My cute niece is getting baptized this month. She is a sweet little girl. Her and Allison became pretty good buddies this summer. I’m glad they got to spend a little extra time together, I think she was a good influence for Allison.
Hannah’s Baptism
Category: August
Then vs now-Kindergarten
I think for a post every now and then I am going to pick an event that everyone (or most) of our family has done and compare them or write what we remember about those times. The first one I am going to do it kindergarten.
I’ll go first. I think these memories I have are from kindergarten…but they could be mixed with other memories and I don’t realize it. That’s the product of age plus memories I guess. Like the time when I was telling my mom about our trip to Nauvoo when I was younger and she told me I had never been to Nauvoo. I told her all about the trip and she showed me a picture book with pictures of the events that I had described. Apparently at some point I looked through the pictures and it became a memory of something I did instead of pictures I had seen. Anyway, I digress. Back to kindergarten.
I lived in Loa Utah, in a white house that I believe was on the corner of the street that was a straight shot down to the school. It would have been 1987. I want to say my teachers name was Mrs. Taft but I would have to look that up in a picture book to be sure and I am to lazy to do that right now. I remember learning our letters and she had a little blow up alphabet character for each letter and we could take turns bringing them home sometimes. I remember swinging on the swings and being ‘married’ to someone if we were swinging exactly together. I think we had a nap time. We did have snack time and it was chocolate or regular milk with something to eat. You were not allowed to blow bubbles in your milk or they would take your milk away. I remember blowing bubbles one day without really being aware of it and they took my milk away. I wondered how they even knew I was doing it. I remember wondering how adults knew a lot of things growing up. It makes me chuckle now when I can tell my kids are thinking the same thing. It is usually pretty obvious but in a kids mind you think you are being so sly. I remember our neighbor Clayton that was my age. He had a rabbit and I remember him explaining how to tell if it was a boy or girl and I had no idea what he was talking about because all I could see was fur. I remember telling my mom that I was sick one day when I wasn’t and I thought I was pretty slick because she let me stay home and lay on the couch. I was highly disappointed when everyone got home from school and I felt better and felt good enough to go play with everyone. my mom said I should probably stay on the couch for the rest of the day to make sure I didn’t get sick again. The only other thing I remember about kindergarten in that my dog followed me to school one day and was barking at people. I was worried they were going to take him to the pound but my mom came and got him and took him home.
Ryan lived in Manhattan Kansas. He would have started kindergarten in 1984. He remembers racing out to the jungle gym for recess because everyone tried to race and get the spot on top. His teachers name was Ms Crane. His mom took him to school and he doesn’t really remember anything about in the class and learning. He remembers recesses and looking forward to them. He met his friend Jake Sumners in kindergarten and they are still friends to this day. The only other thing he remembers is how to get to his class room when he got to school.
Matthew went to Scarborough Elementary in Olathe Kansas and had afternoon kindergarten with Mrs Herl in 2012. He says some of his memories are also PE and recess related. He learned how to play color tag and found out that he was a pretty fast runner. His favorite things to do were PE with Mr Simpson. Toilet tag was another favorite that he taught them to play. It is basically freeze tag but when you get tagged you have to put one knee on the ground and hold your hand out. If someone runs by you and ‘flushes’ your hand you can unfreeze and start running again. The first fire drill scared him because he didn’t understand what a drill was. He remembers cutting his knee open when he slid on the rocks at recess and thought he was so tough because he didn’t even know it and it didn’t hurt. There were only 11 kids in his class and of those 11 only 3 were boys. They had two recesses. They had a Halloween costume parade and he was Optimus Prime. When they had career day and were supposed to dress up as what they wanted to be when they grew up he dressed up as a zoo keeper. One of his favorite things when he was in kindergarten was animals. He loved to watch the Nat Geo Wild Channel and his favorite TV show was Wild Kratz. All the parents sent in a couple boxes of something for snacks and if anyone was allergic to any foods they had to bring their own snack.
Allison went to half day morning kindergarten with Ms Ryder in 2015 at Prairie Creek Elementary. For her first Halloween at school she was a Spanish dancer, mostly because she liked the dress, not because she liked dancing. They had one 15 minute recess. I have asked several times what other things she liked about kindergarten and she has repeatedly told me nothing…so this is a short paragraph.
Emilee started full day kindergarten in 2018 with Mrs Pahl also at Prairie Creek. Half day kindergarten is no longer an option. I had to sign a waiver saying any snacks I send to school for Emilee will only be eaten by her and not contain any nuts or be made in a place that has nuts. She has a morning and afternoon recess for 15 minutes each. She is making friends and enjoys it once she gets there but is still a little nervous about going in the morning.
First child vs last child. Pregnancy.
Sometimes I laugh with my friends about how parenting changes from kid to kid. I’m not talking about the differences caused by each kid because they are a different kid. I’m talking about the things that you wouldn’t see a reason for doing different from kid to kid but there seems to be a pretty steady pattern anyway, I will leave it for the reader to figure that pattern out. The reasons for the pattern as you read on are numerous and debatable. Some of the more ‘popular’ or ‘obvious’ I have come up with are; experience, inexperience, perseverance, attrition, hind sight, fortitude, wisdom, time, sanity, lack of sanity, and the amount of sleep to required effort ratio. In no way do the patterns imply or mean that one kid was loved more or less. I love all my kids and they were all cared for and loved and the day I finally got to meet them and bring them home were some of the happiest days of my life. Mostly this is just for my kids to laugh at and compare the ‘unfair’ and ‘unjust’ discrepancies in their childhoods.
Pregnancy.
- Matthew- I bought ‘What to Expect When You’re Expecting’ and read one chapter ahead each week so I would know ‘what to expect’ then read the chapter several times during the week to make sure I remember and new it all.
- Allison- got the book out in case I wanted to reference it, but ended up using it as a coaster on my nightstand instead.
- Emilee- donated the book before I was even pregnant with her because I needed the space for Harry Potter on my shelf.
Birthing Class.
- Matthew- I researched different options, got opinions from others, call or email several different instructors for their credentials. Reserved my spot for a one hour six week class months in advance in case it filled up.
- Allison- laugh that I went to one the first go around.
- Emilee- Are they still doing that?
Birth plan.
- Matthew- The above mentioned class tells me to make a written birth plan to give to my doctor so we are all on the same page when it is time to deliver on ‘how I want the birth to go’. I ask my doctor when she wants me to get that to her and she says- she doesn’t. I’m relieved because it sounds like homework and I didn’t want to do it anyway. My plan is to go to the hospital and let them take it from there.
- Allison- Silently judge people (mostly silently) that actually do this…plan all you want the baby is coming how and when they want. Go to the hospital and let them take it from there.
- Emilee- Get this baby out of me as fast and painless as possible.
Pain Management.
- Matthew- Learn everything about getting an epideral and possible side effects for me and the baby. Want an epideral but feel a little guilty that I’m not ‘tough’ enough or ‘am willing to risk’ a fore mentioned risks involved. Decide I am a fan of modern medicine and have nothing to prove or be a hero about and get an epideral.
- Allison- Request an epideral immediately after checking into the hospital.
- Emilee- tell the front desk to get the epideral on the way before I am even checked into the hospital.
Packing bag.
- Matthew- Bring way to much crap to prepare for any possible scenario to the hospital including living there for 6 months and twelve different options for a first outfit picture.
- Allison-Have one small bag packed and ready, Ryan can get anything I don’t have.
- Emilee- if the hospital doesn’t have it I’ll go without for 36 hours.
Going to the hospital.
- Matthew- Call the doctor, nurse, and hospital tell them everything that is going on and refer to book every five minutes until deciding it is really time to go to the hospital.
- Allison- Schedule and induction date leave Matthew with grandma and check in and out of the hospital on schedule.
- Emilee- Get a haircut and a pedicure when I start having regular contractions two weeks early so my toes are cute while I’m in the hospital. Call Ross and Lauren last minute to drop the kids off on the way to the hospital because I was planning on having grandma watch the kids for another induction date in two weeks and had made no back up plan. Show up at the hospital without calling them or my doctor.
Husband during labor.
Matthew- Eat Chipotle in front of me while I am in labor, starving and only allowed ice chips. Have to go sit down with his head between his knees and breathe in a bag when I get an epideral.
Allison- Sneak me a bite of his Chipotle while I am in labor, starving and only allowed ice chips because he feels guilty for eating in front of me last time, I throw it up. Have to go sit down with his head between his knees and breathe in a bag when I get an epideral.
Emilee- Eat Chipotle in front of me while I am in labor, starving and only allowed ice chips, refuse to share with me when I ask because last time I threw up and ‘that was gross’. Have to go sit down with his head between his knees and breathe in a bag when I get an epideral.
Babies first night in hospital.
- Matthew- Refuse the offers to take him out of my room for any reason because the book said there are creepers standing outside my door waiting to swap my baby or sneak them past the hospitals security protocols and I am his mother and can take care of him myself without any help even though this is the first 5 minutes I have been responsible for another human beings complete safety and well being and I am exhausted. Ryan sleeps on the sofa so I am not alone and complains its the worst night sleep in his life.
- Allison- I agree to let them take her to the nursery so I can rest. Call and make the nurse come back immediately because in my exhausted state I didn’t feel I looked close enough at her credentials before she took Alli. Her credentials look legit so I let them take her and get a nap. It is glorious. Ryan settles in for the second worst nights sleep of his life on the hospital couch.
- Emilee- She doesn’t cry AT ALL in the hospital, she stays with us during the day but off to the nursery at night so I can sleep. I try to convince Ryan to follow them to the nursery, he says I am paranoid. Ryan tries to suggest he sleeps at home but I tell him to get comfy in case I need something.
First outing.
- Matthew- Pack EVERYTHING I might possibly need in case we never come home again in my diaper bag, back-up diaper bag, and the back-up back-up diaper bag. Arrive an hour late because I had to change him and me twice when he pooped on us, threw up on us, and then had to go back because I forgot the back-up diaper bag. Upon arrival, look down and realize instead of shoes I am wearing fuzzy neon blue slippers.
- Allison- Chuck the back-up diaper bags, decide to carry one bag to be my purse and diaper bag. Keep a pair of flip flops in my car for when I forget to change my slippers. Arrive only a few minutes late but look completely disheveled.
- Emilee- If you need me, you can find me at my house wearing my fuzzy blue slippers, until I feel like taking three kids somewhere. I get a cute really big purse keep wipes, diaper, and a plastic bag inside for outings. Emilee wears nothing but a diaper for the rest of church several times after she has a blow out.
Bottle/Nursing Starting Solids
- Matthew- Have a strict rotation schedule alternating bottle and nursing so he doesn’t get ‘nipple confusion’ start introducing solids at the earliest possible time. Spend hours coaxing him to eat, measuring what he eats, and introduce foods every two weeks.
- Allison- Try nursing for two weeks, then switch to pumping and bottle only because it is not working. Wait as long as possible to start solids, introduce a new food every 3-4 days.
- Emilee- She gets her tongue clipped in the hospital so she can nurse without killing me. Takes a bottle or nurses with no issue. Start solids as late as possible. Mostly fed by Allison because that entertains them both.
Toys for baby.
- Matthew- Pre-wash ALL toys before Matthew is allowed to play with them. If any other kid touches or plays with a toy it has to be washed again. Otherwise, all toys will be washed on a monthly basis. All toys have all parts, fresh batteries and are in perfect working order. Buy way to many toys that he doesn’t even care about.
- Allison- Throw out washing toys unless there is visible body fluids, its good for their immune system. Buy a few pink toys so she has ‘girl toys’ and take batteries our of any noise making toys. Giveaway half the toys because we have to many.
- Emilee- She can play with whatever is around the house as long as it isn’t toxic, sharp, or hot. If a toy hasn’t been touched for a month I’m giving it away because I’m tired of stepping on it. No batteries aloud.
Adjusting
The kids have been in school a little over a week now. Everyone is still adjusting and getting used to the new schedules.
Emilee. It is a big change for her to go to all day kindergarten. The thing she keeps telling me the most is, “It is sooooooo looooong!” She is mentally and physically tired when she gets home. The first few days she came home and immediately laid on the couch and didn’t move for a show or two. Then she started coming home and having to play with her toys right away. I think it is her way of unwinding and processing her new environment. She has always been pretty good playing but it is a very pressing need for her when she comes home. She gets a little anxious at night when she is going to sleep on on the way to school in the morning about going but once she is there she does great. I ate lunch with her last week and she seems to be making friends and having a fun time. Several of her classmates said hi to her and waved when they walked past. She likes taking lunch and getting school lunch. She is growing up. I think I hold on to her a little more than I did the others because she is my last. She seems so young to me still but she is the same age Matthew was and a year older than Allison was when she started kindergarten.
Allison. She seems to have jumped into everything the easiest. This is her fourth year with the same group of kids so she is getting to know them pretty good. She has a young new teacher, which for some reason she has always wanted. Her best friend Carlee is at the new elementary school this year and I was a little worried about that. I asked her who she was playing with at recess and if she had made any friends. In true Alli fashion she told me she had enough friends and played with them at recess when she wanted to. She has been a little more tired than usual but otherwise seems to be doing great. I think this year will be a little more challenging for her which is good. She is smart and I don’t feel like she hasn’t been challenged as much as she could so far in her school. She is in a hurry to grow up so when she feels like she is getting more responsibility she usually does well with that. Having more homework will be more of a challenge for both of us though. She tends to take all evening doing it a little bit at a time which drives me crazy. I need to let her figure it out on her own but it is hard for me to step back sometimes, especially when there isn’t really a consequence at school for it. I think this year will be different.
Matthew. He started 6th grade which is middle school. He changes classes, has a locker, dresses out for PE, and rides the bus. He seemed to be doing fine, and reported that everything was fine, but after about the third day it was pretty evident that he was a little more stressed out then he was letting on. It takes him about 15 minutes to get ready for school in the morning. The bus picks him up in front of our house at 7:07. He was getting up at 6:15, I told him after the first day or two that he could probably sleep in 15 or 20 more minutes if he wanted and he lost it that he would miss the bus. We have been eating breakfast at 6:45 and reading scriptures and he starts panicking that he is going to miss the bus if we aren’t done by 6:55. He has had many meltdowns about…anything and everything. He finally said that he felt really unorganized and didn’t know how to keep track of everything. Once we got that figured out he seemed a little better. He is playing football and baseball on top of school, home, and youth night too. I have told him that we are never doing two sports again because it is to much. I think he will be fine with that though. Football is not as great as he thought it would be (thank goodness!!) he isn’t as aggressive as he needs to be for it. I think in another week or two he will be settled in and have the hang of everything.
First Day of School!
Summer ended and we have started a new school year!
Matthew is starting his first year of middle school in 6th grade. We went and walked his schedule and practiced opening his locker. The bus picks him up our front at 7:07 am. He wakes up at 6:15 and is ready by 6:30 then stresses that he is going to miss the bus if I don’t let him go out to the bus stop before 7. Then he gets home from school at 4:15. They added a last minute PE class as an option for an elective. He wanted to drop art and take the PE class instead but we talked him into sticking with art because he already has a PE class and he plays plenty of sports.He thought he would be the only boy in art class but was pleasantly surprised to find more boys than girls in art. He figured out how dressing out for PE works and seems to be settling in pretty good. The school gives everyone a computer that is theirs for the school year. He thinks its pretty cool to have his own computer.
Allison is in 3rd grade this year. They have new chairs that don’t look like chairs at all and spin, she thought that was great. Her teacher is very young and this might be her first year teaching but Allison seems to like her. She was ready to go to school and sits by a few people that she already knew. Her best friend Carlee is going to the new elementary school that was just built so I was a little worried she would struggle with finding some new friends but she has seemed to do great. She likes being the one in charge walking home since she is the oldest now. It has only been a few days but she has been doing a good job at being kind and watching out for Emilee. Her lunch is one of the earliest at 11 am, last year it was at noon and she was always starving to death so she was excited to have an earlier lunch this year. She wanted me to walk her to class and then leave. No need for staying around or dragging anything out.
Emilee started kindergarten! She was really excited when we got her a new backpack and shoes and picked out her new outfit for the first day. When we went back to school night and realized that I would not be going to school with her she back peddled a little and said she no longer wanted to go to school. She was pretty shy when we got there the first day and hid her face behind her hair, but has been doing great. She likes deciding if she should eat a school lunch or take her own. She is still adjusting to how long it is and when it is bedtime says she doesn’t want to go to school but is always up and ready in the morning. The girls wake up at 6:45 for breakfast, prayers, and scriptures. That was a big concern for Emilee, she is not an early riser but she seems to be doing ok with it so far.
I am adjusting to my new normal, with no kids home during the day. It is exciting and I look forward to having the day to get my stuff done and then be able to focus just on my kids when they get home. I had a little more of the panic, nervous, anxious feelings though then I expected. Sending all three of my kids off to school all day for someone else to take care of, influence them and make sure they are safe makes my anxiety go up.
Allison’s Baptism
Allison turned 8 on her last birthday so we had her baptism this past weekend. Both grandparents were able to come and Ross and Lauren’s family came, plus a few friends. It was a pretty good day. A year ago she was telling us she would never get baptized. Then a little before her birthday she decided it was something she did want to do. She helped me pick our her new scriptures for church and a carrying case for them. Her baptism was at 5 pm on Saturday so we spent the day at our house, visiting and playing with cousins and eating lunch together. She looked beautiful and did a great job. When her dad gave her the gift of the Holy Ghost he told her she was a valiant and tenacious spirit. I loved those words to describe her. Sometimes when we talk or teach Allison something about church she gets irritable and prickly and doesn’t want to listen or do it. She didn’t want to have a FHE on baptism, practice how to do the baptism, or invite anyone to her baptism. I think it is mostly the source of the information. One more thing that mom and dad are ‘talking at her about’. She doesn’t like to talk about how she feels or explain things that we read to me but I think that she feels the spirit and somethings are sinking in. It was really sweet after her confirmation she shook everyone’s hand or hugged them. When she got to her dad she hugged him and just held on for a little while. That is not very typical of Allison. After her baptism and confirmation she wanted to have donuts and root beer for refreshments. Grandma and Grandpa Jones gave her a picture of a path through a forest to remind her to stay on the right path. Grandma and Grandpa Terry gave her a necklace that was an 8 to remind her of her special day. Dad and I gave her scriptures and a little book to write down stuff about her day.
As a little side note, while Alli was getting changed after her baptism, her friend Michael Dunn asked his mom to look up her birthstone. She told him it was a ruby. He said, “Ok, I am going to give her a ruby with diamonds around it for her wedding ring.” They have been friends since they were born and their older siblings tease them that they are boyfriend and girlfriend, which bothers neither of them at all.
Dear Allison
Dear Allison,
This year is a big year for you. There is a lot of growing up in third grade. You are getting old enough that more will be expected and required of you. Your teacher will expect more responsibility from you. I want you to be a happy person Allison. Sometimes you might not think that, but I promise you it is true. I want nothing but the best for you. I want you to have real life long happiness. You are a sweet special girl to me. I LOVE YOU!! So, here are a few things I want you to remember as you start your third grade school year.
Pick good friends. Friends are important. Friends feel like everything, but if you don’t choose wisely, you can easily end up where you don’t want to be. Pick friends that have high standards. That think learning is cool, and that make you feel good about yourself. Pick friends that aren’t into being mean, and controlling you, and putting others down. Pick friends that want to do good, and be kind, even when someone isn’t kind back. Remember to be a good friend to others too. If you are kind and happy, you will attract kind and happy people. You are lucky to have a sister and a brother to be your friend your whole life. They can always be a friend when you need one.
Be yourself. Just because all your friends want to do something, doesn’t mean you have to. True friends will admire your confidence in being true to yourself. You are blessed with confidence Allison. I love that about you. Sometimes I think you feel like you have to be perfect and know everything. You don’t sweetheart. It is okay to admit you don’t know something. If you aren’t sure about something it is okay to ask for help. It will actually help you be more confident to recognize when you need a little extra help. It is good to let others help you.
Take care of your body. You do a good job at getting ready and wanting to look nice when you go places. That doesn’t mean having the trendiest clothes or the coolest shoes, or looking like someone else. You are a beautiful girl Allison. I want you to feel pretty and special and comfortable. Don’t stress about what everyone else wears or how they do their hair and having to be like them. You are beautiful the way you are. I love helping you do your hair and make sure you have clean nice clothes to wear. I want to help you. I love it when you accept my help. Your body is a gift, feed it good healthy food, drink water, and keep it clean. You are gifted at gymnastics. Use your talent to have fun, learn, and grow. Challenge yourself to learn and be able to do new things. Let your coaches help challenge you. Remember to take care of your body physically, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. All are very important.
School is important. Remember to enjoy learning and really learn stuff. Not just learn it enough to pass the test then forget it. I wish I had taken more time to enjoy learning when I was in school. It is hard to imagine now but when you are done with school, you will miss it sometimes. Having no responsibilities other than learning doesn’t happen as much the older you get, if ever. Enjoy that opportunity now.
Have fun. You’re going to be adjusting to a lot of new experiences in school, and it’s important to have fun. Try not to worry about being perfect, and relax into everything that comes your way. You only get to be this age once– you don’t need to grow up too fast.
Talk to us. If you’ll talk to me, I promise I’ll try to be understanding. I’ve been there. Friends hurt my feelings. I hurt my friends’ feelings. I made mistakes. I also know you’ll hear and see a lot of things that might make you scared, or worried, or confused. Talk to your dad and I about them, and I promise, you’ll feel better. Your dad and I love you like no one else does, and we always want to help you.
Don’t get wrapped up in girl drama. Sometimes girls aren’t nice. I wish I could stop you from ever having someone say something mean to you but I can’t. I can help you when you feel sad or your feelings are hurt though. Always remember to not be the mean girl too. Remember how you feel when your feelings are hurt and don’t make others feel that way by being mean, even when it is hard. You are a funny, smart, creative girl Allison. I love it when you share your kindness and happy side with me. Other people love it too.
Be the example. It’s hard being the example, and sometimes it sucks. But, people will look up to you for standing out, making good choices, and being kind even when you feel uncomfortable or uncool. Kids can be mean. So, stand up to the bullies, speak out against things you know are wrong, and don’t be afraid to be different. Even when it sucks. You might miss out on things, but I promise it’s not the end of the world, even though it feels like it. Be the example when you can, because you are brave, and strong.
Remember that we love you. I may not always know exactly how you feel, but I was your age once, and I remember the fun and not so fun things about third grade. You are never alone. You have a family that loves you, and even though we fight and argue sometimes you are one of my greatest treasures Allison. I love you more than I can explain. No mistake you make will ever make me feel different. YOU WILL ALWAYS BE LOVED. No matter what. Your Heavenly Father loves you too. No matter what situation or where you are, you are never alone. Heavenly Father is always there and will here and answer your prayers. I know this Allison. I promise you this. There have been many times in my life when He has comforted me, helped me, protected me, guided me, and reminded me that I am never alone and He loves me. Learn to listen, recognize and follow the promptings you receive from the Holy Ghost. You get them daily. It takes a lot of practice, but you are so amazing and smart and I know you can do anything you put your mind too.
Enjoy third grade my beautiful girl! You’ve got parents at home that always have your back. You are a power house Allison. You have the tenacity, brains, courage, and confidence to do so much good in your life, and bring so much happiness to those around you and yourself if you choose. You are beautiful inside and out. Don’t be shy about showing others how kind and thoughtful and sweet you are. I know we sometimes drive each other crazy but I wouldn’t trade you for anyone else in the entire galaxy. I love being your mom. I am blessed to be your mom. I love you!
Dear Matthew
Every year at Christmas I write each of my kids a letter from me that I put in their stocking for them. Sometimes they read them but most of the time it is quickly forgotten in the excitement of Christmas. I keep them for them each year and when they are older they can have them. I came across an article the other day that was about starting middle school. It got me thinking and I decided that I wanted to write Matthew and Allison a letter for starting school this year. I left it on their pillows for them but I decided to put it here for when they are older. It is my proof that I told them these things at some point too. Don’t worry Emilee, I will make you a fun picture or something with a note. You can’t read yet anyway. 🙂
Dear Matthew,
I’ve been thinking about you starting middle school next week a lot. I am excited for you. When I look back at any time in my life and what I was doing, most of the time there are a few “I wish I had known…” or “I wish I had done…” thoughts mixed in with all the memories and experiences. A little perspective it always helpful but ironically when you are in the middle of something it is sometimes the hardest point to get perspective from. It is hard to remember every specific thing you are taught but the hope is that eventually with enough reminders and repetition things will start to sink in and help you grow and develop your character, habits, and traits into a happy successful person. So, here are a few things I want you to remember as you start your middle school adventure.
Pick good friends. Friends are important. Friends feel like everything sometimes between now and through college, but if you don’t choose wisely, you can easily end up where you don’t want to be. Pick friends that have high standards. That think learning is cool, and that make you feel good about yourself. Pick friends that aren’t into being petty, and controlling you, and putting others down. Pick friends that want to do good, and value being kind, even when someone isn’t kind back.
Be yourself-confidence looks good on you. Middle school is a time to figure out who you want to be. You are trying to fit in, and that’s totally normal, but don’t blur who you really are with who you think you should be. Just because all your friends want to do something, doesn’t mean you have to. When they question you, don’t be afraid to just tell them that you’re not that interested. True friends will admire your confidence in being true to yourself. Confidence will always be a good look on you. I have seen your confidence growing the past year. I love it. I know you are more on the shy side and that is hard to overcome. Your dad and I both had that too, we know how you feel. When we push you we are trying to help you realize that the uncomfortableness is okay to push through so you don’t hold yourself back. Challenge yourself to continue to overcome that and develop your confidence.
Take care of your body. Wear deodorant, and take pride in how you look. That doesn’t mean having the trendiest clothes or the coolest shoes. It means that you should take the time to look presentable, put together, and ready for whatever life throws at you. No need to impress anyone with your clothes, but instead focus on treating your body as a gift. It is one. Feed it good healthy food, hydrate it, and trim your toe nails. J You know dads saying, ‘don’t be the stinky kid’. You are pretty good at this but as you get another year or two older it might feel like more of a struggle to do. You are gifted with a pretty good athletic ability Matthew. Use your talent to have fun, learn, and grow. Remember to take care of your body physically, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. All are very important.
School is important. You will have a lot more social activities, but school work is actually good. I am very impressed with your self-motivation and responsibility since you were in kindergarten to come home and do your school work and stay on top of all your assignments with very little if any reminding or help from me. Remember to enjoy learning and really learn stuff. Not just learn it enough to pass the test then forget it. I wish I had taken more time to enjoy things I was learning and process and internalize it more. It is hard to imagine now but when you are older and done with school, you will miss it sometimes. Having no responsibilities other than learning doesn’t happen as much the older you get, if ever. Enjoy that opportunity now.
Have fun. You’re going to be adjusting to a lot of new experiences in middle school, and it’s important to have fun. Try not to worry about being perfect, and relax into everything that gets thrown your way. You only get to be this age once– you don’t need to grow up too fast.
Talk to us. If you’ll talk to me, I promise I’ll try to be understanding. I’ve been there. I was awkward. Friends hurt my feelings. I hurt my friends’ feelings. I made mistakes. I also know you’ll hear and see a lot of things that might make you scared, or worried, or just plain confused. Talk to your dad and I about them, and I promise, you’ll feel better. Friends are a great resource, but your dad and I love you like no one else does, and we have a pretty decent perspective since we already went through middle school.
Don’t get wrapped up in girl drama. Middle school girls are full of hormones and drama. It’s a given. Be kind and honest with them, don’t make fun of or tease them for their feelings. Don’t play games with people’s emotions and feelings, or let them play games with yours. Respect them, and expect respect back. They are a person just like you, talk and act like yourself around them.
Electronics are not required. Your dad and I have talked to you about this often and a lot, and we will keep doing it. There are relationships to work on, books to read, and life to live. Don’t get sucked into what is happening on social media, the older you get the more you will feel the pressure for this. Social media is not required or necessary for having a happy social life. Video games are not required for a happy successful life. Go outside and live life, do something good for someone, create a memory, develop your talents.
Be the example. It’s hard being the example, and sometimes it sucks. But, people will look up to you for standing out, making good choices, and being kind even when you feel awkward or uncool. Kids can be mean. But, you’re not. So, stand up to the bullies, speak out against things you know are wrong, and don’t be afraid to be different. Even when it sucks. Sure, you might miss out on things, but I promise it’s not the end of the world, even though it feels like it. Be the example when you can, because you are brave, and strong.
Remember that we love you. I may not always know exactly how you feel, but you are never alone. You have a family that loves you, and we’ll always try to be a soft landing place for you when you fall. No mistake you make will ever make us feel different. YOU WILL ALWAYS BE LOVED. No matter what. Your Heavenly Father loves you too. No matter what situation or where you are, you are never alone. Heavenly Father is always there and will here and answer your prayers. I know this Matthew. I promise you this. There have been many times in my life when He has comforted me, helped me, protected me, guided me, and reminded me that I am never alone and He loves me. Learn to listen and follow the promptings you receive from the Holy Ghost. You get them daily. You will never regret it.
As you start middle school, remember that you’ve got this. You’re ready. You’ve got parents at home that always have your back. You are a very good person Matthew. I truly enjoy watching you grow and become the person you are. You have a good, kind, gentle, generous, loving heart. You came that way straight from Heaven the day you were born. I am blessed to be your mom. I love you!