Well, I crossed into the next decade of my life! It is a little weird. I remember my Grandma June in her 40’s. I remember my mom’s 40th birthday, several of my aunts. For a while as a kid, all adults were in their 40’s. Now I am. So far when I have entered a new decade it hasn’t bothered me. It bothers Ryan and he is two years older so maybe I have a few years to prepare myself because he does it first.
There was a bit of a minor mid life crisis for Ryan. It is part of the reason he now drives a Tesla. I think I feel it a little bit too. It is hard to explain. I am not panicking about my age but I feel like I have moved into a different stage of my life. I find myself thinking and considering things differently then I used to. I’ve noticed it enough in myself to say that there is definitely something to a ‘mid life crisis’. It didn’t happen over night of course, I feel like the past year or two I noticed a few subtle shifts and changes in myself. Here are some of my thoughts as a 40 for one month year old.
Emotionally and socially I have become more comfortable with myself and settled more into knowing what I am and want. I definitely feel plenty comfortable cutting out the crap and negativity I don’t want in my life. I am a people pleaser and I still like to please people but I am much better at not expensing my desires and wants ALL the time. My confidence has increased, would be a good way to say it in one sentence. I have solid friendships that are into their second decade. For me this is quite a feat since until 2008 I moved a minimum of every 2 years my whole life. I can be social or be alone-by myself or in a group. I am comfortable with myself and I know more of what I want and don’t want to spend my time doing and who I want to spend that time with.
I am no longer the young person in the room in anyone’s opinion. I have enough life experience to not be ‘just a baby’ or ‘just getting started’ or whatever else other people say. Instead people ask me how I did it when I was younger. In my head I’m thinking, “When did I not become younger?” I know enough to know I don’t know it all or even very much. I realize all the things ‘I will get to someday’ are going to be off the table at some point instead of forever available. Youth and health are not a given and guaranteed permanence. When I see someone the age of 30 they look young, 25 year old’s barely look like adults and 18 or younger look like a baby.
Physically my hair, skin, nails, and a dozen other things have changed a bit at some point in the last few years. I get a glimpse of what ‘old’ people mean when they say ‘my (fill in the blank) isn’t like it used to be’. Instead of my hair just being healthy and shiny, I have to condition it more or pick a new style because it is thinning. Instead of washing my face and throwing on a little moisturizer I have to use a toners and serums and twenty other products to help maintain, shape, elasticity, smoothness and firmness and whatever other properties my skin maintained on it own until now. Moisturizer is now bought in bulk. It is like magic that you start noticing aches and pains when you exercise…or don’t exercise.
I can see how these things and more cause someone to want to do a dramatic change around this time in their life, whether it is plastic surgery, or a trip, or buying something extravagant. I get it. Maybe in five or ten years my thoughts and opinions will change-actually I am sure they will but for now my plan in to live and enjoy my confident 40 self and age naturally and gracefully with the aid of topical creams. 😂
As I mentioned earlier, Ryan’s mid life crisis manifested as a new car. Mine will be manifesting itself in 25 days and I am VERY excited! Stay tuned!
