Category: August

First Day of School

Well, it was delayed 2 weeks and then middle school and high school were changed to virtual only for an undetermined amount of time based on a ridiculous skewed made up ‘gating criteria’ but we had the first day of school this past week!

The principal kept all the walkers until after the car riders were gone so Allison sat in the class room an extra 45 minutes, got home an hour after school ended, and crossed a four lane road without a crossing guard, but after what I can only imagine was a full inbox, many phone calls, a meeting with the teachers, and even more in person conversations she decided against that and let the kids go when school was over the next day. This was a big issue several years ago but the principal in her never ending attempts to control every single thing tried it again. Four years left of this woman…four years.

Allison rode the bus the first day with Emilee so she wouldn’t be by herself and is in 5th grade. Her last year of elementary school. Her teacher is Mrs. Brown and seems to be pretty awesome so far. Back to school night was all virtual and she did a good job so you could actually hear and see what was going on. I think she will be a good fit for Allison. As I mentioned, she can ride the bus but most of the time wants to walk or ride her bike to see her friends because none of her best friends ended up in her class. We have made the deal that on days I work and dad isn’t working from home she has to ride the bus, other days she can pick. She is going to do one more year of girls scouts. She is doing cheer one last time (hopefully) and has gymnastics twice a week for 2 1/2 hours. She color coded all of her school supplies to the correct pencil box they go in. As usual she is up to date on all the school gossip and happenings, even some from the middle school, despite being with her class and her class only all day long. Lunch is in the class room, and recess is rotating to different areas with your own class. She is glad to be back in school though and see and interact with more people.

Emilee is starting 2nd grade. She will ride the bus each day. She puts her mask on and they take her temperature then she is whisked away to the school. Once she is dropped off she walks around a one way loop at the school until she arrives at her classroom. Her teacher this year is Mrs. Trimble. Allison had her for 2nd grade as well and I wasn’t impressed. I requested a change but the principal said she can’t do anything about it. For now we will keep her there and hope that it goes well. If it doesn’t I will have a meeting with the principle about it. Anyway, she is doing good so far. There are 18 kids in her class, 6 of those are girls. She seems to be pretty comfortable now since she knows most of the kids and is familiar with the school. Recess rotation on the grass with no balls and not allowed to play tag is pretty boring but she did find two frogs so that brightened her day. She is not going to do Girl Scouts this year. Hopefully activity days will be starting again before to long. We will get her on a basketball team in the winter. We are also looking into horse lessons with her bestie Reese once a week.

Matthew is in 8th grade. He started conditioning this summer with the intentions of playing football but ended up deciding against it. He has put on a grand total of 5 pounds this last year and 1 inch making him 5 feet even and 85 pounds soaking wet. He decided to focus on getting better at basketball and baseball instead of getting squished in football. He was supposed to start school full time in person, but the school switched a few days before school started to all virtual. Apparently it is safe enough to play sports…but not sit in a desk at school. So he has four classes a day for 1 1/2 hours each via zoom. That is a long time to be staring at a computer screen. We are trying to make the best of it and hopefully it will not last much longer. He is pretty social and is finding and settling in with a good group of kids it seems like. None of them are close enough to hang out after school without parent assistance in getting there but they are close enough it is pretty easy to get them together. There is one boy in particular we are glad he is buddies with. Tyson Beshore. The whole family is a great family, anytime we can get them together we are more than happy to do it. Matthew can get his learners permit for driving in October. That is pretty crazy.

So the 2020 school year if off to a start. It is going to be a different, frustrating, and hopefully end well but we will see. I hope my kids can learn and grow mentally, physically, socially, and emotionally.

Kayaking

We got a new neighbor last August right next door to us. They are a nice family. I chatted with them a little but when COVID quarantine was going in March and April her and I got to know each other a little better. Her name is Margarita. We started going on walks together and then she asked if I wanted to play tennis with her on the neighborhood court.

When we started playing I was only half interested. We plan on playing for an hour and after 40 minutes I was ready to be done. My endurance has improved along with my skills so I enjoy it much more now and look forward to going. I even asked for a new racquet for my birthday. I also got a brace for my elbow because I am old and got tennis elbow. Maybe in a few decades we will be in the Senior Olympics together in tennis. She is a good friend and we have fun together. We can share our woes of children with each other too when we are on our walks.

She got into kayaking this summer too and invited me along with her. It is very peaceful and relaxing and we enjoyed the sunset.

Butterflies

We made it to Powell Gardens again this year with the McDonald family to see the butterflies and walk around the gardens. It is always beautiful. With the COVID restrictions we had to wait in line a bit to go into the conservatory but it wasn’t to bad.

The kids played in the fountains for a little while. There was a new kid area for them to dig in the dirt and plant stuff. There was a second monarch butterfly house as well. The weather was not ridiculously hot so it was a nice day.

It was nice to get out and have something to do. We usually go to the Cultural Festival with the McDonald’s in August as well but that has been canceled this year.

Just Going to Leave This Right Here.

All right dear Allison. This post is about you. Maybe no one ever reads it again. Maybe we laugh about it together in the future. Maybe it is just for immediate therapy.

You are a strong willed, determined, passionate human being. I love those qualities in you but I admit they are also sometimes difficult to help you learn to manage and direct. I know sometimes I am to overbearing and short and impatient with you. I promise it is something I work on daily. Darn it girl! You don’t make it easy sometimes. We seem to struggle more sometimes than others with getting along with each other and lately it has been more struggle than not.

Yesterday we had some dentist appointments and then were meeting some friends at the Butterfly Garden to spend the afternoon. The dental appointments went a little quicker than usual, we had an hour drive and were still going to be a little early to meet our friends. There was a McDonald’s right next to us so I asked the girls if they wanted to get a little snack to eat on the way at McDonald’s. This is how the next few minutes went.

Me: Ok, I will swing by McDonald’s and you can each get something.

Allison: Is there a Wendy’s? I like Wendy’s better.

Me: No, there is not a Wendy’s around here. We are by McDonald’s already, that is why I said McDonald’s.

Allison: We passed a Burger King on the way here. Can we go there instead?

Me: (deep breath- 9 out of 10 times when we have any plans or decisions made Allison will request they be changes for her convenience- we have time to kill, it isn’t a big deal) Sure, it isn’t on the way but since it is pretty close and we have a little extra time we can go to Burger King instead.

A few minutes later pulling into BK I ask the girls what they want. Emilee wants french toast sticks and Allison requests mozzarella sticks. It is still early so I ask the employee if they are making mozzarella sticks or not. They say they are not but will make them ‘special’. I look at the menu and it says 4 or 8 sticks, and ask Allison how many she wants.

Allison: I want 5.

Me: They don’t do 5. You can do 4 or 8.

Allison: I only want 5. I will eat 6. Can you ask them for 6.

Me: (deep breath-Allison often likes to ignore facts, rules, or guidelines and will just keep repeating her question/statement to see if the answer will change) 6 is not an option. 4 or 8 is the option. If you want 6 get 8 and share the rest with others.

Allison: Uugg. I will do 4. Ask them for extra mozzarella.

Me: They are already made sticks, you can’t add mozzarella to them.

Allison: Why can’t you just ask. It doesn’t seem hard to add cheese to something.

Me: (deep breath) Tell the person we are ready to order and ask for 8 mozzarella. As I do this Allison repeats over and over in my ear from the back seat to just ask for extra mozzarella. I ignore her.

Allison: Rolls her window down (which I usually have locked for reasons just like this) and interrupts me and asks the employee if she can change her order to 6 sticks and add extra cheese.

I take another deep breath while the employee says, as you might expect, “We only have 4 or 8 sticks, and we can’t add extra cheese but we can do extra sauce.” Allison then changes her order to 4 sticks and NO extra sauce. I take another deep breath and pull forward to get the food. As we wait she repeatedly asks in my ear from the back seat to ask for extra sauce because she now wants extra sauce. They hand me me the bag and there is a large container of sauce-easily plenty for 4 sticks. She insists it is not enough, so I ask for an extra sauce and we drive away.

Allison ends up eating 4 sticks with no sauce because ‘it tastes weird’.

I have had several conversations with Allison in the past when my patience is better about doing things efficiently, or easily, or conveniently, or considering others time or preferences. When I finish she explains to me that efficiency, ease, and convenience are below zero on her scale of importance when making decisions and other peoples needs she will try to consider more often but by her tone are barely above the previous reasons. Her desires, interests, aesthetic appeal, and fun are what drives her decisions. So we continue our daily interactions with very different approaches. One thing is for sure, we will both help each other build our patience and endurance.

First Day of School August 2019

The first day of school arrived! Matthew started 7th Grade at a brand new middle school. Allison started 4th Grade in Ms. Clear’s class. Emilee started 1st Grade in Mrs. Ankrom’s class. They all had a pretty good first day. It was fun to see friends they hadn’t seen for awhile and see who was in their classes. We had back to school night Monday or Tuesday and Tuesday morning they all headed out the door together.

I have said many times that I would never let my kids ride the bus. I have worried about things that can happen like bullies or getting into trouble. Matthew rode the bus last year and it went ok. There was a lot of people I knew that rode the bus and there is a bus aide to help the driver keep an eye on everyone. Talking with Matthew I didn’t stress to much about it. Never say never.

This year I decided to have them all ride the bus. The main reason being on days I work I know they have a ride to and from school and I don’t have to worry about them walking home. I have quickly realized there are some other nice benefits of the bus as well. The girls are more concerned about being on time for the bus then they were about being on time to leave for school with me. There motivation results in them hurrying more and me yelling less. They all go and come at the same time which is very handy. A nice perk is I don’t have to deal with the pick up line and the ridiculous ‘procedures’ to get them.

Summer Theme 2019

We used to do bucket lists for the summer to make a fun list of things we wanted to make sure we got in during our summer break. It was fun until it switched to something that became a job. I use lists to get things done and if something on our bucket list wasn’t going to get done it stressed me out. I felt like I was leaving something unfinished. So we got rid of the list. We still do fun stuff of course but we plan it a little more week by week so it doesn’t get overwhelming. I did like having something kind of focusing the summer like the list did, so instead of the list I decided to have a theme. Last years theme was ‘Work Hard, Play Hard’. The kids grumbled during examples of “work hard” and of course were more than happy to participate in “play hard”. Overall I felt like it was a fun idea and a year later when I told them I was going to pick another summer theme for this summer they remembered what the theme was from the year before and rolled their eyes at me. I took that as a sign that it was successful. That sign further motivated me to come up with a 2019 Summer theme. The one I decided to go with was “Try, Try, Try”. I liked this because I can apply it to almost any situation I need. Try harder, try again, try more, try less (usually applied to arguing or other unpleasant behaviors), try once, try something new, and so forth. We are nearing the end of the summer and I think it is sinking in pretty good. They may not always actually try whatever it is we say to try but, they are getting the words burned into their brain so they at least think it more often.

Emilee’s biggest ‘Try Challenge’ has been eating a full balanced meal AND broadening her ideas of edible food. She is such a picky eater. I can figure out no definite rhyme or reason for her pickiness either. Sometimes its texture, sometimes taste, color, firmness, mooshiness, it is really quite ridiculous. She is working on trying new foods.

My biggest ‘Try Challenge’ I have been working on this summer is interacting with my children (and everyone but it is hardest with my children) in a more positive way. I felt like I was falling into grumpy, less patient and intolerant ways of communicating or interacting with my kids. So I have been trying to change some of those bad habits and be more pleasant with my kids. Specifically when I am mad or irritated with them. I think I have made some positive strides, I still have my not as good days but they are becoming out weighed by the good ones instead of vice-versa.

Allison has been trying to see things differently and take offense less. The tricky part is to not let her know that she is doing it. She is willing to apply the theme to trying a new food or something simple (for her) on occasion or teasing her siblings about trying something but actually setting a goal for her to work on she was not having any of it. So to help her with those try’s I have had to try harder (applies to me too) to present things to her in a more positive or appealing way when I interact with her. To sum up hours and hours of therapy and thousands of dollars-it is all in the presentation with Allison.

Matthew’s biggest ‘Try Challenge” has focused on baseball. He has set fitness goals and been trying to stick to them each day.

It has been a good summer. It wasn’t perfect but I think overall everyone got along better and was kinder to each other. I think everyone had fun trying new things, or trying old things again.

Apparently I have Twins

The day after we got home from Colorado we started the unpacking of all the suitcases. Around lunch time we decided to go out to lunch together since we hadn’t gone to the grocery store yet, and I hate to cook.

The stars aligned and all the moons were in the right place and whatever else needs to happen for a miracle so everyone was happy, speaking cheerfully, and using good manners. As we were eating a lady sitting next to us turned and pointing at Matthew and Allison said, “Your kids are so cute, are these two twins?”

I have never been asked this before so I was a little caught off guard but I was swooning in the compliment about my kids because usually one is crying, one is whining, and one is asking if we can go yet over and over. Allison didn’t hesitate a second and like she had answered the question a million times and said, “Not identical, I am awesome he his not.”

Matthew’s face after receiving a completely unexpected and completely amazing ‘burn’ from his sister was just as funny as Allison’s comment. He had a flabbergasted look on his face and said, “I’m awesome too.” The lady laughed and moved on, I don’t know if she realized they weren’t twins or not.

It was pretty funny. It was one of those moments that I still think about every now and then and get a good chuckle. Hehe, Allison and her spunky wittiness.

Date Night

Yes, the above picture is on our date night. After taking me to a yummy dinner to finish our date we washed his car, then I was asked to step out so he could vacuum and wipe down the inside of the car. Then told I could carefully re-enter the car. I was allowed to wear my shoes but told the option of not wearing them was preferred.

My punkin is very good at taking me out on dates when I ask, or asking me himself. This post is just to give him a hard time because I tell him his new car is his first love lately. I like to tease him when I find him sitting out in it, just hanging out, enjoying his new car. I don’t know if I mentioned that her official name is Stela (Tesla=Stela). You can type the name in the computer so when you say certain commands you can call it by name. There is also a Tesla wave you do to other Tesla’s when you pass them on the road. I have been chastised for not doing the wave when I was driving. Apparently a Tesla passed us and the driver waved and I snubbed them. I assured Ryan it wasn’t intentional. It was because I don’t care what other cars are on the road when I am driving as long as they aren’t crashing into me. I have also been reprimanded for eating a chocolate protein bar in his car. To be fair to Ryan, I did have a crumb fall and melt on the white seat. To be fair to me though I inadvertently cleaned most of it up with my own jeans and I am adult and can eat in my husbands car.

Sarcasm aside, I am glad he is enjoying his new car. He has worked hard the last few years to earn it. I am glad it brings him joy. I get it. I’m still going to occasionally give him a hard time about it though.

As far as being asked to step out of the car so he could clean it on our date, I was perfectly content playing my spider solitaire game while he did it, and taking this picture to write this post to tease him about it.

Allison reminds us how determined she can be.

Several months ago…way back in March. Allison got the idea in her head that she wanted a hamster. I quickly told her no thanks and dismissed it. Allison would not be deterred. She promised to take care of it, do all the work, blah, blah, blah. She said all the things that kids need to say to get a pet. I was not convinced. I pointed out all the negatives of having a pet. She was not convinced.

She even convinced me to go to the pet store with her to ‘just look’. You might think, “big mistake” but that is how my siblings and I got our dog. We just went to ‘visit’ the pound and came home with a dog because my mom couldn’t handle seeing all the sad dogs. I knew what she was planning. After driving me crazy asking to go to the pet store I told her I would take her but we were NOT coming home with any pet. It actually worked out in my favor. Kind of. I saw the hamsters and was immediately grossed out. They are basically a mouse without a tail. No. I hate mice. Allison asked the employee if she could hold it. She told her that hamsters don’t really like to be held and they tend to bite a lot. Allison seemed a little put off by that and as I was getting ready to suggest we head home the helpful employee continued on to suggest that Allison hold a guinea pig instead. Guinea pigs like to be snuggled and they aren’t as fragile so it is easier to hold them. She hands Allison a bushy guinea pig. That’s all the convincing Allison needs to decide she would rather have a guinea pig.

The next few days she peppered us with reasons why she wanted a guinea pig and I responded with reasons why I didn’t want one. Allison is a very determined little girl if you haven’t figured that out already. She would not let it go. Somewhere along the way I said that I would not spend my money on buying a guinea pig. She said she would earn enough money to get it herself. I told her she had to save enough money to get the guinea pig, a cage, and all the things it would need and THEN I would THINK about it. Of course I thought that would deter her when she realized how much money it was or she would get distracted with other things along the way that she wanted instead. Allison went to the computer and googled everything a guinea pig needed, then price checked and shopped for it all online so she new how much she needed. At first she decided she needed $65 for the cage and guinea pig. Then she decided she wanted to get the food, bedding, and a toy and some other things so her grand total came to $120.

For the next five months Allison went to work thinking of anyway she could to earn money. She sold all her slime to friends at school, she offered to walk peoples dogs, she did extra chores for me, her aunts, her uncles and anyone that had something for her to do. She had her own table at the neighborhood garage sale. She did bake sales and lemonade stands. She saved every penny she earned or was gifted (both grandmas contributed to her cause). She would not be redirected either. She didn’t spend any money on treats, or anything else. She bought one shirt for herself that she really wanted, that was it. There wasn’t anything else she spent her money on. I was very good at giving her options of things that I thought she would like too. Especially the closer she got to her $120 goal. I did my best to get her to change her mind and focus on something else with her money besides a guinea pig. She would not be deterred.

A few days after her birthday when she added in the last of the birthday money she had gotten and a few more dollars for extra chores, she triumphantly came into my room and excitedly told me that she had finally reached her goal, she had $120.80. She was ready to go to the pet store. I tried, with no luck to change her mind one last time. I talked with Ryan and he said that he thought with the dedication, determination, work and effort she had put into earning the money we should let her get her guinea pig. Grrrr! Curse Ryan and his logical, lesson teaching parenting. As much as I wanted to disagree though I couldn’t.

On August 2nd Allison, Leah, Emilee and I headed to Petsmart. They were out of guinea pigs and said it would be a few weeks before they got more. Once again, Allison was not going to give up that easy. She quickly suggested trying Petco. When we got there, she asked if she could hold a guinea pig. The person helping us said she could. The three they had at the store were pretty jumpy and not on their best behavior. I thought things were playing out rather nicely. Maybe she would decide to be satisfied with the stuffed guinea pig toy I got her in Colorado. Then the employee proceeds to tell Allison that a family that has been a customer for years had just (like thirty minutes before we got there) brought their guinea pig back to be rehomed because they had gotten a cat and the two weren’t getting along. He took her over to show him to us. I still had hope because Allison said she wanted a girl and this one was a boy. He also had long hair and all the ones she had wanted were short haired. He picked him up and handed him to Allison. This little guy was much calmer and was used to being held. He snuggled in and started purring. Allison asked how much he was, the guy told her he would give her a good deal-$5!! Allison kept her game face on and said, $5 for the pig and the cage? He agreed and Allison was sold. I tried not to be annoyed, we were getting a guinea pig. Because of her stellar $5 deal she had plenty of money left to buy food, bedding, grooming stuff, and even a toy with money to spare. We brought him home, cleaned his cage really well, gave him a bath, brushed him and introduced him to his new home. I ordered sanitizers, deodorizers, gloves, and anything else that made me feel less gross about having a rodent living in my house. The store said his name was Brownie but Allison renamed him Peanut and later decided that was short for Peanut Butter at a suggestion from her Grandpa Jones.

We have now had him for a few days and I will admit so far it is not so bad. I think it is nice that he can be left in his cage and I really don’t ever have to take care of him. We are still setting up ground rules about where he is and isn’t allowed to be, washing hands after touching him, his cleaning requirements and such. He does seem to be a sweet little guy though, and of course the kids love him to death already. They spent today making him a ‘play area’ out of boxes, and anything they could find they thought he would like. Hopefully my biggest issue with him will be what to do with him when we go places, which already was and is one of my biggest arguments against having any pet.

Aside from the obnoxious consequence of now having a guinea pig, I am very proud of Allison. She showed a lot of initiative and determination and self control to earn him on her own. She made a plan, stuck to it, and reached her goal. Not many 8 year olds would be able to stay focused and stick with their goal for 5 months. Ryan and I have both told her she showed and worked on developing many good qualities that will be good to have in her life with this experience. We are very proud of her. We also reminded her she gets to continue developing those qualities for the next 7-8 years of her guinea pigs life by taking care of all of his needs. She can do it.