Allison did her first season of Cheerleading this year. She was a little disenchanted with it because she had a broken arm and couldn’t do the stunts but she likes cheering at the games. When Grandma and Grandpa Terry came they came to watch her and she was the Captain that day which means she gets to pick what cheers they did. They have a few games left and then they have their dance/cheer competition.
A few weeks ago Allison walked in the Spring Hill Fall Festival Parade with her squad, and thought it was pretty fun.
The other day for Allison’s Activity Day Girls Meeting, we went to Deanna Rose Farm. It is a little park and petting zoo. We walked around and did an alphabet scavenger hunt. Each year they have 30-40 baby goats that during the day you can feed with bottle and pet them. Apparently right before closing every night the baby goats go from the bottle feeding pen they have been in all day, to their sleeping pen with hay for the night. They call it the ‘Running Of The Goats’. All the scavenger hunts ended by the baby goats so we could watch. It was pretty cute. The goats are all excited for the hay so they are all smashing up against the gait waiting for it to open. When the person opens the gait 40 little baby goats do a 100 yard dash as fast as their little legs can carry them to the next pen to get their dinner. That was pretty cute in itself. Some of the goats are ‘fainting goats’. I don’t know a lot about goats but when ‘fainting goats’ get really excited or scared or anything that gets the adrenaline going they faint. So some of these cute little goats take of running as fast as they can and then all the sudden they fall over for a few seconds then jump back up and continue on their run. I thought one had tripped but instead of falling forward with his momentum he kind of rolled over on his back with his legs up in the air, then kept rolling and jumped up and continued on when his feet landed on the other side. I wish I had gotten a good picture of one of them fainting but I wasn’t expecting it and they were really fast. Allison and I still got a good laugh though.
I was the Mystery Reader for Emilee’s class this last week. She was thrilled. I will miss it when she doesn’t jump for joy when she sees me someday. She came up and sat by me while I read “If You Give A Pig A Pancake” and six different Little Critter Books. Emilee new where every single mouse, grasshopper, and spider where hidden on each page. I stayed and had lunch with her afterwards. She ate her lunch from home and stole my cookie I got when I went through the lunch line.
Matthew had a tournament the other weekend. I didn’t go because I got to watch Allison cheer. One of the moms took some pictures for me though. They didn’t win the tournament, they didn’t play at their top abilities but there were some good plays including a few double plays that Matthew helped with.
I mentioned in a recent post that Allison had been picking a few fights with Matthew. She started the first one by making the statement that cheerleading is harder than football. Shortly after that she picked another fight by claiming she new more about Harry Potter than Matthew did. The next morning at breakfast Matthew was sitting at the table eating and Allison skipped down the stairs placed a piece of paper in front of Matthew, smiled, and sat down to start eating her own breakfast. Matthew leaned over to see what it said.
To clarify the meaning of this note, I will explain a few things. Last year for Valentine’s Day Allison made a huge Valentine’s box with a giant rooster on the front with the help of her Grandpa Jones. A few kids in her class called her Rooster and she decided to adopt the nickname. None of us call her rooster at home but she refers to herself often as ‘The Rooster’. Matthew’s nickname on his baseball team is Cheetah. A lot of the parents will say ‘Go Cheetah’ to cheer him on. Allison decided to say ‘Go Cheetoh’ instead of cheetah when she cheers for him. She gets a kick out of Matthew shaking his head or rolling his eyes at her while he walk up to the plate. So, she decided to leave this note for him next to his breakfast with all nicknames covered. Matthew took the bait and immediately started arguing with her that cheetahs would eat a rooster in a second. Allison had her responses ready to go and kept them coming no matter how crazy Matthew claimed they were. I think she accomplished her mission to get some attention from Matthew.
Later that day I picked Matthew up for an eye appointment. I reviewed the last three arguments him and Allison have had and asked what he thought she might be trying to accomplish by attacking three of the biggest hobbies in Matthew’s life right now. I saw a little light bulb go off and we brainstormed some ways for him to make her attention seeking more positive. I have noticed several time that he has gone out of his way to give her positive attention and acknowledge her accomplishments. He told me he is an Allison Whisperer now. I told him he is on his way but still needs to practice.
Ryan and I both remind him a lot how much his sisters look up to him and try and be like him. It is a little easier for him and Emilee to get along. I think the bigger age difference decreases the competitiveness between them. Matthew and Allison argue more but I see glimpses of a good relationship between them. It is really important to me that they take care of each other and enjoy each other. I am close with my siblings, especially my sisters. I feel like in a lot of ways we got closer when we were older after we didn’t live at home anymore. I am grateful for that but one of my regrets is that I didn’t develop that more when we were growing up. I tell my kids all the time to take advantage of the years that they live together now and enjoy each other because when they grow up it won’t be like it is now, and they won’t see each other as much, even if they live by each other. I don’t know how much they understand that now, its kind of hard to imagine an adult life when you are a kid but hopefully it will sink in a little.
There have been a few things this week that made me smile and show Allison’s determination. I know that her determination can sometimes drive be bananas, but I love that quality in her. She has a drive to accomplish her goals and desires. It will take her far.
She has recently decided that she wants to get another guinea pig so Peanut Butter isn’t lonely. Ryan and I are not on board with this in anyway and have made no effort to hide our thoughts on the matter. She has just pushed our reasons aside and said she will let us know when she has saved up enough money. She has somehow come up with the amount of $300 to save and then ‘we can’t say no’ even though we told her we have already said no and will continue to say no, regardless of how much money she saves.
Her getting guinea pig number two desire has reinvigorated her dog walking business. Her friend and her were out doing this earlier this week. As they were walking a dog down a street they noticed a sign taped up to the light pole that a couple 2nd grade girls had posted advertising to walk people’s dogs for them. Allison started looking around and noticed that there were several of these signs taped up to mailboxes and other light poles. She finished walking the dog then came straight home to report that some ‘little second graders were trying to steal her business’ and she was not having it, ‘not on my watch’. Her and her friend then spent the next two hours, making their own signs and taping them up right next to all the signs the 2nd graders had put up. She felt quite confident that no one in their right mind would pick a 2nd grader to walk their dog when there was a ‘more experienced’ 4th grader available.
Emilee and Allison share a bathroom and it is always disgusting. Clothes and toothpaste everywhere, play makeup, towels, orbees, soap, made up chemistry projects, and hair stuff is always all over the place. It drives me crazy. It is a constant battle to get them to clean it up or keep it clean. The other day I was grossed out by the bathroom and both girls kept claiming they had ‘cleaned’ it. I was annoyed with it and didn’t want to clean it myself but felt like if I wanted it to actually be clean I would have to have them help me do it, which is basically doing it for them and I didn’t want to do that. I decided to motivate Allison with one of her biggest motivators-money- to clean it. I told her if she cleaned it and did a REALLY good job I would pay her $3. She thought for a minute and counter offered with $3 but not the shower. We compromised at $2 and she didn’t have to clean the shower this time. She came and got me a little while later to have me come check and make sure she did a good job. She had done an amazing job. It was spotless (except the shower of course 😊). I was shocked!! I told her she did amazing and I was proud of her. I didn’t tell her that now that I know her true capabilities the jig is up and she will be cleaning her bathroom a lot more. If I have to pay her two dollars to do it, that is totally worth it to me.
Earlier today Matthew and Allison were progressively raising the volume of their voices as they yelled insulting ‘but true’ things to each other. It was started by Allison telling Matthew that cheerleading is harder than playing football. He was momentarily dumbfounded and stared at her in complete shock until he told her that was the ‘most dumb’ thing she had ever said. Of course Allison was then dumbfounded herself because she was truly shocked that Matthew didn’t totally confirm her statement. They then proceeded to yell at each other different ways that one was better than the other. One that made me chuckle in particular was when Allison was explaining that football players get to run around so the wind cools them off. Cheerleaders stay in pretty much the same spot and don’t create wind so they are hotter. It continued to progress to who gets to drink more water and then sputtered out when I started dancing around the room to music from Aladdin.
Their next argument started not to much later when Allison, who has started reading the Harry Potter books for the first time and is about half way through the series, tried to challenge Matthew who has read all the books three times and watched all the movies at least twice, on some Harry Potter trivia. It progressed much like the argument before until they noticed that Emilee and I had sat down and were getting ready to eat dinner, then they joined us.
The reason I am sharing these little tidbits of sibling interaction is because this past weekend Lauren and I went to a parenting class called ‘Simply on Purpose’. It was a good conference. The presenter was fun to listen to and had some good information to share. It included lunch too which is always nice. I have been trying to practice some of the things she said the past few days. Some of it I have already heard or know but it is nice to have a reminder and reset sometimes. I also learned how to do somethings in a better way. Some of the main points I took away from her conference in no particular order was;
Sibling rivalry and how it is actually good for siblings (as long as it doesn’t get malicious, which is actually more rare than you think) and their development. It teaches them correct social behavior, compromising skills, learning to endure, learning to forgive, and builds a bond.
Behavior can be broken up into inconsequential, or consequential. Most behavior actually usually falls in the inconsequential category unless you are someone that ‘loves to sweat the small stuff’.
Behavior is mostly a product of its environment. As the parent, I control the environment of the home and can create the environment I want my children to have. Home is your kids safe place, not the ‘real world’. Be in control of yourself, teach your child, look for the good, and ignore inconsequential behaviors.
Use your resources of time and energy to teach what they SHOULD be doing, not what they shouldn’t be doing.
Misbehavior is usually because they are not effectively taught, or their environment is reinforcing misbehavior.
Use rewards as an incentive, not a bribe, and when they earn their reward, focus on the effort and work they did to get the reward, not just the fun of the reward.
Create behavior momentum by using positive interactions, (they are always doing a good job breathing if you can’t find anything else positive to say😊) praise them for behavior above what they are doing to guide them in the direction you want them to go. Creating good behavior and environment eliminates 80% of negative behavior.
IGNORE inconsequential behaviors. This is not being lazy or negligent. It is, not reinforcing a conditioned behavior. Purposeful ignored behavior will be 81% gone in 30 seconds or less, and 94% gone in 1 minute and 45 seconds or less. If it is hard to ignore, start timing to distract yourself.
Traps that parents fall into are; back talking (ignore then calmly state what you expect them to do IF they haven’t already done it). Threats (instead of ‘If you don’t…then’ use encouragement statement, ‘If you do…then’). DO NOT ask them a question about their behavior in the heat of the moment (they don’t know and you will never be satisfied with their answer) only talk about behavior with them when both parties are calm. The last two traps parents fall in are forcing and controlling. Both of these lead to resentment and avoidance, not long lasting relationships.
Parenting is NOT social, it is personal, spiritual and emotional. Don’t parent based on other people’s expectations.
Tattle-telling; have them brainstorm solutions to solve their own problem, pick one and go try it. If they come back and say it didn’t work, pick another solution they suggested and try again.
Always offer positive attention and acknowledge their positive behavior.
So, the past few days when someone starts whining or fighting I try and remember some of these tactics. I try and change the momentum, stay calm, stay positive, and ignore the attention seeking inconsequential behaviors, however obnoxious they may be. I don’t always do it, or execute it perfectly, but I have noticed that it works when I do. When Emilee starts whining I do something else, or talk with someone else. Then as soon as she stops I make sure to give her positive attention. When the kids start fighting I will try and change the momentum by doing something silly or distracting them. In the case of the two arguments I started this post with, I didn’t interact with Matthew or Allison and within the minute and forty five seconds their fight had died out and they both had moved on, or noticed that Emilee was getting positive attention and came over to join us instead.
The kids fight fairly often but I have a little different perspective on it this week. I try to see how they are learning and practicing the things that sibling rivalry teaches them. It is almost interesting now to listen or watch them interact. I’m sure that will not always be the case, but for now it is a nice change from feeling irritation and anger at them for fighting a lot.
I thought I was ignoring behavior before but I actually wasn’t. Most of the time I would inadvertently acknowledge it and then ignore it, so I was actually reinforcing the behavior. It is a lot harder to purposefully ignore something than you think. It takes a lot more concentration then addressing the situation does.
Emilee is liking 1st grade a lot so far. She tells me it is way shorter than school was last year. She does really well getting on the bus and going to school without stressing as much as she did last year too. She is starting to go to gymnastics again, she is in the same class as her friend Laney. She still loves playing with her stuffed animals, legos, and drawing and coloring. She is still really tall and fast. She gets a little sad that none of her friends live really close to our house but we try and have play dates for them to come over. She hates waking up in the morning but is getting better at it. She is the pickiest eater I know. What she does and doesn’t like to eat changes daily, there is no way to keep track of it. Watermelon and strawberries are her least favorite and she takes it as a personal attack if they are even in the same room as her. She is still a sweat heart and loves animals. She is always willing to help Allison with Peanut. She can clean her room and do a lot of things on her own but she is a master at getting someone else to ‘help her’ so she doesn’t have to do it all. She loves riding her scooter or bike outside. She is still a huge momma’s girl but her soft spot for dad has grown a lot the past year.
Allison is doing her best to enjoy cheerleading with only one good arm. She is very frustrated that she still has to wear her brace but loves wearing her cheerleading outfit enough to stick with it. Games have started now too which she has fun at too. She is missing gymnastics a lot too but she is cleared to go back on November 25th so she is already counting down the days. She often recruits a friend or two to go ask people to walk their dogs to earn a little extra money. She also makes and sells slime on a regular basis. She is always looking for a way to earn a dollar. She spends a lot of time taking care of Peanut and does a great job. He loves to snuggle with her and ‘pops’ when he sees her because he is excited. She is still witty and sharp as a tack. She likes to know what is going on with everyone and everything. She has been showing her peacemaker/caring side more lately. If someone is upset she tries to think of ways to help cheer them up. She enjoys being older but will never be old enough. Her and her dad went to a fishing daddy/daughter activity. She is very competitive but also kind. She decided to do Girl Scouts again this year. She is always very fashion aware and is relieved that it is time to get a new vest for Girl Scouts so she doesn’t have to wear ‘the hideous sash’ instead. She loves that she is old enough to go to a friends or walk around the neighborhood a little on her own. She is fun to talk to and always has an interesting perspective on things. She is a very good cook as well. She is liking school but doesn’t like to admit it.
Matthew is getting busier and busier. He decided to play football in addition to baseball again this year. He has a two hour practice Monday through Friday or a game for football. He still tries to squeeze in as much time at NBA to practice his hitting and fielding when he can. He also decided to do a nine week basketball camp to help him get better at basketball. He is often found sleeping on the couch at 8:30 at night with ice packs laying on various parts of his body. He is a social boy and likes to try new things. He has a little bit of a teenager attitude starting but is still a sweet kid. When he isn’t playing or practicing a sport he loves to play with the kids on the street. A new boy named Jack moved in a few weeks ago to join the possy. They often get a game of wiffle ball, football, tag, or basketball going after school. I tell him he has an old soul, which I love. He thinks and ponders about things and likes to think through the process of how something will work. He is a gifted boy with an infectious smile when he wants to use it.
On the way TO pracitce
Matthew, Jack and Finn heading to school.
Ryan and I decided that we were going to do another game of Jeopardy with the kids to help them remember some basic, not hard, general and sometimes very specific rules to being a successful happy person now and in the future. They were all excited to play but at some point throughout the game they lost their temper, pronounced something completely unfair, or the game was wrong and stupid. They missed the point that it is supposed to be fun and better than having a lecture for an hour.
Allison is mad she had to split the first/second place pot with Matthew because they tied. Right after this picture Emilee got upset when she realized the dollar was her prize instead of a donut. Matthew made sure to remind everyone that he won this time, to re-fresh Allison’s wound if she forgot.
Last week was a pretty normal week. For the upcoming Labor Day weekend Ryan and I were planning on going to Lincoln for a few days. I had to work on Thursday and Matthew had baseball practice Friday so we were planning on leaving early Saturday.
I was trying to figure out what to do with Peanut while we were gone. Ryan pulled me aside and said that our plans weren’t exactly what I was expecting so I didn’t need to worry about Peanut. Then I found out that he called the office that I was working at on Thursday and told them that he had planned a surprise trip for me and asked them to find someone to work for me. Then on Thursday he told me to pack my bag for warm weather and include a swimsuit. He came home early Thursday afternoon and I found out we were going to start our trip to Gulf Shores!
He had made arrangements and worked out all the rides for the kids activities while we were gone. Ross and Lauren helped out a ton with getting them to school Friday and watching them the rest of the weekend. I have heard great things about Gulf Shores and mentioned that I want to go there sometime so Ryan rented us a fun little condo right by the beach. We packed up and headed for Alabama.
Thursday we drove a few hours and actually had dinner with a work client of Ryan’s that he has become friends with. After a nice dinner and visiting for a while we stayed the night in West Plains Missouri. Ryan woke up early the next morning and packed the car back up and we continued on our way. We drove his Tesla, so when we stopped to charge we went on a walk or shopped a little or grabbed something to eat. It takes about 15 hours of driving to get there plus charging time. I enjoy a road trip so I am glad he decided to drive instead of fly. I was able to see two states that I had never been in before as we drove through them-Mississippi and Alabama. Ryan said he was excited to get there and get checked in so he wanted to get to a fun recommended local restaurant by six Friday night.
We talked and listened to music, napped, and enjoyed the scenery while we drove. Sometimes when we go traveling I like to send pictures to family or friends and have them guess where I’m at. I asked Ryan if he had told any of my family and he said no, so I started sending them ‘picture clues’ of where we were going. They had some good guesses but no one got the exact spot. Once they had figured out it was on the coast in Alabama we were just pulling up to the restaurant where we were going to eat so I sent them a picture of the sign, ‘Lulu’s’. After they sat us at our table Ryan went to the restroom, I was looking at the menu and I got a text on the family thread I had been on. I looked to see and it was a picture of me sitting in the restaurant. I thought Ryan had sent the picture for some reason but then I realized the sender was my sister Sherri. I looked around and sure enough her and Kenny were sitting at a table across the room. I was pretty surprised! I usually figure out surprises before they happen so it was fun to have no idea where I was going on my trip until we left and then have one of my sisters there as another surprise. We joined them at their table and I was happy to find out that they were there for the weekend too and were going to stay in the same condo. We talked and enjoyed the rest of our dinner then went to check into our place.
These are some of the pictures I sent my family so they could guess where I was.
This is the picture Sherri sent me of myself to surprise me.
The town motto at Gulf Shores is, “small town, big beach”. It fit perfectly. They have done a great job at keeping it a smaller, family friendly, laid back little beach town. The houses were bright pastel painted colors like a lot of beach towns. They were also up on stilts. Kind of different but the ground floor on all the houses was just support beams and the house was up in the air. The underneath area was used as a garage. Our condo was down the main street kind of separate from the main tourist area, surrounded by houses. It was on the far side of the road from the beach so we literally had to walk across the road and we were at the beach. We were up on the 17th floor and had a gorgeous view of the beach and town.
The view from the balcony.
This is what I saw when I walked out of my room in the morning. So pretty!
I had never been to a beach at night so I wanted to check it out. It was so dark we could see the Milky Way Galaxy and a ton more stars than usual. We had a hard time finding the stars and constellations we usually could because there were so many more.
Night walk on the beach
We had a very relaxing nice weekend. We tried out some local restaurants, slept in, napped, read a book on the patio, walked on the beach. We tried an Escape Room. We technically didn’t pass it due to a glitch in a door. That was not our fault and we would have finished in plenty of time if it had worked so we counted it as a win. I finally talked Ryan into trying a pedicure, all four of us got one together. Ryan was not a fan, Kenny loved it. One of the nights we ordered a pizza from a local place and watched a bunch of Friends reruns. The beach had a flag up for moderate waves, and jelly fish. There was a hurricane on its way in from the Bahamas so the usually calm gulf waters were not so calm. By moderate they meant 8-10 foot waves. Ryan and Sherri did some body surfing. We were all amazed at how fast it wore you out just to stand in the water. Ryan and Sherri were stung by jelly fish, they were just little ones that felt like a little sting or shock. They left a red mark but it wasn’t to bad. Sherri and I saw a few of them along the beach, they were only 1-2 inches wide. We also saw a sea turtles nest and lots of crabs. I collected a few shells to add to my collection. I now have a little jar with shells from Florida, the Bahamas, the Caribbean, and Gulf Shores.
Jelly Fish Sting
There was a strong rip tide that also exhausted you quickly.
body surfing
huge waves
Getting ready for his first ever pedicure
Found a “poop” donut for Allison. He didn’t taste very good though.
Kenny told us if we saw a Bucee’s we had to stop. It is the biggest gas station ever basically. There are over 100 pumps for gas too.
Ryan had gotten an air mattress that fit in the back of his car. We decided to start heading home late Sunday when Sherri and Kenny went to bed then just stop and sleep in the car while it charged when we got tired. We also wanted to stop at a place called Mammoth Springs, and not get home to late so we could see the kids.
Ryan sleeping on the air mattress in his car.
Mammoth Springs is a huge natural spring-almost 10 million gallons of water per hour come out of it. The water is a really pretty blue, and the whole area is pretty. It is speculated by some that this area is the place that Alma baptized and hid with people from King Noah in the Book of Mormon. It seemed like a plausible theory to me.
This is where the water is coming from, it is so deep that you can’t tell though.
They built a damn and had an electric generator working for many years.
I thought the mattress in the car wouldn’t be that comfortable but it actually was. We took turns sleeping for a bit then we both slept for a few hours. It was pretty handy. The Telsa keeps the A/C going too so your comfortable temperature wise too. Ryan was pretty happy with it. In fact, there is a camp out with Matthew this weekend and the two of them decided to sleep on the mattress in the A/C cooled car instead of taking a tent.
It was a very nice weekend. It was good to see the kids when we got home. I started planning out a family trip to go back there this summer with the kids. I think we will stay in the same place and have lots of beach time. There were a lot of things we didn’t get to that the kids would enjoy too. There is a battle ship and Ferry crossing and some other fun stuff. There are lots of different ice cream shops we need to sample still too. Ryan did a good job surprising me for my birthday.
The first day of school arrived! Matthew started 7th Grade at a brand new middle school. Allison started 4th Grade in Ms. Clear’s class. Emilee started 1st Grade in Mrs. Ankrom’s class. They all had a pretty good first day. It was fun to see friends they hadn’t seen for awhile and see who was in their classes. We had back to school night Monday or Tuesday and Tuesday morning they all headed out the door together.
I have said many times that I would never let my kids ride the bus. I have worried about things that can happen like bullies or getting into trouble. Matthew rode the bus last year and it went ok. There was a lot of people I knew that rode the bus and there is a bus aide to help the driver keep an eye on everyone. Talking with Matthew I didn’t stress to much about it. Never say never.
This year I decided to have them all ride the bus. The main reason being on days I work I know they have a ride to and from school and I don’t have to worry about them walking home. I have quickly realized there are some other nice benefits of the bus as well. The girls are more concerned about being on time for the bus then they were about being on time to leave for school with me. There motivation results in them hurrying more and me yelling less. They all go and come at the same time which is very handy. A nice perk is I don’t have to deal with the pick up line and the ridiculous ‘procedures’ to get them.
