I think this time of year with Spring finally coming and things blooming and changing and getting to be outside more and summer getting close and the school year starting to wrap up I start to feel naustalgic. We have a few months left before we officially finish up the toddler phase of our family and enter the everyone is in school all day phase of our family. It is a bitter sweet feeling. On the obvious side of the perks of having the kids at school and the time that opens up to get stuff done faster and get to things that have been put off for a long time that will be nice. It will be nice to be able to get stuff done so once they get home I can focus on just them and not have other distractions. On the other hand though I will really miss having some company during the day. For the last 12 years of my life I have had at least one of my kids with me for the majority if not all of the day. This is going to be a big change. Things just aren’t the same once they start school, everything speeds up.
I remember before Matthew started kindergarten I thought the parents that said they cried when they took their kids to school for the first time were kind of weird. I envisioned myself doing a cartwheel. Then I took Matthew to kindergarten and I wasn’t crying (ok, I cried when I got home) but it pulled at my heart strings a lot more than I expected. He had been my buddy. He is such a good kid too. He is so kind and pleasant to be around. His cute little giggle and adorable smile. He loved to play and run and do whatever I was doing. He is a thinker and is good at making people around him feel good. One of my favorite memories of Matthew is when he was about 18 months pushing his little bubble lawn mower next to his dad and wearing one of Ryan’s hats while Ryan mowed the lawn. I remember watching them and wishing I could push pause on time for a while. Contrast that to yesterday while Ryan and I were working in the yard and Matthew was riding MY bike in circles in the driveway while he talked with us. He is still an amazing kid but he is starting to get a little teenager in him and doesn’t want to hang out as much as he used to or has a lot of things going on with friends and baseball that keep him busy.
Allison was my saving grace when Matthew started kindergarten. She was still home with me to keep me company. With her little determined independent self accompanied by her cute little bouncing blond pony tails she has always been a force to be wreckened with. She has always been ready to go out and explore the world around her. I could put Matthew and Emilee on a blanket on the grass and they wouldn’t leave because they didn’t like the poky grass. Allison never paused for a second, she would immediatley take off to explore through whatever terrain surrounded her. Her being the middle child Emilee was on her way so she didn’t get as much one on one as everyone else. But we still had many fun times together at the park, or on walks, or story time at the library, playgroup, and anything else we did. She was very good to Emilee and liked to take care of her and help with what she needed. Allison was only going to be five by a couple weeks when she started kindergarten so she only did one year of preschool. She really is an independent person and wants to do everything her older brother does so she had no problem starting school and never looked back. I am more of a home body and she is the exact opposite so sometimes it is exhausting for me to keep her satified with getting out and doing things but I am glad she is that way. She is already great at making things happen instead of waiting for things to happen.
Matthew and Alli were only half day kindergarten, which I thought was perfect for them. Last year was the last year Kansas did half day kindergarten so when Emilee starts next Fall she will be gone all day. I think she will do fine with it. She will be almost six when she starts and has reached the stage where she wants more social interaction and activities going on during the day. I am the one that is going to struggle with it. Emilee is a joyful easy companion. She is fun to take pretty much wherever I go. She has done preschool a few days a week the past two years but it will be very different to have her gone all day. She is my little buddy. I will miss having her joyful little self skipping around the house. I have been feeling a little glum lately wanting to push a pause button on time again. When I got her preschool pictures back it got me thinking about it all again.
I love watching my kids and discovering the traits they were born with from day one and the things they learn and develop along the way. I know I am not done with that either, like I said it is just changing. When we left the baby phase for good, I was a little sad about that too. Our new phase has its perks too. It is pretty easy to hop in the car and go places now. Our Florida trip really was pretty nice, everyone can entertain themselves and can handle being in the car all day. The girls still need a little help but everyone can get themselves ready for things for the most part. I also like them being able to explain and talk things through more, and have a few more reasoning skills.
To sum up, I am happy and gratful I get to be a mom, and I get to be a mom that gets to stay home with her kids. The sleepless nights, blow-outs, being thrown up on, crying, tantrums, fits, sickness, messes, diaper changes, days without a shower, no adult interaction, reading the same book 50 times in a row, singing the ABC’s ‘one more time’, and all the other exhausting sometimes mind numbing activities that aren’t the easiest part of being a mom are completely worth every hug, smile, kiss, giggle, snuggle, laugh, joyful discovery, dried tear, fixed ouchie, silly, funny, happy, once in a lifetime moments that come along with it.
Here is some of my favorite moments from the past few years.
