The first phone call, then video call was pretty nerve racking and intense for both Ryan and Sherrie. It took Sherrie several hours before she felt like she could even talk on the phone with Ryan let a lone meet him. Ryan had started looking in December and new the possibility of finding her was on the horizon at some point but from Kenny’s call that he found her to them talking was less then 16 hours. Sherrie had resigned to never knowing about Ryan in this life. She didn’t know his name, if he was alive, or that he had decided to find her. From the time she got the call from Perry it was about 7 hours later Ryan and her talked on the phone.
I sat by him the first few minutes of their first conversation. It was a little weird and awkward, neither one was exactly sure what to say. They both expected that though. The first thing I noticed was her sweet Arkansas accent (that I have a hard time not falling into every time I have talked with her since) and the kindness of her voice. I left shortly after they started talking when Ryan gave me the ok node and they talked for about an hour.
Over the next while they continued to text and occasionally talk on the phone or a video call. Eventually they decided they were ready to meet in person. Ryan said he wanted to meet more of the family eventually but he wanted to meet just Sherrie first. Instead of meeting at one of their own homes they got it worked out to meet at Genevie’s house. Her and her husband would both be working all day so they could have the house to themselves. She lives about 3 1/2 hours from us and 2 hours from Sherrie. Ryan asked if I would go with him but wanted the first meeting to be without the kids so Ross and Lauren helped us out and watched them. We were going to go down the night before and stay in a hotel but things didn’t work out so we left early that morning. We planned to stay a few hours then head home. On the drive down Ryan was a basket case. He kept saying he was hungry, then not hungry, then nauseas, then hungry. I told him I thought he was just very nervous-and he was. We had to switch drivers the last little but because he couldn’t sit still or focus.
We got to Genevieve’s about 11am. On the drive down I asked Ryan if he wanted me to discreetly record their first meeting. He said no because he thought it would make it more weird and awkward then it was already going to be. I said ok and decided I was still going to do it. We got out of the car once we got there and Ryan walked up to the front door, I walked behind him recording without his knowledge. He took several deep breaths and said he might vomit or pass out then range the doorbell.
It was a pretty awesome meeting. Sherri opened the door and they gave each other a really long hug. I got one too. We spent the rest of the afternoon talking. I mostly listened and filled conversation in when there was a lull. I am not usually the one with this job so it was a little weird but I enjoyed watching them get to know each other. Ryan loved hearing about similarities in looks and likes and traits that he had with people in his family. At one point they were exclaiming how excited they were to find out Sherrie has asthma just like Matthew since it is genetic. They talked about lots of different things. Sherrie kept apologizing for giving Ryan away and he kept reassuring her that he was happy and loved his parents and his life they gave him. I brought some pictures for her to look through. There were a few tears from everyone but overall it was a very happy meeting. Sherrie made us lunch and before we new it, it was 4 pm. Ryan was a little more comfortable so he suggested that if Perry and his wife (who lived a few minutes away) wanted to come over he would be fine with that. Robert, Genevieve’s husband and their son Eric also came over because he finished work. At 7pm we decided we had better get home. The day went by really fast and was really nice. Ryan told Kenny and Sherri about it on the way home and then we just reviewed the day and talked about it the rest of the way. I also told Ryan that I had decided to record their first meeting even though he told me not too. He had no idea I had done it and was glad I had.
I haven’t been to many meetings of a birth mom meeting her son she gave up for adoption 42 years after the fact for the first time. I think it couldn’t have gone much better though. It was an awesome experience I was happy I got to witness it. I am excited for Sherrie and Ryan to get to know each other.
