, school lunch, sacrament meeting, tomorrow…)?” It is really delightful the way they seek her out.
We live in a somewhat economically depressed area of Arkansas in Yell County. The county covers 927 square miles. In 1992 we were formed as a Branch and started with a regular attendance of about 18 people. There have been times when our attendance was only 11. That said, we are still a very small Branch, and as you can imagine, the few active members have always had multiple callings and assignments. Throughout the years, Sherrie has held every possible calling and has been enthusiastic in serving in whatever calling she had. In our Branch we have seen a lot of people join the Church, embrace the Gospel, improve financially, then move on to better opportunity. We have birds that regularly build nests on our windows. They build, raise their babies, then fly off. We often feel that’s the way our Branch operates.
in July 1998, Eric, our middle son, was diagnosed with cancer. On April 7, 2000, just 3 days before Sherrie’s Birthday, Eric (10 years old) passed away in Cardinal Glennon Hospital in St. Louis. We buried him on April 11, 2000, the day after Sherrie’s birthday. That was a very difficult event for our entire family, but especially for Sherrie. However, we know that families are eternal, and we will be with Eric again.
Sherrie and I met in August 1979, and were married January 18, 1990. She was a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and I was not. Shortly after we met, she told me that she had a child and had delivered the child for adoption. I know that it hurt her tremendously, but we couldn’t discuss it. I know that it was always her desire to be assured that you were safe, that you would have grown up strong with Faith in Christ. However, she knew that she couldn’t seek you out and threaten the family and your mother by just popping up. So she silently hoped the best for you in her heart.
Imagine the joy that you have brought her by reaching out. Imagine her joy in knowing you have a strong family, and you have a wife and children of your own. By your reaching out to Sherrie has freed her to be able to openly and honestly discuss this with her children, parents, brothers and sisters.
I want you to know that this is a great blessing you have given us by reaching out to Sherrie.
Thank you.
May Heavenly Father Bless your Mother and Father, your sisters and brothers, your wife and your children. May your children’s children remember your gift and blessing.
Respectfully, and Sincerely
David E. Torgerson
The day Sherrie found out about Ryan, she immediately wanted to tell her kids. She told Giselle and Austin together at Giselle’s house. After she told them Sherrie called David and said she had something she needed to talk to all of them about and they were all coming over to his house that evening. When David hung up the phone, he told his wife he had something to tell her. He said he had an older brother that his mom gave up for adoption before he was born. He said his mom was coming over and he knew it was about his brother. She either found him, or found out that he wasn’t alive. While David was waiting for his mom he then got to explain to his wife of 17+ years of marriage why this was the first time she was hearing anything about an older brother that had been given up for adoption.
Sherrie and Dave’s oldest son is named David too. He first learned about Ryan on his mission when he wrote her a letter and said he wanted to know, not if, but who his older brother was because he knew he had one. Sherrie told him about Ryan through letters. She didn’t know anything other than he was a boy so other than her experience she didn’t have much to share. When David was talking with his mission president at his exit interview from his mission he told his president about Ryan and that he was planning on going to find him and meet him. His mission president told him that while he understood his desire, he didn’t think it was best for him to find Ryan. He told him Ryan had his own life and they didn’t know anything about it and it wasn’t fair to disrupt it. Ryan might not even know he was adopted. David decided to not try and find his brother at that time. When Sherrie called David the day she found out about Ryan and said she wanted to come over and talk with him and his family, David said he immediately knew it was something about Ryan. He knew Sherrie had found him and he was reaching out to her or she found out he had passed away. Once Sherrie confirmed that Ryan had reached out to her and wanted to connect with her and her family, David immediately texted Ryan and said he had been hoping to meet him for years and was looking forward to getting to know him.
Giselle and Austin had no idea about Ryan. The first they heard was the day Ryan contacted Sherrie. It was a shock to them but they seemed to take it in stride.
Austin said hi over text but there wasn’t much more communication until they met in person a few months later. Being 25 and not married his perspective of the situation was a little different then everyone else. It might be a while before he realizes and processes all the baggage that goes with this. They have a similar sense of humor and many interests that are the same. I think they will have a comfortable relationship in the future.
Giselle went through shock and acceptance of having a ‘lost brother’ pretty quick and reached out to Ryan and zoomed with him pretty quickly. Shortly after they talked she had a lot of emotions set it and has been a little overwhelmed sorting through them. She is excited to meet and get to know Ryan but feels a sense of loss at the same time. She told him she missed him after they talked and was sad that she had missed out on his life even though she didn’t know about him. She had the most trepidation in meeting Ryan. Sherrie and David have a son named Eric that passed away when he was ten years old from cancer. Eric was a few years older than Giselle and Austin. I think a lot of the feelings of losing her brother Eric have resurfaced since finding Ryan. Everyone agrees that Ryan looks the most like Eric and it would be strange to have a brother that entered your life years later that looked so much like a brother you had lost. It is a lot to process. I think they will be able to have a good relationship at some point but it will take a little time.
Genevieve, like David, somehow new that she had an older brother besides David when she was younger. When she was 13 she cornered her mom and said she wanted to know about him. She never knew if she would meet him but she hoped someday it might happen. When Sherrie told her about Ryan she asked where he was and immediately wanted to meet him. Several weeks later it worked out that she came to visit our house with Sherrie and was able to meet Ryan. She is a sweet person and seemed to immediately be ready to have Ryan in her life.
Ryan had been talking with Ross and keeping him updated on the search and finally finding Sherrie. He was excited for Ryan but also had a little worry for a minute when he found out because of the possibility of change. He was at Rhonda’s house when Ryan told his parents and helped her understand that finding his birth mom didn’t mean she was losing or even changing the relationship Ryan had with his family. I was glad he was there, Ryan told me later that he was glad he was there too.
We waited to tell our kids until after Ryan had talked to his parents. We didn’t want any chance of one of them letting it slip before Ryan could talk to them first. We were unsure how they would react and nervous about telling them. Our concern was unfounded though. They new Ryan was adopted and seemed to take it completely in stride when we told them that he had found his birth mom. Emilee in particular was tickled pink that she would have even more cousins to play with. Allison told us that she wasn’t going to call Sherrie grandma because she had two grandma’s already but didn’t seem opposed to someday possibly meeting her. Matthew was a typical 14 year old teenager and said. “Ok, can I go back to playing basketball.” It was a relief to know (other than Allison stating her loyalty, which we told her was just fine and her grandma’s would appreciate her devotion) they didn’t seem to be rocked or concerned when we told them. Kids are pretty great at accepting and embracing changes.
When Ryan found out about Sherrie and contacted her it was a crazy overwhelming experience. He was able share it with a lot of his family and close friends over the next several weeks. I am writing this to help him remember the experience and feelings he had. He recorded some on his own as well. Some people have said what amazing coincidences have happened over the years but we know it isn’t coincidences. This whole experience has been and continues to have amazing little miracles happen that confirm to us that Heavenly Father is so aware of each of us. It has left Ryan without a doubt that his mom and dad were meant to be his parents and the way he got to them wasn’t the conventional way but Heavenly Father guided everyone to help not just Ryan but Sherrie, Roger, Rhonda, and their families. It is a pretty amazing story.
I am so grateful for the family and friends that have shared the excitement, concern, and dozens of other emotions that have taken turns at the front of the line the past few months. Kenny spent hours and hours finding the right person that linked Ryan to Sherrie. Ryan followed the prompting to reach out to Perry who facilitated and prepared Sherrie to find Ryan. My family, Ryan’s family, Sherrie’s family, and our amazing friends the Dunn’s, Johnson, Sam, the McDonald’s and a lot more have been nothing but supportive of Ryan as he has started navigating through all of this. It is pretty incredible how everything has turned out.
Matthew had a baseball tournament in Oklahoma a few weeks ago. It was actually for the sister team he plays with but they needed a few extra players so Matthew went. Long story short they ended up changing the rules for the tournament in the middle of one of our games-totally ridiculous I know- and our coaches decided that we were going to withdraw instead of let them just change things to make a point. So the tournament was a bust, but we had fun going to other games and were able to get back home earlier for Mother’s Day. Matthew’s main team has several siblings that Emilee plays with, there weren’t any that came on this team so she did a good job being a trooper even though she was bored most of the time. Allison stayed home with Grandma and Grandpa Terry instead of coming for the weekend. We are really glad that they live here. We all needed a break from each other and she loves spending time at their house.
Every now and then when I am walking around the house I come across my kids being kids in such a cute way it makes me smile. Sometimes I am lucky and get a picture of it.
Allison will organize something or make a list or possible outfits to wear in the morning. Emilee watching her stuffed animals getting washed in the washer with concern they are not enjoying it. Matthew talking to Peanut and telling him he is the cutest. I love little moments like that.
We have a white board on the wall in our basement. I see it often when I am on the treadmill. It has had writing on it for a while but I didn’t take the time to read what it said until recently and it made me smile.
A few weeks ago when our cousins were over at our house, Jovee and Emilee decided to make an outline of their plan to shoot Ethan and Matthew with the Nerf Guns. As you can see they put a lot of thought into it.
There are symbols for Ethan and Matthew instead of their names.
There is a list of needed supplies…or ‘geer’.
A detailed plan of action.
And of course, a plan to regroup after the plan is completed and plan the next plan.
I LOVE IT!!
We have had some work done on our basement lately so I have been going through things and cleaning out closets and storage areas. I have never been attached to stuff. I have things that would make me feel sad to lose but for the most part if I don’t have a spot or a space for it I am all for getting rid of it or giving it to someone that can use it. My sentimental side is put into photos and journals.
So as I was cleaning things out and discarding things, one of the items that was left sitting in the middle of the floor was my blue rocking chair. This chair was purchased a few weeks before we had Matthew. I wanted a chair in his room to sit in when he nursed or at night for story time. At the time we bought this chair I really liked the look of the popular rocking chairs that had a matching rocking ottoman. We had looked at and tried several of that style, they were cute but when I sat in them I was less than impressed. They were not comfortable, they didn’t recline, and they were ridiculously expensive too. So other then looking cute in the nursery pictures at stores it seemed useless to me.
One of the weekends before Matthew was born Ryan and I were looking at couches at a store for our house in Wichita and noticed they had a room full of consigned furniture for sale. I walked through it and found this little blue reclining rocking chair. It was a smaller one so when I sat in it the arms were close and easy to reach and would work perfect to rest my arm on when holding a baby. It was cushioned everywhere so it was nice and comfy. It rocked, or could be reclined with a foot rest in many different angles. I pictures a nice little grandma or grandpa that had it in their home for a few decades. It was in really good condition and clean. I thought it was perfect! We bought it and brought it home and put it in Matthew’s room.
It worked perfectly for me over the years. I rocked and snuggled all my babies in it. It didn’t creek or make noise when you rocked in it. I read thousands of books, took hundreds of naps, and spent many nights comfortably sleeping in it with a sick baby or toddler sleeping on my chest. I thought about recovering it sometimes but never got around to it. It stayed in the youngest kids room up until we moved to our new house in 2015. In our new house we didn’t really have a spot for it but I put it in all of our kids rooms for awhile until they wanted to fill the space with something else. I even had it in my room for a bit. Then it ended up in the basement and Matthew spent countless hours in it when he broke his leg.
When we had the last of our built in work put in the basement I was all out of spots to put it. I moved it to the garage and it stayed there for a while. I asked around a bit with neighbors and friends and church to see if anyone wanted it. No takers. I loaded several other items and things in my van and donated them but kept leaving the chair in the garage. Finally I loaded the chair up in the van and drove it to the salvation army. Then I parked in the parking lot and debated with myself for way longer than I will admit if I should donate it or not. Then I called Ryan and ran my thoughts through him. I have no need for this chair…I seem to have some attachment to it…I feel hesitant to donate it…I am acting crazy about a chair…I want to donate it but I don’t want it to become a college kids pot smoking chair…I thought I knew what his answer would be but he surprised me. He told me that a few months ago he would have told me that I was being irrational and to donate the chair (that is the answer I was expecting) but after the last few months with discovering his biological family and dealing with buckets of unknown buried, new and overwhelming emotions he is a changed man now and understands that the chair is important to me and he will support me in keeping the chair or donating it. Whatever I wanted to do. Sweet answer, but not helpful.
I got off the phone with Ryan and talked out loud to myself in my car for a few minutes and decided I would donate the chair. I would hope someone that needed it would have it and my sweet chair would be useful to someone else, hopefully a new mom or grandparent…not a college student.
I drove up to the donation area, the man helping me said they only took furniture in really good condition. I told him the chair was in great condition, not a rip or stain on it. Someone would be very happy to have it, I rocked all my babies in it and I wouldn’t give it to him if he was going to throw it away or give it to a pot head. He put a hand on my shoulder and said he would find it a good home. Then I left and cried all the way home about a chair.
I know it wasn’t about the chair. The chair just reminded me of the memories I had with all my babies that aren’t babies anymore. It was one of the last if not the last thing I had around the house from their baby years. That man probably called me the crazy lady and gave the chair to the first person that wanted it, but I hope it found a good home.
This is the crabs in their new home. I think it is not to shabby. Jeffrey, Crab Cakes, and Georgia are pretty lucky crabs. We have the humidity and temperature where they like it and they seem to be pretty happy and active. They explore, swim, climb, sleep, eat, and dig in the sand. We think one of them is in the molting process because she has tunneled deep into the sand and we haven’t seen her for a few days. We watched another one switch shells. Crabs outside of their shell or pretty creepy looking. It is like alien creepy. We often find ourselves just watching the crabs crawl around. I would never have expected them to be so interesting. I would even say they are a little cute…when they have a shell on their back.
It was 1pm on Friday and Ryan had another meeting at 2pm. He decided that he couldn’t wait that long so he called Perry back. Perry answered the phone and Ryan said, “Hi, this is Ryan. This is kind of crazy.”
Perry said, “Hi Ryan, we know who you are and we have been praying for you, your whole life. My sister Sherrie is your birth mom. She would love to connect with you if you want.”
They talked for most of the next hour on Ryan’s way to his next meeting. Perry told him that he had gotten his Facebook Message and his email right away. He was pretty shocked but immediately contacted his wife. She is one of their family experts on family history so she started doing a little fact checking on Ryan to make sure he wasn’t a weirdo. She googled him, searched him on Linked In, and Facebook. They were able to find some pictures of him. They could see the family resemblance right away and Ryan’s birth date and place matched the information they knew about his sister giving up her baby. They showed a picture of Ryan to one of their sons and asked him who he looked like without any explanation. He looked at it for about two seconds and said, Austin. Austin was his cousin and Sherrie’s youngest son, which would make him Ryan’s half brother, if Sherrie was Ryan’s birth mom. She followed the family history Ryan and given them based on his DNA with their own family history and confirmed that they also thought they were related. His wife said she thought Ryan was a legit person and didn’t give off any big red crazy flags so with a cautious concern to Perry to remember we have a mother’s (Rhonda) feelings to protect and consider as they moved forward. They decided to proceed and contact Sherrie and let her know Ryan had contacted them and then contact Ryan back and tell him he had found his biological family.
Sherrie now lived in Arkansas about an hour away from Perry. She has a son at BYU, and a married daughter and son that lived in Utah with their families. She had gone out to see them for a little bit and was supposed to fly home that Friday. The airlines had contacted her and told her that her flight had been canceled so she ended up staying an extra day or two in Utah. Instead of being on an airplane when Perry called, she was helping her daughter pick up one of her kids from school. When she answered Perry’s call he told her he’d had an amazing experience that he wanted to share with her. He told her he wanted her to sit down. Perry told her that a young man had reached out to him and said he was looking to find his biological family. He told her they had confirmed it the best they could and were pretty positive that it was the baby she had given up for adoption in 1979.
Sherrie was beyond shocked. Of all the possible things that ran through her mind when Perry said he needed to tell her something, this had not been one of them. She was immediately overwhelmed. Perry told her all the information he had and asked her if she wanted him to contact Ryan back and if she wanted to talk to him. Sherrie said she definitely wanted to talk with him but needed a bit to process and get her emotions under control and tell her kids. Perry told her he would be in touch and hung up to call Ryan.
Here are some of the things Perry and Ryan talked about on their first phone call together.
Perry told Ryan he was really glad that he had reached out to him first so he could contact Sherrie first. Later on everyone in the family told Ryan he picked the perfect person to contact first in the family. That was a confirmation to Ryan that he had definitely been lead by The Spirit to contact Perry first instead of Bill Bertelson.
Perry told Ryan that his sister had gotten pregnant and he found out while he was on his mission so she had already had the baby and given him up for adoption and moved out to Utah before he came home from his mission. He said they didn’t talk about it a lot over the years but there were a few occasions they did. It wasn’t a secret but it was very painful for Sherrie to discuss and think about. They always hoped he was ok and happy and with a good family and prayed for him.
Sherrie was now married and had 5 more children after Ryan. David was married and lived with his wife and six children in Herriman Utah. Their next oldest Genevieve was married and lived with her husband and son in Arkansas about an hour from Sherrie. Their third child was a daughter that lived in Herriman Utah as well, and her and her husband had two boys. They had another son named Eric that got cancer when he was around 10 years old and passed away. Their youngest son was named Austin and he was finishing up his last semester at BYU.
Perry asked Ryan if he wanted him to have Sherrie contact him. Ryan was feeling pretty overwhelmed. At this point it had barely been twelve hours since Kenny had contacted him telling him he found his biological family. Now he had it confirmed and knew not only his biological mom which was mind blowing in itself but also aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, grandparents, and four living half siblings. He told Perry that he did want to talk with her and when she was ready he would like to talk on the phone. Perry gave him Sherrie’s phone number and passed Ryan’s on to her.
After Ryan’s call ended with Perry he took a few minutes to group call Sherri, Kenny and I and fill us in on as much of the conversation as he could in about 5 minutes before heading into his next meeting even though his mind was on nothing but the conversation he had just had with his new found Uncle. After his last meeting of the day he was finally able to come home and sit down and try to digest everything he had discovered in the last few hours.
The rest of Sherrie’s day after her phone call from Perry.
Sherrie had a lot of difficult emotions she had wrapped up in a tight little box over the years around discovering she was pregnant and going through the process of giving Ryan up for adoption. Some of the bigger players being guilt and regret. When her two oldest children David and Genevieve were growing up there were a few times they asked about their older brother. Sherrie didn’t know if someone else had told them, or she said something about it she didn’t remember but to her knowledge she had never told them about their older brother. Each time they asked she tried to change the subject or disregard the question. When Genevieve was about 13 years old she came to her mom and told her that she had always felt like she had an older brother besides David and she needed to know why. Sherri decided to tell her at that time she did have a son before David that she had given up for adoption. She didn’t know anything else about him and most likely they would never meet him in this life. Later on when David was in the MTC for his mission, he sent his mom a letter describing the same thoughts Genevieve had years earlier and wanted to know not if, but who his older brother was. Sherri wrote him back and told him her story. Ending with the same thing she told Genevieve, she didn’t think it was possible they would ever know who he was or meet him in this life.
Sherrie never told her Giselle or Austin about Ryan. When Sherrie got off the phone with Perry, her daughter saw her face and was concerned. She could tell something big had happened. She started asking her mom questions and trying to figure out what happened. Sherrie told her she needed all three of her kids that were in Utah to get together because she had something to tell them, but she only wanted to say it once.
It took a few hours for Austin to come to Giselle’s house. Sherri stuck to her guns and wouldn’t say anything until he got there. She called David and told him she would be coming over to his house after she talked to them and he was done at work to tell him something important. When Austin got to Giselle’s they sat down and Sherri told them about giving Ryan up for adoption and that he had reached out to Perry and wanted to talk with her. They learned they had a half brother. Obviously they were shocked. They spent some time talking about it and then went over to David’s and told him the brother he thought he would never meet had reached out to Sherrie.
Later that evening Sherrie texted Ryan for the first time. She said she was very nervous and would probably be weird and awkward but when he was ready she would like to call him. Ryan texted her back and said he was going to be weird and awkward too but her was ready to talk when she was. Sherrie called him back almost immediately. I listened long enough for them to get through their hellos and hear Sherrie’s sweet Arkansas accent then left the room. They talked for about an hour and started to get to know each other. They talked about their day and the emotions they had experienced and started to share the stories of their lives. At the end of their conversation they decided they would try a zoom call the next evening. The next night they saw each other through their computers and talked for several more hours.
The kids had spring break in March like usual this year but we decided to postpone a bit and went to Gulf Shores in Alabama in April instead. We originally invited Grandma and Grandpa Terry to go with us and Ross and Lauren and their family. Grandma and Grandpa decided they didn’t want to go in case Grandma wasn’t feeling good. She had her second chemo treatment the day before we left. So it was the Terry cousins and us. We left a Friday after school and drove the first 4 1/2 hours then stayed the night at a hotel. Driving wasn’t bad at all. The kids and adults swapped around between the two cars so we seemed to have more peaceful traveling. When we headed out the next morning we had about 10 hours left to drive. We stopped at Mammoth Springs and walked around the lake and saw the waterfall. Uncle Ross stood on one side of the bridge and dropped a leaf and then hurried to the other side to watch it fall down the waterfall. The kids thought is was great fun and spent the next 15 minutes tossing sticks and leaves and watching them go over the falls. They would all yell in excitement every time. It was hilarious. They would have done it a lot longer but we dragged them away to get back on the road. We saw a muskrat or beaver (there was a debate we settled by letting everyone call it what they wanted since there was no clear view of its tail). We also saw lots of pretty birds, including two that were right on the trail and were not interested in moving out of the way at all.
After that, we stopped to eat and pee until we arrived at Gulf Shores. We grabbed some groceries. Shopping with six kids is always a treat. We had enough sugary cold cereals to last the week plus the next month. When we got to our condo it was about 8 pm so it was already dark, we moved in and got settled and enjoyed the view of the ocean from the patio. It was a nice little spot for us. Each couple had a room, the boys shared a room and the girls shared a room. The weather looked like it would be a little dicey but Sunday-Wednesday afternoon was pretty gorgeous weather. Our condo opened right to the beach. If the weather was sunny that’s where the kids wanted to be. Gulf Shores has a little bigger waves then Florida beaches we have gone too. We brought boogie boards and that was one of the favorite pass times at the beach. We spent all the sunny days building sand castles, playing catch, body surfing, shell and crab hunting, swimming, sunbathing, flying kites, reading, napping, playing bocce ball, all the fun beach things you can think of. If the sun got to be to much the kids would walk into the pool at the hotel and swim in fresh water for a bit then come back to the beach. Lauren and Leah and I decided to walk to the pier that was ‘just down the beach’ one of the days. It was a much longer walk then we thought. Uncle Ross ran it the next day with his watch to tell how far it was and it was a 2 1/4 miles to the pier. We did a 4 1/2 mile walk in the sand that we thought was maybe a mile. We were all a little sore and chaffed the next day.
I think it was Tuesday we took a break from the sun and went to explore one of the Forts nearby. Ross and Ryan went golfing after that and Lauren and I took the kids on a Ferry to Dauphin Island. We ate lunch and went to the aquarium on the Island then road the Ferry back home.
In the evenings we played games and watched movies. Sometimes the kids went down to the beach after dark to see if they could find crabs. Wednesday was back to the beach but the nice weather only lasted until about noon. Then it started to rain. We ended up going mini golfing and stopping by an ice cream shop. Thursday was a rainy day. We went to the souvenir shop and hung out at the condo. My kids ended up pooling their money and getting hermit crabs for their souvenirs. Matthew agreed to supply most of the funding on the condition he got to keep them in his room but the girls could take care of them. We added Jeffrey, Georgia, and Crab Cakes to our family. Once we got home we did a little research on how to take care of them. We turned our old aquarium into a new house for them with sand and a pool and a little forest and hut for them. They seem to love it. At least more then the plastic cage with a few rocks in it they were living in when we got them. We also discovered in our research that crabs can live up to thirty years in the wild. We told the kids that they could plan on taking them with them when they got married.
Friday was time to head back home. We swapped around a lot on the way home. The weather was rainy most of the time and we drove it in one stretch. It was a little before one in the morning when we got home. Ryan and I decided we are to old to drive at night anymore. Neither one of us can see very well and we like to sleep instead of stay awake. We were chugging soda, eating snacks and pinching each other to stay awake. The last hour and a half was pretty painful. We really debated stopping and getting a hotel an hour away from home. We made it though. It was nice to have the rest of the weekend before jumping back into school and work.
It was an awesome vacation. The kids were all feeling a little cabin fever and liked getting out of the house and going somewhere. I am glad we got to make some memories and have a good week together.
When Kenny found the link to the Turnbull’s he woke up his wife and showed her the obituary and contacted Ryan. As the three of them were talking Sherri noticed another name in the same obituary that she recognized, Bill Bertelson. She remembered knowing someone by that name from a family that she knew when she lived in South Dakota with my parents. She remembers thinking it wasn’t a very common name but it was probably a coincidence.
Once they had Vanitta’s name they started trying to find more information about her. They assumed she was likely Ryan’s mom but they didn’t know for sure. One of the ways they looked her up was on Facebook. Since they weren’t friends with her, only her public pictures were available to see. They looked through several available pictures and tried to glean any information they could. As they were looking through the pictures, Sherri saw a picture of Vanitta with her brother Bill Bertelson. She pointed it out to Ryan and they were both shocked. Ryan and her both recognized the Bill in the picture with Vanitta. It was the same Bill they had met together nineteen years earlier.
Christmas 2002. Ryan and Janae were married in May 2002. At the time her parents and other three siblings lived in Rock Springs, Wyoming. Later that year her dad was transferred with his job and the family planned to move to Sioux Falls, South Dakota. With the timing of the move they arrived in South Dakota the week of Christmas. They couldn’t move into the house until shortly after the New Year so they planned to stay in a hotel until then. Ryan and Janae decided to come up and join them and they had a hotel Christmas in Sioux Falls South Dakota their first Christmas together with Janae’s family. A day or so before Christmas was Sunday and the family attended the new church they would be going to and met some new friends. One of the families that introduced themselves to Janae’s parents was the Bertelson family. Bill and his wife Barbara. When they heard they were staying in a hotel over Christmas they invited us to join their family for a Christmas breakfast. They were a very kind and thoughtful family. My parents got to know them well and became good friends. Whenever Ryan and Janae went up to visit her family they would always come and say hi at church and ask how they were doing.
Along with discovering Vanitta and her brother Bill, the three of them were able to figure out that Vanitta was about 85 years old which would have made her in her mid forties when Ryan was born. They also pieced together that she had several children that would be older than Ryan and one that would be younger. At this point their best guess was Ryan was most likely conceived from an affair or maybe rape then given up for adoption. After talking and speculating and living on a wave of excitment from finding a strong lead, the three of them decided to call it a night and pick up the search in the morning. A few short hours later Janae woke up at 7am on Friday morning not knowing any of the exciting news from the night before. When Ryan filled her in on everything they had discovered she told him he would never live down not waking her up when he found out. Then they called Kenny and Sherri and picked up were they left off the night before and started making a plan to figure out who to contact. Through Facebook stalking they were able to figure out a few more of Vanitta’s family members. Kenny, Sherri and Janae were pushing for Ryan to call or email Bill. They thought that would be the easiest link. He probably wouldn’t remember Ryan but he would know Janae’s parents. Ryan didn’t want to contact Vanitta directly, but instead of Bill he kept coming back to a guy named Perry Turnbull that we thought was Vanitta’s son. Ryan said he felt like that was the right person to contact, he looked like a good guy and maybe even a Bishop in our church. Within 5 minutes Kenny has Perry’s email and phone number and found out he actually was a Branch President of a Young Single Adult Ward. Ryan decided that is who he would contact. At 9am he sent a Facebook Message and an email to Perry with the following message:
Perry, I don’t believe we’ve ever met, my name is Ryan Terry. This is probably going to sound strange so I’ll jump right into it. I was born in 1979 and was adopted via LDS family services, but I think we might be related! A few months ago I got a 23andme DNA test, mostly to check for health concerns as I have no family history, but also out of curiosity of my biological lineage. Literally the only piece of information I have about my biological parents is on adoptive court papers that had my surname of Turnbull before legally changing my name to Ryan Terry when I was a few months old. In 23andme I have only a few 2nd and 3rd cousins, and did not see any Turnbull surnames. Until last night. I was looking at the Keele family line, which DNA says I have relations to, and found through Ancestry.com and Family Search where the Turnbull name actually popped up – with Vanitta. Through some light Facebook investigation, it looks like that is your mother or you are related to her in some way.
Anyway, maybe this is super weird, but I think we may be closely related and I thought you could maybe help me connect some dots. I considered reaching out directly to Vanitta, but figured she may not be super Facebook savvy and not even know I sent a message. Or maybe it would be a shock to her if I directly contacted her. So since you seem to be active on Facebook and connected to her I wondered if you could help me. I sent you a message in Facebook Messenger too but I often forget to check those messages, so thought I’d send you an email.
Putting myself in your shoes, I can see this might be really weird and out of the blue. But now my curiosity is peeked! I would love to connect some dots and perhaps express gratitude to my biological mother for following what I believe to be a divine plan. I have always felt like I was meant to be with my adoptive parents and am happy for eternal families.
Sorry for the long, random, rambling message! Would love to chat with you if you get the message and would like to talk.
Ryan
Ryan had sent several emails to other possible relatives at this point but had never heard back from any of them. This time felt different but no one knew what to expect. At some point that morning while they were all looking at pictures and trying to piece connections together someone said that maybe Vanitta was not his mom but his grandma. That seemed to fit time lines a little better. They were able to find a picture of one of her daughters that they thought was a possibility but they just didn’t know and wouldn’t know unless Perry contacted Ryan back. All four of them tried to go about their day and impatiently waited to hear something back.
Ryan had several scheduled meetings that day at noon, two and four. He left shortly after sending the email and went to his first meeting at noon. At 12:15 his phone rang and caller ID said Perry Turnbull across the top of his phone. He new it probably wouldn’t be a short conversation and was already in his meeting with a client so he sent it to voicemail then tried but utterly failed to focus on the next 45 minutes of his meeting.
Perry left a message. At 1pm Ryan walked out to his car to listen to the voicemail.
Transcription of Perry’s Message:
Hi Ryan, my name is Perry Turnbull and you sent me an email and a Facebook message today regarding your heritage and thanks so much for that message that was very thoughtfully written and sincere and um I believe Ryan, there is a very high likely hood that there is a direct connection between you and my sister and I would just love to talk to you about that and to fill you in with as much as I know and connect the dots as much as I am able. SO feel free to give me a call back at … and I will also respond to your email as well with some personal contact information and look for ward to chatting with you. Hope you have a great day and thanks for reaching out, take care. Bye.
Ryan was obviously emotional when he heard Perry’s message. He had just found out who is biological mother was! He had one hour until his next meeting but he new he couldn’t wait until the end of the day to call him back so he decided to call on his drive to his next meeting. He hit send and called Perry Turnbull back.
Once the sample had been sent in there wasn’t much to do but wait. Other then the surname of Turnbull and being born in Monett Missouri we didn’t really know any other information.
Kenny tried to hold true to his finding Ryan’s birth mom in 30 minutes. He had one or two people he thought were good possibilities but without the DNA he wasn’t willing to say anything with much commitment. Several weeks later after much anticipation, Ryan finally got the results. His health information came back pretty good. The things they were able to test and look for came back with no big red flags. It was nice for Ryan to have some peace of mind about some general health information. Learning more about his biology made Ryan realize his curiosity was definitely piqued and he wanted to know more about the ancestry side of his DNA. However, when he looked at those results there wasn’t much to see.
Kenny’s words.
Sitting on the couch at Ryan’s house while the girls were out shopping we somehow got on the topic of DNA/his biological mother. Ryan mentioned that he had looked on classmates.com at yearbooks torying to find a picture of her in Monett. Considering myself an amateur sleuth of sorts I offered my help and said I could probably find her in 30 minutes. Little did I know the task ahead of me. After researching for 2 weeks I thought I had found her (based on what we thought we knew). We decided to wait for 23&me DNA results to confirm, deny or shed any light on the subject. I remember it like it was yesterday. We were out to dinner with friends at Longhorn steakhouse when Ryan texted me with a picture of his closest DNA relatives. I looked at the list in disbelief! His CLOSEST match was 2%! I will never never forget Ryan’s next text to me. He simply wrote ‘work your magic’.
The lack of information available almost made the task of finding his birth mom more intriguing . Kenny and Ryan spent a lot of their free time looking and trying to find links to possible relatives. Ryan sent a few emails to relatives 23&Me said he was related to but never heard anything back. They both continued to talk and look into things together but Kenny made it a personal mission to figure this mystery out.
Too be completely honest I felt like I’d need some real magic to get anywhere. My next move was distinct, I looked at the list of relatives and prayed. I prayed that I would be able to know how to connect the dots. After the prayer I turned to google. I decided that if I could find one of these individuals family history pedigree charts I would have a better chance of finding either of Ryan’s biological parents. The first name was just initials so I moved to the second one immediately. The name was Reba Keele and it said she was from Utah. Turns our she is a professor of sorts and an author. One of the first pages I found on her actually listed her family info including parents names. With this info in hand I turned to family search. Knowing that only deceased ancestors appear on family search I put her parents names in. I got an immediate hit! Turns our the Keele family are LDS pioneers and have kept great records!! 23&Me had said that Ryan was a second cousin to the first 2 matches. I had an immediate sense of relief thinking I would close this case in a day!!!!!!! My excitement soon faded as I saw the number of relatives in this line. It seemed like every marriage had 10 kids! I hunted through this info everyday! Some nights I found myself unable to sleep or waking up with a new idea on where to look at 3am. I had searched all the second cousins!!!! No matches that fit.
Kenny spent weeks and hours of his time doing research for Ryan. The four of us would often talk together and there were several theory’s starting to form in our minds as we continued to run into dead ends. The biggest frustration was that we could not find the link in any of his known relatives to the Turnbull line. Kenny had looked through hundreds maybe even thousands of names and the Turnbull name never appeared. Was it a misdirection or a flat out lie? Maybe it was a single child of a single child and the line died out? Maybe Monett was not the right place…where would we even start to look if it wasn’t though? We were almost out of possibilities. Kenny suggested that Ryan get his DNA tested through ancestry.com because they had a bigger database to search. Ryan requested the kit and Kenny kept looking.
This continued for weeks. I decided to once again pray for direction as it seemed like I had lost traction. Shortly after the prayer I stumbled on an article discussing family DNA and how the DNA match percentages add up. It mentioned that at 2% someone might be a much more distant relative to these people then 23&Me indicated. I returned to family search with a renewed determination and decided to read all of the obituaries of the most recently deceased ancestors of Ryan to see if I could find any matching info (we had a last name and an approximate location). I started reading obituaries about 7:30pm. At 1:30am I was exhausted, I had read so many obituaries they were all blending together. I was reaching the end and had no new info. Just as I was about to call it a night I read one last obituary for Winifred Olsen. In the text it listed all of her children. The name hit me like a ton of bricks. Vanitta Turnbull of Arkansas! The location was close enough and the last name was a match!!! I couldn’t believe what I was reading! Had I really just found them??! My eyes began to swell with tears as I knew in my heart I had found Ryan’s biological family! The fact that is was 1:30 am was so irrelevant given the exciting news I decided I had to call Ryan. I texted him first and to my shock he responded back immediately letting me know he was still winding down from a basketball game he played earlier or he would have been asleep. I texted him the following in all caps “I FOUND YOUR MOM!” He immediately called me in disbelief but the more we talked it became more and more real. This was her! I hadn’t been able to sleep for 2 months! I found my head constantly running through new scenarios of where to look but now it was done! As I slept that night I found myself in a very emotional state. I could only imagine what Ryan was going through but even being involved on just the search side had given me a little glimpse of it. The next day brought MANY phone calls between Ryan and my myself. Who do you call to reach out too? Which family member? The events that have transpired from all of this are nothing short of wonderful!
Ryan and Janae have talked several times since then about how without Kenny’s help and sleuthing skills and the dozens and dozens of hours he spent researching we may never have found the link we needed to lead us to his biological family. As they have shared this story with others many have commented on what an amazing true friend and brother Kenny is to dedicate so much of his time and energy to helping Ryan. He is the hero in this story. Ryan and Janae couldn’t agree more.
We had a wonderful Easter and General Conference weekend. We tried to keep the weekend clear from any extra curricular activities, and it worked! It seems like October General Conference is always harder to do that, but sometimes we don’t get our wish in April either. I am glad it was successful this year.
Conference was really good. The kids didn’t listen with rapture or anything but they stayed within hearing range without any complaining. With any luck hopefully a few things soaked into their heads.
Our cousins and Grandpa came over after the first session on Sunday. Grandma was going to try but she was having a rough day so she didn’t come. Ryan couldn’t decide what to smoke- ham with traditional cheesy potatoes, rolls, and salad. Or pulled pork tacos with fresh slaw and strawberries. So he did both. We had a lot of yummy food, and my favorite, we have a lot of yummy leftovers so I don’t have to cook the next day or two.
We watched the last conference session after we ate then Ross and Ryan went over to see their mom and played a game at her house while the rest of us hung out at our house. The weather was a beautiful 75 degrees. The kids wanted to get out the slip-n-slide. I was a mean mom and nixed their idea though.
The Easter Bunny was slacking this year and fell asleep early before getting the job done. Luckily Emilee came in to our room and woke us up first so I could go get the Easter Bunny on the job without her noticing.
It was a great Easter weekend. I enjoyed remembering and celebrating Easter. I am grateful for my Savior, His sacrifice, and His resurrection.
My son is coming up with new ways to stress me out the past few months. He has had an unofficial girlfriend (whatever that means) for a while but it is still new for me. I’d rather him not have a girlfriend at all until he is 25 but since it isn’t all my decision, I will make the best out of it. She is a sweet girl and they are really good friends. I picked up his phone and saw this as his screen saver the other day and had a combination ‘What the #@%$!’ and ‘Oh that’s sweet.’ moment. Be cool mom. Be cool.
Once again Ryan and Matthew feel like life makes sense and is complete again. Baseball started. Matthew was able to finish he physical therapy for his leg/ankle about two weeks before the first game. He was very glad he made it in time to play, he is still a little behind because he didn’t get to practice as hard or as much as everyone else but he is working at getting back to 100%. There is two teams that work out and practice together. For the opening season tournaments both teams ended up in the final game. Matt’s ended up coming in first officially but both teams had a great opening weekend.
This is another tournament they played in a few weeks later. They ended up winning the tournament for their division. Matthew has had a bit of dry spell for hitting. This tournament he got two doubles and he was pretty happy about it. We all were.
The following is the beginning of several posts that I want to write to help remember an important part of Ryan’s life. Ryan was adopted at birth. He always new he was adopted, it was never a secret, just a fact. He also knew that he was meant to be with his adopted parents. Roger and Rhonda were always supposed to raise him, for some reason Heavenly Father chose to get Ryan to them in a more round about way, but Ryan always felt and always knew they were supposed to be his parents. He was sealed to them shortly after his first birthday in the temple and Roger and Rhonda, his siblings, and all his aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins are sealed together for eternity. He has always felt loved and cared for and known he was where he was supposed to be. He has also felt a piece of him missing or not complete, a small wondering that sometimes grew. He had similar features as his dad and brother but he didn’t know his biological history and ties. He couldn’t say he inherited traits or personality from his mom or a grandpa, or had the same features as a cousin or sibling. A few months ago Ryan decided to make the decision to dig in and see where his DNA led him. This is his story to the best of my recollection. I wasn’t there for all of it so some are stories other have shared with me. I want it to be as accurate as I can so as I learn more things or talk with others I will add and change things if I need too. It is an amazing story and it is full of many small and large miracles and tender mercies that have guided and directed Ryan and his family (adopted and biological) throughout their lives. With new events of the past few months some of these miracles can now start to be discovered and realized. Ryan’s story is a testimony to me that Heavenly Father is actively involved in each of our lives. He knows and loves us as individuals and has a plan.
On June 19, 1979 a little boy with fiery red hair was born in Monett Missouri. His birth mom loved him fiercely but her life wasn’t on the path that she wanted it to be to guarantee him a happy, stable, gospel centered home. Despite the inability to guarantee any outcome with any choice she made, with confirmation from the Holy Ghost, she made the hard, heartbreaking decision to give the little boy up for adoption. After being born, she signed the final paperwork and Baby Boy Turnbull was turned over for adoption. For the rest of her life she would not know what happened to her child. His location, hair color, likes, dislikes, strengths, talents, struggles, favorite foods, even his name, would all be a mystery and an ache in her heart.
That same day Rhonda Terry was at work going about her day. She and her husband, Roger, had been trying to have children for several years. Several months earlier after tests, doctor visits, and many prayers they decided to begin the process to adopt a baby through LDS Adoption Services. Once the numerous and long steps were complete, they were told to wait, they would be contacted when they had a baby for them to adopt. That particular day in June while she was sitting at her desk she had the thought come to her mind, “Your son is here.” She immediately called the social worker assigned to her and said, “My son was born today. When can I come get him?” This initially caused a bit of chaos. At that time the adoption process was closed, which meant everything was private and personal information was kept secret from all involved parties, except the social worker. The social worker was more then a little concerned that someone had leaked information to Rhonda and voiced that he could lose his job over this. Rhonda was, and still is, a very religious person and told the social worker that the Holy Ghost, not another social worker had told her about the birth of her son. He was very relieved and told her that in fact a baby boy had been born and the paper work was in process for him to be given to her and Roger. There was a slight hold up with paperwork due to the fact the baby would be crossing state lines from Missouri to Kansas.
The paperwork snag took six weeks to resolve. In the mean time Baby Boy Turnbull was taken from his birth mom and given to a sweet lady in a foster home to watch him until Roger and Rhonda could take him permanently. When the day finally arrived Roger and Rhonda anxiously met the social worker to bring home their baby for the first time. They were loving, happy, excited parents. Rhonda immediately began making up for lost time and embraced him as her son and began healing the loss of losing his first two earthly connections his birth mom and the foster parent of six weeks. For a time Ryan was not content with anyone holding him but Rhonda. After finishing the full adoption process and jumping through all the legal hoops and check lists, Baby Boy Turnbull was legally adopted and given his name of Ryan Evert Terry. His wife still remembers reading his adoption papers for the first time and getting chills at the very last sentence when is says his name is hereby changed from Baby Boy Turnbull to Ryan Evert Terry.
Ryan grew up in Manhattan Kansas. His parents adopted a baby girl a few years later. Then to their surprise ended up getting pregnant and having two more biological children. It was never a secret that he or his sister were adopted, it was something that he always new. He always felt like he was a part of his family and he loved and was loved by all his family members, immediate and extended. Around 5th grade her remembers when the teacher asked if anyone in the class was adopted. He raised his hand and then remembers being a little shocked to see that he was the only one. He didn’t realize it was something different about him from most other people.
Throughout his life people would ask him about being adopted. It just was what it was for him and he didn’t give it to much thought. As he got older people began asking him if he ever wondered about his birth mom. His inward thoughts varied from slight curiosity to a tinge of bitterness in not being wanted to gratitude for his family and the life he had and was grateful for. His out loud answer was usually along the lines of, “Mmmm not really.” At large family reunions he would occasionally notice and think that while he knew these people were his family, he wondered what it would be like to look like someone, and have a biological connection to someone.
He lived in Manhattan Kansas and made life long friend ships and memories there until he left for college in the Fall of 1997. His family, himself, and most of his extended family were all faithful devoted members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. About a year after bringing Ryan home he was sealed to his parents for time and all eternity in the temple on May 30, 1980 in the Idaho Falls, Idaho Temple. He was an active, happy boy. He loved to play with friends and ride bikes and explore the neighborhood. His dad was active in Boy Scouts and helped Ryan and his brother, Ross, get their Eagle Scout Award. As he got older he played basketball, baseball, and football. He also learned to play and was pretty decent at the trumpet for several years. He was a good student and decided he wanted to go to college to become an engineer.
Ryan was blessed to know his mind and self pretty early. His parents taught him right from wrong and he developed his own testimony of The Gospel and Heavenly Father and his Savior. He has a very logical mind and has always been a confident decision maker. After attending Ricks College for a year in Idaho, he went on a mission for his church to Bolivia in South America for two years. When he finished his mission, he went back to Ricks College in the Fall of 2000 to finish another year before transferring to Utah State to complete his engineering degree.
Ryan and Janae met in August 2000 and started dating in October of 2000. After several months of dating and getting to know each other they were spending another evening talking about anything and everything they could think of. At one point Janae asked Ryan to tell her something about him that she didn’t already know. He told her that he was adopted. She asked him the typical follow up questions people tend to ask when they find out someone is adopted. How old were you when you were adopted? (at birth) When did you find out? (I’ve known as long as I can remember) Have you ever wanted to find your birth mom? (Not really) After a few minutes we moved on to another topic.
Ryan did go to Utah State for a year (2001-2002) but when he and Janae got married in May 2002 they moved back to Kansas to finish both of their schooling.
Over the years after they were married, occasionally the topic came up between them, or with his parents, or by other people that new or found out and wanted to ask questions. Other than his mom telling the story of his adoption the questions were usually the same as the ones Janae asked when they talked about it the first time while they were dating. With the progression of his life from child to adult to husband, to father, some of his thoughts about his own birth started evolving in his mind too. He found himself thinking and occasionally voicing different thoughts about his adoption like;
“Sometimes I’m curious but I don’t want to look.”
“I wonder if I have siblings, or half siblings.”
“My kids are the only DNA relatives I know.”
“I’m curious about my health history.”
“I’ve started to wonder about her sometimes. I’m grateful for my life and glad I have it. She could have made a different choice then adoption.”
When COVID started in 2020 Ryan worked from home but it was a little slow. Everything was slow. Like most people all the projects that had been put off forever were finally done and then they had to start getting creative with things to keep them busy. Ryan new very little about his biological mom other then where he was born and the last name Turnbull. Which is a Scottish name. One of the shows that was binged watched during this time had a lot of Scottish ancestry in it and it kind of piqued their curiosity about Ryan’s ancestry. One afternoon the topic of looking into his health history came up. There was a flurry of investigating to figure out what is would take to look into finding out who his birth parents were. Janae even printed off a request for sealed documents for Ryan to fill out and send in to the State of Missouri if he wanted. Work began picking up again and it was left on his dresser in a pile of papers that got deeper and deeper.
Over Christmas that same year, Kenny and Sherri came to visit. It wasn’t the first time Kenny had asked Ryan about his adoption but the topic came up again. Kenny loves solving a good mystery and considers himself a good internet sleuth. When Ryan mentioned he was more and more curious about his healthy history Kenny was all over him to send in a DNA test. This particular conversation, Ryan’s curiosity got the best of him and he decided to do it. Kenny also told Ryan when he was ready to let him know and he bet him he could find his birth mom within 30 minutes. Ryan decided instead of hovering around the door and wondering he would finally open it and see where it lead him. He ordered the kit from 23 and Me. It arrived a few days later. He filled it out and submitted his sample.
About 42 years earlier…When Baby Boy Turnbull’s mom was about 6 months pregnant, she went and stayed with a foster family for the last few months of her pregnancy. She was only with them for three months but developed a strong friendship with the wife of that family and kept in contact with her for years afterwards. Eventually their contact lessened and then stopped. Around Christmas in 2020 after years of not speaking with each other, the foster mom called Baby Boy Turnbull’s mom and said she had been on her mind and she wanted to see how she was doing and they reconnected.
The Book of Mormon and the Prophets and apostles have told us the closer we get to the second coming the harder it will be to determine right from wrong. Even from looking at society values and morals thirty years ago up to now, which seems like a long time but it isn’t, I can see how quickly something can crumble and change and people can be used and turned against each other. Satan is trying to make us see people not as people but as a threat or inconsequential, and turn us against each other and he is getting more and more successful at it.
In the past few years I’ve seen friends and family that I thought were rocks in their beliefs and knowledge of God and The Gospel, crumble and fall. It has been on my mind a lot lately. In the church it is mentioned a lot that the children and upcoming generations are going to have to be stronger and more firm then ever before to be able to navigate their futures and keep their testimonies and relationship with God strong and unbreakable. As a mom that is often on my mind, along with the worries am I teaching my kids enough. Ryan and I have had many conversations (and will have many more) and drive the kids crazy sometimes with out talks about knowing their responsibilities to learn, apply, search, study, strengthen and then repeat over and over to maintain a strong unshakable testimony of the gospel and their purpose in their lives on earth. Lately, I’ve had the desire to write it down for them to hopefully read later when I am not as present in their lives as I am now and remind them again.
The words true/right, and wrong/false, are often used interchangeably in conversation. I believe there are truths, rights, falsehoods and wrongs, and we make our choices based on what we believe those to be. However, I don’t believe those words are interchangeable. Recently, when I was reading the Book of Mormon I noticed that the word truth is used almost exclusively, instead of right or wrong. I say ‘almost exclusively’ because since pondering this thought I haven’t re-read the entire Book of Mormon to compare and see how often each word is used but what I have read specifically uses the word truth when referring to the correct way, instead of right. I think the Lord is very intentional on what words are used in the scriptures so I started thinking about that choice of word, truth verses right.
There is generally an agreeing consensus among the majority of a group of people on what is right and what is wrong. These consensuses are somewhat firm but right or wrong can change and even have some grey area, due to new information, discoveries, circumstances, societal pressure and so forth.
Then there are truths. Truths are absolute. Truths are not changeable based on political, societal, personal or even religious beliefs. Truths can not be changed but they can be accepted or rejected. Accepted or rejected truths define political, societal, personal, and religious decisions for a person. They make us what we are. Truths don’t change based on whether you believe them or not and full or partial understanding of a truth does not change it as truth. Truths are not fluid like decisions and even right and wrong. For something to be a truth does not mean it is perfectly or completely understood. Truths can have varying degrees of consequence or influence. In my life my list of absolute truths is not very long but it caries more weight and influence then any other aspect of my life. It helps provide clarity in areas of my life that can get murky. Accepting or rejecting a truth leads to accepting or rejecting other related truths.
Decisions (aka choices) are made based on information, facts, emotions, opinions, knowledge, ignorance, life experiences, right, wrong, truths, or the complete lack of some or any of these things.
In my head I envision a giant net made of all truths. Individual truths form a chain and link with all other truths, creating the net. God has a perfect complete net and knows ALL truths. We don’t. I don’t.
As individuals, we are each aware of different truths and learn and expand on different truths throughout our lives. Some have more truths then others. We are each forming our own net of truths throughout our lives. When a truth is learned, or accepted that link is galvanized and strengthened and can lead to other truths. Some truths we learn might start in the middle of the chain, and links can be made going in multiple directions. Chains can be stronger and more complete in some areas then others. Multiple parts or chains can be growing at different times and eventually they will all come together and form a giant net of truths. I think there are some critical links we can connect and grow during this life but I don’t think it is possible to have a complete perfect net in this life. I also think faith can be used as a link to connect parts of our nets when our understanding and knowledge of truths are not complete. Facts are often considered truth-especially from a science perspective. The flaw with assuming facts are absolute truths is it is not always possible to know when a complete truth is known. Sometimes facts can change if more truth is found or revealed.
This is some of my chain of truths in relation to God.
A persons truths are the pillars of who they are. If a person accepts a truth and later rejects it (or vice versa), any decision or choice previously made based on that truth has to be remade. Some truths have more of an impact on our lives then others.
Sherri is having a baby boy at the end of April so we decided to have a girls get together while we had the chance. We kept it close to her this time. DeAnna and I flew out to Tampa and stayed at Sherri’s and my mom lives there now too so we got to all hang out together.
I was the last to arrive so the three of them picked me up and we had a great lunch at a Cuban restaurant when they picked me up from the airport. We caught up on all the latest happenings in our lives and walked along the river walk afterwards.
Love these lovely ladies!
We went on an air boat for a swamp tour, did some shopping, got our nails done, and painted some pottery. The time in between we spent getting some sun around Sherri’s newly finished pool, playing games, watching a movie, and talking. It was a wonderful weekend. The weather was 85 and perfect the whole time, I am so excited for Spring to get to Kansas. Their company was what made the weekend though. It was a great time as usual.
This post has nothing to do with basketball. The title is just referring to our regular lives and happenings.
Allison has wanted to have colored hair for a while so we finally got around to it. She loves it and the attention she gets with it.
We caught Grandpa surfing his phone…I mean taking a nap while he thought he was surfing his phone.
Ryan and I booked our 20th anniversary cruise for next May 2022. We are pretty excited! We decided on our 10th anniversary this is what we wanted to do. It is going to be awesome!
I was out of town and Ryan had the pleasure of taking the kids to church on his own. Whenever this happens he makes a point of getting the kids there 20 minutes early and rubbing it in my face because we usually screech in right on time. He did it again this time, but stepped up his game by having the Bishop send me the picture of my smiling family arriving to church 20 minutes early, instead of him. I think he is implying that I am the reason everyone is late but that is a bunch of garbage. He also sent me a picture of Emilee and her decision of what to wear to church that day. The girl rocks her own style.
I met Ryan at a parking lot the other day and noticed a new addition to his car. This is his required license plate cover for the next month or so. He forgot to mention it to me, but like I said, I noticed, and have made sure it is now documented. What a good sport he is! I will also note that it had recently snowed and there was still snow on the roads so that is the reason for the atrociously egregious filthy condition of his beloved car. Under usual conditions it is spotless.
Another first for our family. Matthew went into have some tests done to check out his growth hormone levels. He had to get an IV that he was trying to play cool for but he was pretty nervous. When he was six and had to have some blood drawn it took me (7 months pregnant with Allison) and two male nurses to hold him still enough for the third nurse to draw the blood. His self control and braveness have improved a lot in the past 8 years as you might expect. He handled it like a champ.
I saw this little meme somewhere on my phone the other day and screen shot it because it is true and a good reminder.
Allison and dad got their garden started. They planted a salad/salsa garden. There will be lots of peppers, lettuce, tomatoes, onions, cucumbers, and pea plant just for me.
The Straw
About a week and a half ago Ryan went over and to see his parents. Rhonda was not making a lot of sense and said she didn’t feel well. Everyone came over for dinner to our house on the next day and she was still acting a little weird. Both Roger and Rhonda kind of blew it off and said she would be ok. The next day we texted them and they said she was better. Tuesday night after we had dinner Ryan said he wanted to go and check on her in person so we went over to say hello. She was not doing better. Roger was flustered because he had just found out she had taken her morning pills for morning and night for the past several days and had not taken any of her night pills. He kept asking her why and what she did and she was caught in the same loop of a thirty second story that ended with her staring at the pills in her hand and trying to count them. Roger thought if she took the pills everything would be fine. Rhonda thought she had taken the pills. Ryan was trying to explain that the pills had nothing to do with it, she had been loopy long before the pill mix up and she needed to go to the hospital because he thought she was having a stroke. It got a little awkward especially when Ryan said either we take her to the hospital or call an ambulance to come get her. They kind of threw up their hands and said fine they would go.
Week One.
She ended up spending a week in the hospital. She was not having a stroke. That was a relief to know. She would have likely gone into kidney failure and died if she had waited to much longer to go to the hospital. The initial tests showed her calcium levels were way to high and her kidneys weren’t working as great as they should be. She was also severely dehydrated. The first few days were spent trying to balance here mineral levels and rehydrating her with a constant IV. The calcium levels being so high is what was making her not be able to think clearly. They figured out what the problem pretty quickly was but weren’t sure what was causing the problem in the first place.
Several Months Previously
Rhonda noticed that she had a lymph node in her neck that was swollen. She had recently had an ear infection so she thought it was residual from that but after several different antibiotics and several weeks it hadn’t changed much. She went in and had an ultrasound done and they were planning on removing it. When she went into have it removed the ENT said he didn’t think they needed to remove it, they would just continue to monitor it and in the mean time, she should try some coconut herbal toothpaste to see if it helped. (This doctor is now referred to as The Lazy Moron).
Back to the hospital.
After a few days in the hospital Roger and Rhonda mentioned the incident with the swollen lymph node to the doctors. They did an exam and found that she had enlarged lymph nodes in her neck, under her arms, and in her groin. They scheduled a surgery to remove a piece of her lymph node for biopsy. The doctor who did her surgery asked to say a prayer with her before they went in. Roger mentioned that this brought him comfort and he appreciated the doctors genuine concern. Then the waiting for results started. The doctor who did the surgery told them that from his experience and what he saw he thought it was most likely lymphoma but results would need to be verified. Because he thought this, he removed a larger portion so they could do follow up tests they would want to do if it did turn out to be lymphoma. By doing this the doctor moved the treatment process forward at least two weeks. I personally appreciated the doctors efforts and concern but was a little upset that he would throw out the ‘C’ word without an official diagnosis. We all prayed that he was wrong.
Waiting
The results took several days to come back. In the mean time, Rhonda stayed in the hospital and they continued to monitor her mineral levels-specifically calcium and vitamin D, and her kidneys. Another possible diagnosis of sarcoidosis was mentioned. We hoped that this would be the case, her symptoms checked the boxes for sarcoidosis more than lymphoma symptoms and treatment and management seemed more manageable. Results were said to come in on Monday or Tuesday. We had about four more days to wait. Roger stayed at the hospital with Rhonda during the day and then came home to sleep at night. Ryan, Ross and I went to the hospital as often as we could to offer company or give Roger a chance to take a break for a few hours. Roger and Rhonda were both scheduled to get their COVID vaccine on Friday but Rhonda had to cancel her appointment which caused both of them more stress. Roger was able to get his first one though. On Monday I went to spend the afternoon with them. Rhonda was doing pretty good, her mind was clear and she was annoyed at all the poking and prodding and constant interruption from nurses, doctors, physical therapy, cleaners, lab technicians, and having to use the restroom every hour because of all the fluids they were putting in her. She had been there long enough that there was a sense of routine. Roger likes to have a plan and be helpful. He has cared for and helped Rhonda for decades since they have been married. That care has gotten more intense for him the past twenty years as different parts of her health have declined and her body struggles in different ways. It was sweet to watch him brush her hair and rub her head. He knows how to help her move and reposition herself so she is as comfortable as possible.
Results
Roger had an appointment at the same hospital Rhonda was staying and was going to be gone for an hour or so. Rhonda was feeling tired so he helped her use the restroom and got her all tucked in for a nap before he left. I got comfy and started reading a book. About two minutes after she fell asleep they came in a woke her up to take her vitals. She fell back asleep then someone came in to clean her room. Just as she dozed off again the nurse came in and woke her up because she had a phone call and handed the phone to Rhonda. I asked the nurse who it was and she said it was her doctor. Since Rhonda was having some memory issues I went over and listened so I could hear in case she couldn’t remember everything he said. I heard him say, “I’m sorry it isn’t better news. The Oncologist will be there to talk with you in the next few hours.” Then he hung up. Rhonda just looked at me. I asked her what he said. She said, “I have malignant lymphoma.” Just like that the world went silent and crashed in around us. Our lives were changing forever and Rhonda was in a fight for her life. I told her I was so sorry and gave her a hug. She told me she didn’t want to die. I curled up next to her in her bed, held her and we cried together. After a few minutes I sent Roger a text telling him to come back as soon as he could and I texted Ryan. He left work and came to see her. We spent the next 45 minutes crying and talking. She was shocked and overwhelmed. We both were, I didn’t know what to do for her. It was hard being the one to get the news with her but I was so glad she wasn’t alone. I was angry the doctor told her the way he did. What if she had been alone or foggy and didn’t remember. I mostly just held her and we cried together. She wanted to know if she was going to make it another Christmas, how long she had, what to do next. She wanted her purse to give me some money to pass on to Ethan because it was his birthday that day. She wanted me to promise her things I would do for her. Ryan got there not to long after I called him. He came in and joined us on the bed. It wasn’t easy to fit three adults and all her cords and equipment on a single bed so I gave him my spot and moved to a chair and held her hand. Right after that the oncologist came in. Roger wasn’t back yet so we asked her to come back, she said she would in 45 minutes. Roger came back about 5 minutes after she left. He hadn’t seen my text so we told him the news. There wasn’t a lot to talk about. We all just sat there together and waited for the 40 minutes to pass until the oncologist came back. It felt like a week.
The Oncologist
I think we were all silently willing her to come back. Doctors say they will come back in a ‘few minutes’ all the time and its hours or even days. The whole process is enough to drive you insane. She did come back when she said she would to our relief. She said it was Large B Cell Lymphoma. She was ordering some additional tests to be done so they could narrow in on the specific treatment that would be best for her. This type of cancer is considered aggressive but the positive side to that is aggressive cancers respond well to chemotherapy. The negative side is that they have to treat it aggressively. Reading between the lines the biggest obstacle for Rhonda will be handling and surviving the treatment. It will take a lot out of her and her body is already dealing with a lot with all her other health conditions aside from the cancer. Lymphomas are considered curable though and her chances are good. I asked about what stage it is in. Lymphoma is different from other cancers in relation to what the stages mean. In localized cancers the stages refer to the level of cancer. The higher the number the worse the chances of recovery. With Lymphoma, the stage refers to the number of areas the cancer has spread in the body. They know there are two areas for sure (neck and under arms) the tests/scans will show them if its in her abdomen(stage 3) and legs(stage 4). However, chances for success are the same for stage 1 as they are for stage 4 with lymphoma. We didn’t felt like we knew a ton more after we talked with the oncologist but the plans were set in motion to define and start the treatment Rhonda will need.
Now What.
At drastic events in my life I often have a weird feeling of time freezing. The shock forms a little bubble around me and it seems like everything else just stops. Eventually it pops and you are startled that the world still exists and is moving on. When Rhonda got the news and told me I felt like we were in one of those bubbles. When the oncologist finished talking to us and left the room the bubble popped. Everyone is left with a ‘what do we do now’ feeling. It is all a little surreal, emerging from the bubble puts a slightly different hue and feeling to life and what was familiar just hours before is now a little different. Ryan and I wanted to give Roger and Rhonda time to digest and talk about everything. Ethan had a birthday dinner, Roger and Rhonda were not going to come obviously but the rest of us wanted to attend and prolong life the way they new it, before finding out, a little bit longer. Ryan and I were in separate cars so I left to get the kids. He left a few minutes later and met us at the restaurant. I don’t remember the drive or the rest of that night very much. My mind was trying to reconcile the my old and new reality. I also kept thinking I couldn’t fathom how Rhonda was feeling.
Home.
They let Rhonda go home the next day. She was stable but still weak and now had the added emotional and mental burden of knowing her condition. She did want to get home and was happy to sleep in her own bed. She has been given several blessings. Her and Roger spent the next week adjusting and getting the tests done to see what treatment will work best. They had the appointment to find out what the plan was and start it scheduled on a Friday. Right before they left for the appointment they found out it had been rescheduled to Monday. They had been in good spirits and had a positive outlook when I had seen them up to this point. I think rescheduling the appointment was a discouraging blow for them. If it were me, everyday of waiting would feel like one more day of letting the enemy cancer cells in my body entrench themselves even more. Ross and Ryan have been stopping by to visit and help almost everyday.
The New Normal
Roger called Ryan last night and he helped take her to the hospital again. She was really weak and tired and Roger was worried about her. They didn’t admit her but gave her more fluids and checked her mineral levels. Sleep would be best for her, she doesn’t sleep more than an hour or so without getting up to use the restroom. Roger has to help her so this means he doesn’t either. Roger had high blood pressure before all this happened. He admitted that he has some tightness in his chest now too. We are worried about him too. He does a great job caring for Rhonda but that is the only thing he is doing. He needs to find something to give him a break and let out his own stress and frustrations. So far he hasn’t been interested in any of our suggestions but we will try again once they have her treatment started. Ryan and I are glad they are close and can call anytime. This is going to be a marathon, not a sprint and it will take lots of support and help from lots of people to get through it.
Our Kids.
The kid knew Grandma had been in the hospital. They all made her cards and sent her pictures but because of COVID they couldn’t go to the hospital to visit her. Rhonda wants them to be around and still see them, she thinks it will help her stamina and emotionally to see and interact with them. Ryan and Ross and I agree. Roger is concerned about COVID and stressed that having grandkids around might cause more stress than good. We are working on a happy solution for everyone. We had a little family meeting this week and told our kids about Grandma and what the doctors found out. Emilee is young enough that she doesn’t quite grasp the gravity of it and seems to be doing ok. Matthew asked some questions and is worried and willing to help anyway he can, he seems to be doing ok also. Allison is a little more concerning to me. She knows what cancer is and that you can die from it. She is really close to Rhonda. She didn’t say much when we told them and hasn’t gone over to see her since. I have tried to talk with her a little but I think the best thing for Allison is to give her some time to digest the news then she will be ready to support her Grandma.
We have a long road ahead of us, I hope that we can all help and do what we need to do.
Peanut took a trip to the vet this week. Allison was concerned with his foot and thought his belly was bothering him so I appeased her by taking him in for a checkup. He is doing about as great as can be expected for a guinea pig. The Doctor (who ironically is extremly allergic to guinea pigs) said she is doing a great job at taking care of him. They trimmed his nails while we were there to which I appreciated as Peanuts current nail trimmer.
She rewarded him with a new enclosure in his cage to burrow in. The old one was made of plastic. The new one is made of wood so he can snuggle in it and chew on it. He is a well loved Guinea Pig.
The week of Valentine’s is upon us. It was a pretty normal week. The weather was not normal. About a week ago we were apparently transported to the South Pole and have been in sub zero temperatures or single digit at the most all week and have another week of it coming. Luckily we haven’t had any frozen pipes yet…several of our neighbors and friends have. Grandma and Grandpa Terry have as well.
Emilee had a really fun basketball game this week. Both teams were made up of kids from her school so they all new each other and wanted to have bragging rights on Monday. Emilee’s team ended up winning in double over time 16 to 14. She has fun and does well when she plays but it is still a fight to get her to go. There is always whining and crying and wailing pre-game to see if she can get out of going. I hope some of the excitement from this game will carry over long enough to keep her excited to play again next week.
As far as Valentine Festivities, this year my efforts were in the mid to lower range. I did find some tiny little notes decorated for valentines that fold up into an envelope that I left with little chocolate candy hearts in several places for my family. It made me laugh that each individual came to me separately and asked where my stash of chocolate candy hearts were.
Emilee made me a few glitter soaked heart valentine’s that were adorable. Allison and Leah hung decorated hearts all over in our room. They are very whimsical and I like seeing them float above me when I am in bed. They also made a giant cute card for Lauren and I that said ‘To the Bomb Momz’ it made us chuckle. Matthew let me hug him more than usual this week. So all the kids put some effort into showing a little extra love which made me happy.
Ryan took me out to dinner and let me pick the sappy romance movie we watched. I picked The Age of Adeline. It is one of my favorites. He stayed awake the whole time and said it was not to bad for a romance. We each got each other a small gift and it was pretty funny because we got each other the same thing. We both picked some fancy chocolates that look like they are hand painted. They are called Christopher Elbow chocolates. Neither one of us ever talked to each other about it or had tried them but we both got them for each other.
We went to dinner with Ross and Lauren one night this week too. Afterwards we tried a new cookie place that opened up called Crumbl Cookies. It was delicious. I am glad it isn’t to convenient of a location to my house so I won’t visit all the time.
The kids had parent teachers conference this week, which just means they didn’t have school for 4 days so the teachers can do a 5 minute zoom conference with half the parents. I was working one of the days they were off and Allison decided to entertain herself with various crafts. She has made almost everyone she know a book mark. She has a list of weekly goals and plans to achieve them. While she was entertaining herself she came across some googly eyes in the craft drawer. When I came home there were eyeballs all over the place.
The Chiefs made it to the Super Bowl for the second year in a row. Last year they won, this year they did not. It seems like whenever I get excited about a game and sit down and actually watch it, it ends up being a pretty boring game.
We had a plethora of snacks and food to eat while we watched. Matthew’s baseball team sold Chief shirts for a fundraiser so we all had those on. We stuffed ourselves and got comfy to sit and watch and awesome game and were all thoroughly disappointed. It was probably the worst game they have had all season and post season. Bummer. There has been an overlying grumpy sadness to Kansas City today. I was over it yesterday about 5 minutes after the game but Ryan is going to need a day or two. Hopefully next year. They were talking on the radio today about how it will be kicking the team while they are down leaving Tampa Florida and its 75 degree weather and coming home to Kansas City blizzard with a high of 7 degrees all week. A few of those days are supposed to be below zero for the high.
We get sent a lot of treats at our dental office from other offices that we refer to, someone sent us this Patrick Mahomes cake. It is his hair and head band that he always wears. It was pretty cute.
Allison had her first of three meets this past weekend. Each gymnast is only allowed to bring two people so she invited me and Grandpa. It was in Blue Springs which is about 50 minutes away and it was snowing so it was an exciting drive to and from. Grandpa wanted to drive but I insisted so his blood pressure was a little high while we were in the car but we all survived. It was nice to have his company while we watched Allison do her events.
She took 10th in the whole meet overall, 6th on the floor routine. She did really good on the Vault and Uneven bars as well. The beam was a bit of a struggle for her this time, she fell off twice but she has another meet in a few weeks and is looking forward to getting a better score on that.
We went to dinner afterwards at Culver’s and Grandpa got us all a yummy bacon cheeseburger.
Grandpa Terry has his birthday in January. It is his last year of his 60’s. Usually for your birthday you have someone else make your meal, at least I do, but for his birthday he invited us and Ross’ family all to dinner at his house and made us a ‘farm meal’ which was mashed potatoes, gravy, roast and green beans. Then for dessert we had a raspberry cheese cake. It was nice to get to see him on his birthday. This might be the first time we have spent it with him because it is in January and we don’t usually travel a lot in January.
For his gift we got him some Chief socks and a sweatshirt so he has some gear to wear for games.
I think this is as good as place as any to add a funny grandpa story. Now that we live by Grandpa we have learned that he has a particular way he does things. Everybody does of course, sometimes those things are more…neurotic then others.
Grandpa likes his house to be in perfect working order like it is brand new. He works very hard at keeping things cleaned and well taken care of. When he moved into the new house he went around and made sure EVERY single nail hole was filled in and sanded and repainted so there weren’t any unused nail holes on the walls. He also likes to use or reuse things until they can’t be used anymore. No matter how long it takes to clean or maintain or craft something to fix it, if it can be fixed he will fix it. He likes to save money and he does not like to throw perfectly good items away. This means he washes plastic silverware or cups in the dishwasher. He also uses plastic sacks from the grocery store (about two gallon size sacks) in his 13 gallon garbage can so he doesn’t waste the sacks. When there are 12 people over for dinner you can imagine how quickly those fill up. But we all have little things that have the potential to drive other people a little crazy, and we love Grandpa so we just smile, sometimes roll our eyes and empty the trash 12 times when we go over and wash the disposable silverware.
One of the times we were over we noticed a new frugal fix that he had come up with and it made me giggle. Exhibit A
What is this you might be wondering. It looks like a measuring cup from the top of a bottle of medicine screwed to the wall. You would be correct. It is a piece of trash screwed to the wall. What possible reason is there for this? When you see what it is for you might think it is actually pretty resourceful, and is it, but since he is not a 19 year old boy living in a college dorm room it is a little silly. Exhibit B.
We love Grandpa Terry and his fix it skills. 😁🤣😘
We got back Allison’s team gymnastic pictures. She has the prints hanging up in her room, but I took a picture of the pictures to have in the family blog.
She set a goal to work on her back flip, tuck, and handspring this year. Last week on the trampoline she got it down. She has had the skills for a while, she has been working on the nerves to trust herself and do it. She has a couple nasty trampoline burns on her face but she is confident enough to do them well on the trampoline now. Next step is applying it to land.
Last Sunday the kids were making their own pyramids and then I believe it was Aunt Lauren that helped them realize with the all the adults they had enough people to make one more layer.
Allison struggled with knowing what she wanted to ask for for Christmas this year. Ryan and I decided that she would like to have an experience and make some memories instead of a physical gift. We came up with an indoor sky diving experience. Luckily we were right, and she was thrilled.
Shortly after the new year we scheduled her sky diving experience. It was for her and one other person so she asked me to go with her.
It was a lot of fun, it was a lot harder then we thought it would be, we were exhausted when we were done and sore the next day. It was loud and cold. But it was worth it and we had a good time. We haven’t told the rest of the family yet but we got a good deal on a family skydiving package when we were done so we got that and will take everyone sometime soon. We are waiting for Matthew’s leg to heal.
Here are the pictures and videos of us.
Well, 2021 is off to a good start in the Terry home. We took down all the Christmas decorations. When all the decorations are down everything always looks clean and decluttered so it triggers me to declutter and dejunk every drawer, cabinet, nook and cranny in our house. I have made it through the main floor and the upstairs. I have a little left to do in the kitchen and then the basement. Our trashcan has been overflowing the past two weeks, and the donation pile is piled high and ready to go to the salvation army. It is such a satisfying feeling to know there is no trash and no useless items in any drawers or cupboards.
Other aspects of our lives are continuing on as well, of course. Ryan is working and doing well at his job. I am working at Smiley Dental part time. We are still having church every week alternating between watching it at home or doing our own sacrament meeting, and going in person with half our ward at a time. We have to wear masks everywhere per the Governor’s state mandate but in all aspects that Ryan and I control, we try to have the kids life as normal as possible. Playing with friends, going outside, going to stores and other places. We had a family talk the other day and I think a trip as a family is in order. The kids need to get out and go somewhere. We did think of maybe a weekend ski trip to Colorado but with Matthew’s broken leg it won’t be soon. Plans are still in discussion. COVID is definitely here and moving through the community. Even as recently as August, I’d even say September, it was rare to actually know someone personally that had, had COVID. Now we have lots of friends, co-worker, neighbors and family that have had it. So far I have been blessed that most if not all the people I know personally that had it have had no symptoms to minor symptoms and recovered with no issue.
The information I have found says the survival rate for COVID is 99.4-99.6%. I’ll take those odds any day for a global pandemic. They have several vaccine options becoming available and are starting to distribute it. I had the option to get it through work but decided in my age, health, and family situation I would rather just take my chances with COVID. I am not anti-vaccine but they are using a new method that alters the mRNA in the cells and I think I want more than 10 years (I think that is being generous) of scientific experimentation and learning before I jump on board to volunteer to pioneer the first generation to try this type of vaccine. There are rumors that it will be required to travel, the next few months will be interesting to watch and see if people decide to hand over more of their freedoms and choice for the sake of ‘safety’ or they realize lets try our best to wash our hands and occasionally get sick and not hand over more unnecessary control to the government over our lives.
The past few months with COVID and politics have revealed some interesting dynamics in our neighborhood. There is a group of neighbors that have become pretty vocal about their support of Joe Biden. That in itself is not the problem, if you want to support Biden be my guest. The actions I see that can and are leading to some issues is their starting to condemn neighbors and people around them that don’t support Biden or follow the governments ‘recommendations’ to exactness, or more precisely their idea of exactness. Instead of inviting everyone to a party like they used to they just invite the ones that openly support Biden with a sign in their yard. (I do realize that having a party with a bunch of people isn’t following social distancing protocol, but if you are doing it to support Biden this group of people say its ok. I guess COVID knows the rules about which social gatherings are allowed.) They have gotten angry and sent mean texts to a parent for giving their kid a ride to basketball practice. Even though the kid is 14 and accepted the offer and has always carpooled with them in the past. They often ‘don’t see or hear’ when you walk by their house and say hi to them while they are sitting or working in the yard. They announce on the FB page that anyone who is a Republican can unfriend them and they want nothing to do with them because some people in Washington DC raided the capitol and somehow every Republican in America should be held responsible. They google everyone on the street and let people know what people they probably want to avoid because of certain events or beliefs in their past and/or present. Matthew was ON A WALK with some friends and a neighbor told them to go home or she would call the police. I find it more than slightly ironic that all of these things go on and more while one of these people have a “Love Your Neighbor” sign in their yard. It is pretty crazy, almost laughable if it weren’t all true.
Expanding our bubble a little more to school and local happenings. The girls are back in school full time. Matthew is back to full time virtual school. There was some long convoluted explanation relating to number of cases going up but not in schools but they should stay home anyway, as the reason for going back to virtual but I don’t want to waste the time to type it here. The teachers are doing a pretty good job for the most part but this year can hardly be qualified as quality education, I am constantly assured by the schools that’s ok though. The girls school principle (the one who has her name and picture plastered all over the school and makes me want to scream and pull my hair out just by hearing her name) is loving having the excuse of COVID to make as many stupid illogical rules as she can to fulfill her need for total control. She has a little group of followers that ‘spy’ for her and turn in people that are ‘hiding’ their COVID symptoms. The kids are told they shouldn’t talk loudly because of COVID, zero visitors are allowed into the school, and when she sends all the teachers home to be quarantined, she has people with no teaching experience or even a license to substitute filling in and ‘teaching’. Uggg this might seem obvious but I loathe this woman. If you have ever seen Harry Potter she honestly is Professor Umbridge, to a tee, minus the magic wand of course but hair, dress, and smarminess are the same. We have three and a half more years left of dealing with her before Emilee is out of elementary. I can not say if I will or will not make it my mission to get her fired between now and then.
Nothing drastically improved overnight in the world at large when 2020 became 2021. In politics, Trump is throwing a temper tantrum-to be fair the democrat’s totally rigged the election and falsely elected Joe Biden, but in typical Trump fashion he is acting like a two year old. There is literally dozen’s of examples and proof from video tapes of people carrying in suitcases of votes and running them through 7 times, software corruption, eye witness accounts, counties having more votes then people living in them, ‘corrected ballets’, and so much more that the media and courts just flat out ignore and dismiss. Instead they are pushing the the story that a man who has been in politics for 40+ years with nothing to show for it, has sexual harrassment charges against him from people ages 5-80 dismissed as ‘he is friendly’, has a son that it connected to Russian Mafia and other drug Lords, and can’t follow a conversation because he has dementia, not only won the election that at its most generous predictions was never predicted in his favor by more than a slight margin, but won by a landslide, with bigger voting margins than have ever been recorded in United States history-including the beloved Obama. If you honestly think the results of this past election were accurate, you are living with your head in the sand and not willing to accept reality. The fact that people no matter what their political affiliation is are ok with this and letting it get swept under the rug is not a good sign. Our government and its validity and structure is circling the drain.
Over the past year it has been crazy to take a step back and see all the things that are in motion. No matter what perspective you look at it from-citizen, economic, political, anything-it is changing fast and furiously. From a religious perspective, when you read about the wars and government corruption in the Book of Mormon it is eerie how close situations are today. Human nature as a whole is fairly predictable and it is crazy how a little control and a little filtering of the media and propaganda can swing nations in different directions. It seems like it is sudden but it isn’t, I think a lot of people don’t realize or want to believe how subtle, organized and focused the devil is on slowly dragging people down. It is like some people view it as something of the past, just stories. If you look even in the last 100 years you can see the patterns and work of people that are pure evil working their way into position and power and building on their steps to get ultimate power. Hitler was less than 100 years ago and in my life time alone the general truth and facts of what happened and lead up to that have been taught in school and lessons learned accepted as facts, to a once small but now growing alarmingly larger and larger belief that we should head towards socialism again and even that a lot of the history and things that happened didn’t really happen. How insane is that! There is no other way to describe it as crazy but when people try and talk or change or expose the evil, they are looked on as radicals, crazy, selfish and uncaring. People are starting to be very divided and polarized.
Uuggg. I really wasn’t planning on this post being about any of this but I obviously went off on a tangent. With all of this stuff becoming more and more prevalent, obviously I am seeing it more in my personal life and that is worrisome. When I read in the scriptures that good people will be lead away by subtle means and I see it happening to my own friends and family I want to shake them and say, “This is you its talking about! Don’t fall for it!” I have heard leaders and people say that things are speeding up and moving quickly. It isn’t that I didn’t believe them but it is different when you start seeing it in your own personal life with people you know and have known.
The waters are pretty murky and that isn’t going to improve anytime soon. It is overwhelming if you focus to much on it. If I didn’t have a living prophet to follow it would be hard to keep focused. God is real, his gospel was restored to the earth through Joseph Smith. I have heard a lot of criticisms and doubts about Joseph Smith from several acquaintances in the past year or so. I know he wasn’t perfect and I know that even studying and learning more about him I still won’t have all the details or the how’s and why’s of what he did and who he was but I know enough to know that he was called by God to translate the Book of Mormon and restore the gospel to the earth in its fullness. I know he did that, and God helped him accomplish the things he needed to. I know Joseph Smith had faith, and personal revelation and I believe he did his best. I don’t need to judge him and fill in the details with the limited knowledge I have through rose colored glasses almost 200 years later. I have prayed and asked if he was a prophet, I know he was a prophet of God. I know President Nelson is a prophet of God today. I know he his helping us prepare for what is to come. He has been urging us and helping us become more independent and trusting of our individual testimonies and personal revelation. He reminds us to strengthen them and helps us know what to focus on and how to prepare ourselves, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.