Author: Janae

Hanging out with Emilee…Allison gets it done.

Emilee and I got to hang out together while Matthew and Alli were at theater camp. Just list old times. While she loves hanging out with me she likes being like her older siblings and wanted to do a camp too. I asked her what she wanted to do for her camp and she said, “Go to Ms. Sheila’s” Ms Sheila is one of the people that watches her while I work sometimes. Which sounds about right, I have tried a few different activities like soccer and basketball for Emilee and she is not a fan. She just wants a few buddies to run around and play with and do whatever their imaginations come up with. I was happy to oblige her wish so for Monday and Wednesday she went to ‘Ms Sheila Camp’ while I had two days to catch up on my to do list-and a little R & R. The other days we tried to do something different than the usual too. We invited her bestie Reese over to play one of the days. We went to Crown Center and did the 50 States Exhibit and Kaleidoscope by Hallmark with some friends. Kaleidoscope is basically an amazing room decorated for kids with tons of different stations for them to be creative at. They just let them in and they have 50 minutes to craft to their hearts content however they want. They had a great time playing together and I got to catch up with my friends too. It is nice when your kids friends are parented by your friends too. We finished off that day with a meal at the train restaurant, Fritz’s. It is a favorite for kids. It is a burger and fries place that you get to order over the telephone at your table from, and then it is delivered to your table by trains that are driving around on the tracks above you while you are eating. The food is okay at best but that doesn’t matter because they bring your food to you by train.

The last day we played at home together and did a favorite activity of both of ours ‘snuggle and a Disney movie’. We had a good week. It was nice to get a little bit of one on one time before she starts school all day in the Fall. The pictures of her in the red cape tug at my heart strings a little. She bounced out on the porch making her ‘pewpewpew’ sounds with the squirt bottle. I asked her what she was doing and she said she was a super hero so she was getting the bad guys. She has a great imagination and I love seeing her use it. It will be a sad day when she outgrows it and there are no more super hero’s, dragons, puppies, mermaids, or whatever else she comes up with running around the house.

When it was time for the showcase she was excited to cheer them on. She wanted to dress up a little so she could be like Allison. This is an irritation to Allison, but I tell her she needs to get used to it and make sure she is setting a good example for her sister because she is going to copy her a lot. Allison gave me a big eye roll and a ‘whatever’ as her and her attitude walked off. Emilee loved the show. I asked her if she would want to do it sometime and she said she would think about it. She likes to live vicariously through others it seems.

Actually she is the most shy of any of my kids.  A trait they have unfortunately inherited from Ryan and I when we were younger. Matthew is a close second but he is getting a little more confident. Allison doesn’t have a shy bone in her, anywhere…ever. Both Matthew and Emilee have been caught sending Alli to knock on a door for a lost ball, or ask an adult a question for them, and when they are together Allison does all the talking for everyone if I let her while Matthew and Emilee stand behind her and try to avoid eye contact. Allison’s boldness comes in handy for all of us. Just the other night we went to dinner with Ross and Lauren and Texas Roadhouse. We waited the 40 minutes, plus 10. Ross checked on the wait and they said it would be another 10-15. So 20 minutes later we let Allison go ask how long our table would take, I told her she had to be polite.  I don’t know if it was a coincidence or not but they buzzed us shortly after she went in to talk to them. Allison can be determined and I like letting other people besides me to have a turn sometimes. One year when we were handing out cookies for Christmas to friends, the kids were taking turns ringing the bell and handing the cookies to whoever answered the door and saying Merry Christmas. Emilee refused to get out of the car for all of them except Ms. Cristi. Matthew would ring the bell and hold the cookies out and then crank his head around as far as he could to avoid eye contact and mumble Merry Christmas and make a run for the car as soon as they took the cookies. Allison checked her hair and stance before allowing the doorbell to be rung for her. Then clear her throat and say in her loudest voice, “Merry Christmas Ho! Ho! Ho!” when they answered the door.

Ryan’s talk

It was Ryan’s turn to give a talk. He did a great job.

Discerning Truth

Last week in Priests Quorum, I told them I was speaking this week and told them my topic, and asked them what I should talk about.  The suggestions ranged from – you should start with an interesting or funny story or I’ll probably lose interest, to a suggestion of talking about fake news stories about how much ice cream Donald Trump eats after his meals.  I thought that was kinda funny and I looked into the story and it probably isn’t appropriate to talk about that particular story here, but I did think it was insightful that in today’s world we are bombarded by fake news, not just about political items, but far more importantly about spiritual things.

In reality, while fake news is a somewhat recently coined term, the pursuit of truth isn’t something new.  Sometimes I wonder why truth isn’t always easier to find for people.  The answer is actually probably simple – because the adversary doesn’t want us to know the truth.

Elder Ballard talks about the adversary’s deception in a recent conference talk, he says…Like the fly fisherman who knows that trout are driven by hunger, Lucifer knows our “hunger,” or weaknesses, and tempts us with counterfeit lures which, if taken, can cause us to be yanked from the stream of life into his unmerciful influence. And unlike a fly fisherman who catches and releases the fish unharmed back into the water, Lucifer will not voluntarily let go. His goal is to make his victims as miserable as he is

Lucifer is a clever and cunning intelligence. One of the main methods he uses against us is his ability to lie and deceive to convince us that evil is good and good is evil. Satan and his minions have their lures all around us, hoping that we will falter and take his flies so he can reel us in with counterfeit means.

In he kingdom of God, the search for truth is appreciated, encouraged, and in no way repressed or feared. Church members are strongly counseled by the Lord Himself to seek for knowledge.2 He said, “Seek ye diligently … ; yea, seek ye out of the best books words of wisdom; seek learning, even by study and also by faith.”3However, how can we recognize truth in a world that is increasingly blunt in its attacks on the things pertaining to God?

And our Heavenly Father has given us agency to grow and to learn.  But he also has given us several ways to discern truth in our lives – and I’d like to talk about a few of them.

The first way we can learn truth is through personal revelation.

The question of truth is really what spurred the restoration of the gospel and our church.  In the early 1800’s, Joseph Smith wanted to know the truth.  He struggled with the worthy question of what church to attend – in his words he described that time as “an unusual excitement on the subject of religion” in the area he lived.  He said

Joseph Smith History:  10 In the midst of this war of words and tumult of opinions, I often said to myself: What is to be done? Who of all these parties are right; or, are they all wrong together? If any one of them be right, which is it, and how shall I know it?

11 While I was laboring under the extreme difficulties caused by the contests of these parties of religionists, I was one day reading the Epistle of James, first chapter and fifth verse, which reads: If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.

12 Never did any passage of scripture come with more power to the heart of man than this did at this time to mine. It seemed to enter with great force into every feeling of my heart. I reflected on it again and again, knowing that if any person needed wisdom from God, I did; for how to act I did not know, and unless I could get more wisdom than I then had, I would never know; for the teachers of religion of the different sects understood the same passages of scripture so differently as to destroy all confidence in settling the question by an appeal to the Bible.

13 At length I came to the conclusion that I must either remain in darkness and confusion, or else I must do as James directs, that is, ask of God. I at length came to the determination to “ask of God,” concluding that if he gave wisdom to them that lacked wisdom, and would give liberally, and not upbraid, I might venture.

So Joseph Smith, before he had the First Vision, was taught by personal revelation.  Not all of us will have miraculous experiences and see visions, but we all learn truth, as Joseph did, through the personal revelation through the Holy Ghost.

2Nephi2:6-8  Wherefore, redemption cometh in and through the Holy Messiah; for he is full of grace and truth.

7 Behold, he offereth himself a sacrifice for sin, to answer the ends of the law, unto all those who have a broken heart and a contrite spirit; and unto none else can the ends of the law be answered.

8 Wherefore, how great the importance to make these things known unto the inhabitants of the earth, that they may know that there is no flesh that can dwell in the presence of God, save it be through the merits, and mercy, and grace of the Holy Messiah

I had an experience when I was a missionary in South America.  Many communities in South America have open markets… he told a story here in his own words about a lady that asked about the church. His companion started talking with her, he was a new missionary and thought they would never get anywhere talking with her in a crowded loud market. They basically gave her the first discussion (thats how missionaries taught at the time) and there was no doubt the spirit was there and confirmed the truth to her of Joseph Smith praying and having God appear and answer his question.

The second way we can discern truth is by observing it’s fruits, and experimenting on the word. During the Sermon on the Mount, the Lord said:

“Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit. …

“Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.”4

In Alma 32, Alma is teaching those that had been kicked out of their places of worship because they were poor as to the things of the world.  He said…

28 Now, we will compare the word unto a seed. Now, if ye give place, that a seed may be planted in your heart, behold, if it be a true seed, or a good seed, if ye do not cast it out by your unbelief, that ye will resist the Spirit of the Lord, behold, it will begin to swell within your breasts; and when you feel these swelling motions, ye will begin to say within yourselves—It must needs be that this is a good seed, or that the word is good, for it beginneth to enlarge my soul; yea, it beginneth to enlighten my understanding, yea, it beginneth to be delicious to me.

29 Now behold, would not this increase your faith? I say unto you, Yea; nevertheless it hath not grown up to a perfect knowledge.

30 But behold, as the seed swelleth, and sprouteth, and beginneth to grow, then you must needs say that the seed is good; for behold it swelleth, and sprouteth, and beginneth to grow. And now, behold, will not this strengthen your faith? Yea, it will strengthen your faith: for ye will say I know that this is a good seed; for behold it sprouteth and beginneth to grow.

31 And now, behold, are ye sure that this is a good seed? I say unto you, Yea; for every seed bringeth forth unto its own likeness.

Thus the scriptures teach us that we can know the truth by observing its fruits or by experimenting with it personally, giving place for the word in our hearts and cultivating it like unto a seed.

The last way to discern truth is through the Gift of the Holy Ghost.

Elder Eyring, in speaking of the Holy Ghost said

During our confirmation we heard these words: “Receive the Holy Ghost.”1 From that moment, our lives changed forever.

We can, if we live worthy of it, have the blessing of the Spirit to be with us, not only now and then…but always. You know from the words of the sacrament prayer how that promise is fulfilled: “O God, the Eternal Father, we ask thee in the name of thy Son, Jesus Christ, to bless and sanctify this bread to the souls of all those who partake of it, that they may eat in remembrance of the body of thy Son, and witness unto thee, O God, the Eternal Father, that they are willing to take upon them the name of thy Son, and always remember him and keep his commandments which he has given them.”

And then comes the glorious promise: “That they may always have his Spirit to be with them” (D&C 20:77; emphasis added).

To always have the Spirit with us is to have the guidance and direction of the Holy Ghost in our daily lives. We can, for instance, be warned by the Spirit to resist the temptation to do evil.

For that reason alone, it is easy to see why the Lord’s servants have tried to increase our desire to worship God in our sacrament meetings. If we partake of the sacrament in faith, the Holy Ghost will then be able to protect us and those we love from the temptations that come with increasing intensity and frequency.

The companionship of the Holy Ghost makes what is good more attractive and temptation less compelling. That alone should be enough to make us determined to qualify for the Spirit to be with us always.

Just as the Holy Ghost strengthens us against evil, He also gives us the power to discern truth from falsehood. The truth that matters most is verified only by revelation from God. Our human reason and the use of our physical senses will not be enough. We live in a time when even the wisest will be hard-pressed to distinguish truth from clever deception.

The truths that mark the way home to God are verified by the Holy Ghost. We cannot go to the grove and see the Father and the Son speak to the young Joseph Smith. No physical evidence or any logical argument can establish that Elijah came as promised to confer the priesthood keys, now held and exercised by a living prophet.

Confirmation of truth comes to a son or daughter of God who has claimed the right to receive the Holy Ghost. Since falsehoods and lies may be presented to us at any time, we need a constant influence of the Spirit of Truth to spare us moments of doubt.

Boyd K Packer:  Tolerance is a virtue, but like all virtues, when exaggerated, it transforms itself into a vice. We need to be careful of the “tolerance trap” so that we are not swallowed up in it.

 

The Greatest Showman Showcase

Matthew and Alli did a theater camp last week. It was a day camp and they learned the songs and some choreography to several songs from “The Greatest Showman”. They practiced 9-3 everyday Monday thru Friday and then on Friday they put on their showcase.

They both had a friend to do it with. I think I have decided that when I have my kids try something new in the future I will have them do it without a friend. When they try something new with a friend sometimes the influence from the friend affects their opinions before they make their own mind up if they like it or not. Or they are so distracted talking with their friend they don’t pay attention as much. I think if they decide they like something they will make new friends with the same interests while they are doing it.

Matthew was a little skeptical about doing it. He was not interested at all on Monday because there was a birthday party he wanted to be at instead. I split the difference with him and he went to the party late and left camp early. After that though he really enjoyed it. Allison volunteered him to try out for a solo and he got one. I think he sang it a thousand times the rest of the week before he did it. He was also one of the oldest boys there and he is coordinated and has a little muscle to him so when they practiced some tricks on the silks, he was picked to do it for the show. He explained to me several times how one slip would flip him upside down and crack his head wide open. I assured him I was confident in his abilities which he agreed would not be an issue. 🙂

Allison needed a little reminding after the first day that her job was to participate and listen not hang out in the bathroom with her friend and chat all day.  She learned her parts and new the songs and dances really well but she has no interest in impressing anyone or putting in a little extra work so she just didn’t care to go the extra mile.  She did know all the ‘drama’ that went on with everyone and everything. I don’t know how she does it.

My part was dressing them both up which I had a great time with. Matthew wore whatever I bought him and looked great. Alli requested a few changes with what I originally picked out for her but was all about dressing up and having her makeup done. They were both good sports about it and looked great. Matthew nailed his solo and he and Alli didn’t miss a beat on their dancing.

When it was all said and done they said they had a fun week. Allison is the one I was hoping would love it and want to keep doing it. I have always thought that she would like to be involved in theater. She said she wants to do one with less singing. This one was all singing so I might try another one with her and see if she likes it. The have several theater classes you can take to learn and try different things. I need to look into it more. Matthew asked me on his own if I would look and see what other shows they did and depending on what they are he might be interested. He is working on being a well rounded kid. He is one of those people that is good at whatever they do. So far at least he stays humble with it and has his genuine kind personality.

Matthew is the second soloist in the video above.

That’s a wrap!

Baseball has come to a close for the season. Have no fear the brief intermission before Fall baseball starts will be full of conditioning and try-outs so there will still be plenty of baseball but the official Spring season is done. The boys had a good season, they had a lot of fun as 11 year old boys have no problem doing. They started out strong, then a little downward slide a little more than half way through the season (as a team) that continued until almost the very end.  There are a few players changing so hopefully we will be able to start strong and stay strong for Fall. Matthew did great individually. Most of the season he was leading in the stats, if not he was 2nd or 3rd at the most. He worked hard, I am proud of him. He loves it and you can tell. I love watching him play. I like watching him and Ryan doing it together too. It is a good relationship building experience. He is going to do football and baseball in the Fall. He did a football camp yesterday to start working on some skills. I could live without him playing football but he was pretty insistent on trying it so Ryan found him a team. Matthew promised me he would be fast enough to not get hurt. 🙂 I hope that is true. For the end of the year party and a send off for Joaquin who will be moving to the Philippines, we had a pizza party and then went to the drive-in and watched Ant Man and Wasp.

One of the moms on the teams takes pictures for us and then lets us have whatever ones we want so 99% of these pictures are from her. These are some of my favorite baseball pictures from this year.

 

So…faith.

When I was in high school I remember sitting on the grass outside for our Sunday school lesson. We were reading in the scriptures about the different gifts that God gives us. I was paying attention enough to follow along with the person reading, and when they said the gift of faith. I had the clear thought ‘You have the gift of faith’ at the time I took that to mean that I just believe, and to be honest I thought that was kind of lame. Lame because I thought it meant I was just a follower and didn’t have to think for myself.

Over the years I have thought more and learned a few more things that changed and expanded my original thoughts. (Imagine that kids, I started out with a little information and had to work to learn more, and I still have more to learn.)

First. I didn’t understand it. As with almost anything when you begin the process of learning, your knowledge is limited. My initial response to the thought of having the gift of faith as ‘kind of lame’ and the idea that if you had faith it meant that you ‘just believed’ no questions needed was incorrect and immature. This never sat well with me anyway because I don’t like the ‘just do it’ approach. I want to be a critical thinker, I teach my kids to be critical thinkers- don’t just be a sheep being lead around. In today’s world especially there are many paths that look enticing and okay but are the exact opposite. If the wrong influence gets the reigns in my life I want to recognize that and course correct(and my kids). I don’t know if we ever have a perfect knowledge of something in this life but we can continue to learn and better understand things.

God is the correct leader of the reigns in my life and I want Him to be so that my life stays on the right path. I know and believe that so I need to act on that and prove my belief by getting out of my own way and following Him. By choosing to follow Him, or having the gift of faith to confirm that knowledge that I should follow Him to me before I fully understand it does not make it any less my decision. To clarify, I have never thought following God made me weak.  I am a strong willed person and even the idea of being ‘lead’ by anyone immediately rubs me the wrong way and raises the hairs on my neck. But that applies to people, not God. It was my misunderstanding of the gift of faith meaning that I was just a blind follower that chaffed me. God wants us to have a choice (hence the whole war in Heaven) Having faith helps my brain connect and learn what my spirit already knows easier while I am here and don’t remember everything I new before. Maybe part of the gift of faith is the ability to recognize and accept truth  easier.

I don’t think God minds critical thinkers. He has it all figured out and His reasons and logic are perfect and I am not so me wondering or questioning how it all works together isn’t not having faith. All truth comes from God so if I am honest and diligent in following Him, eventually I will get to His answer anyway. Sometimes that path is more direct (always the best option) sometimes it is a little more circumferential, and if we are really bullheaded on some things it can be a lot of backtracking for ourselves by the time we get there. This applies to any truth not just spiritual truths.

Second. I wasn’t appreciating my gift. I see this happen with people all the time, but especially my kids. I need to see it in myself too. When you are just given something and don’t have to earn it or put much effort into getting it you are less grateful and appreciative of it. I don’t think Heavenly Father just gives us things, I think the gifts we have been blessed with were developed and earned before we came here. We don’t remember any of that though so when we realize a gift we have here, that we didn’t really ‘do anything’ to get we have to work harder at being appreciative of that gift and realizing the blessings it brings to our life.

Having faith doesn’t mean you accept everything no questions asked. I think it means that when you hear truth your spirit recognizes it and remembers it. Sometimes long before my brain catches up.  Then as I study and ponder and learn those truths that I knew before that I am relearning they are brought easier to my mind. Some things I learn are immediately recognized and remembered as truth, others come as I am ready to accept them and study enough. I have had similar  experiences like this and probably even more that I don’t even realize. Maybe this is the same process for everyone and I don’t have the gift of faith.  Whatever the out come on whatever gifts I actually do or do not have I have recognized a way that I learn and feel the Holy Ghost confirm truths to me. And regardless of whether or not I have the actual Gift of Faith, I have faith. I have faith in my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I know I am a child of God and I know He loves me.

So that is a brief synopsis of my learning more about faith. Maybe in 20 years I will rewrite this and see what new I have learned.

Fourth of July!

The Fourth of July is one of my favorite holidays. I love it because it is fun and exciting and has an important meaning and it hasn’t been overly commercialized. It is just a great hang out with your family and enjoy the freedoms we have been blessed with day.

Roger officially retired the Friday before the 4th so Ryan and Ross decided to have a party for him Monday night. They invited neighbors, friends, co-workers and some people from church. They came up with a yummy menu and cleaned and decorated and had a pretty nice party. The grand kids all went to Urban Air for the party to play and have some fun so grandpa could visit easier. It was a success! Ryan and Ross did a good job!

I don’t know how many years in a row we have gone up to Lincoln for the Fourth of July but it has been a lot, and it has been awesome. Lincoln knows how to celebrate Independence Day. The first year or two we would go to the city show but then we decided there really isn’t any reason to do that. So many people do fireworks that we can sit in the driveway and watch huge basically professional firework shows 360 degrees around us while we light our own off with the kids and other neighbors down the street. It is awesome. The fireworks start at dusk and go for hours without pause on the 3rd and 4th.

Usually it is just us and the other Terry’s but the Lee’s came this year too. Things have always gone without a hitch before but this year had a few hiccups. It all worked out in the end and we all had a good time. We have always had great weather but a storm came up this year. We were having a great time lighting fireworks and noticed it was getting a little windy then all the sudden we are yelling at each other to hear over the wind and the fireworks are blowing sideways. We were still able to light off most of our fireworks. Once the rain started it was cut a little short. Fireworks and rain do not mix. We lost a few good ones that became duds trying to light them when it was just sprinkling a little. Allison had one of her temper tantrums that put a damper on the fun. Many a good times have been dampened for this reason. I hope someday it will not be an issue anymore. This year might have been our last year up there. Roger and Rhonda are talking about maybe moving down here before next year. So we will have to find other plans for fireworks next year but it will still be fun. We can light fire works off in Gardner near by but Johnson County is a little bit if a party pooper. They put up signs that say “Happy Fourth, fireworks are illegal”

The Phases of Summer

I have noticed another trend that we tend to do in our family. Or maybe phases is a better description. Each summer we cycle through the same phases. The first few phases usually occur in the same order but then depending on our schedule and how things are going the phases might vary in order of occurrence, or length of time. Eventually we pass through all of the different phases, some of them multiple times by the end of summer.

The Grandeur Phase: This phase is kind of a pre-summer phase. It is the excitement and anticipation of summer coming and the expectations of how wonderful it is going to be. It starts when Spring is finally in full swing and the weather is a perfect 70-80 degrees and the door is finally closed on winter. It peaks in May when things start to wrap up with school and the final tests, projects, performances, musicals, talent shows, field trips, field day and all the other end of the year stuff happens. My ideal expectations for summer are usually how productive and fun it will be with positive character building experiences and how well my kids will get along and be grateful and have a wonderful summer of enjoying each others company and doing things together. Of course we plan fun things and do fun activities together but I have never felt it is my job to entertain my kids. A little soap box of mine is over entertaining kids. The purpose of life is not to be entertained constantly by me or anything else. It is great to do entertaining things sometimes but it should not be the bulk of your time. I want them to learn to challenge themselves and work on developing their talents and develop habits and traits that will help them be successful for the rest of their lives. I want them to learn to be proactive and independent at these things too. We work on these things year round but summer is a great time to refocus and emphasize things with fewer distractions or other time commitments.  The result of this summer Grandeur Phase was our theme- Work Hard then Play Hard, and the discovery of the electronic ticket system.

The Freedom Phase: This is usually the first true phase of summer and is pretty self explanatory. No more school. No more homework. No more waking up every morning to get ready for school. No projects, emails, papers to sign, needed supplies to send in, deadlines, tracking or reading, practice minutes, studying etc. And this year in particular, no more obnoxious letters from the equally obnoxious principal about how to ‘properly walk home’ (only six more years to put up with her :-/ fingers crossed for early retirement). It is a wonderful feeling of being done with the now mundane routine of all things school related. It is a great few days of sleeping in, watching way to much TV and eating mostly cold cereal and Popsicles. Obviously this is one of the kids favorite phases and they would stay in it indefinitely if I didn’t move them along. I also realize it is a little bit contradictory to some of what I said in the Grandeur Phase, but this is a short lived kick off your shoes and relax phase to celebrate the end of working hard at another school year and gearing up for the next phase, which is reality. We do have occasional revisits to the Freedom Phase throughout summer though. I love sleeping in and not cooking as much as the next person.

The Reality Phase: As much as the kids love the Freedom Phase, the responsible, self motivated, contributing to society adult who wants to be a good mother in me takes over eventually and I have to call an end to it. This is when I explain whatever routine we will be adopting for summer and the plan to work on our family relationships, personal characteristics, expectations and anything else I thought of during the Grandeur Phase to make it ‘the best summer ever’. This phase is usually a little reminiscent of the Grandeur Phase. At least for me. I am usually all gun-ho about implementing and getting going with the plan. The kids can be a little less enthusiastic, but I usually have a range of mild to moderate support from 2 out of 3 of them. This phase also brings me back to reality of maybe lowering my original expectations of summer. This phase can have arguing, fighting, nagging, whining, repeating directions, and more repeating directions. It can be exhausting.

The Cruising Phase: This is when the wheels are turning, the gears are greased and everything is going great. We have a nice balance of work and play, fun and responsibility. This is a phase that on occasion the stars align and we are all in at the same time, but unfortunately this is one of the hardest phases to do that. I swear my kids draw straws each morning to see who’s turn it is to be the stinker for the day. Rarely do they decide to all be happy and pleasant at the same time but when it happens it is glorious. This phase has little arguing, lots of smiles, and happiness and contentment from parents and kids. It is still great when some of us are in this phase but not as wonderful as when the whole family is cruising together.

Laxadazical: This Phase is one of the most maddening ones for me, and the kicker is it is usually my fault most of the time that we move into it. This phase is when things start to relax to much and the meltdown of our regular structure goes to far. I let up on the reigns because they have been doing great and I give them a little leeway but don’t crack the whip soon enough if they take a mile instead of an inch. I guess I get a little lazy myself. There can be any number of causes but the classic lead ups to this phase are

  • A night or two of late bedtimes that turns into”I can stay up late everynight”
  • Five extra minutes of TV/video games that turns into”I can watch/play as long as I want”
  • You can do your chores later turns into- doing a bad job or not doing it at all.

A frusteration with this phase is that I want to give my kids more rope to start being more responsible and proactive with their choices but the amount of rope changes for every incident and it easily gets out of hand. Also, I don’t know why but usually I don’t even realize we are in this phase until explode after I am sick and tired of nagging, arguing and yelling at them to listen, to get their stuff  done, or redone because they did a crappy job the first time. I try to be on the look out for the obvious signs of this phase but it sneaks in a lot.

The Stir Crazy Phase: I thought this was just a phase I had but I think all of us get it a little bit. I love Kansas and we plan for it to be our forever home but I have to leave at least once, preferably 2-3 times in the summer. We have to pack a suitcase and drive or fly somewhere and be gone for a few days. One year we had a bigger vacation planned and it was in September in Florida with my family. We didn’t really go anywhere in the summer because we had that planned. I about went bananas. We need something to break up the regular routine on occasion throughout the summer. We usually go up to Lincoln for the 4th of July. Sometimes a trip to Utah/Idaho for a reunion, or to see my sisters or my parents. I love picking a new place none of us have been before and seeing and doing new things. We are all a little grumpy and restless if we get into the Stir Crazy Phase.

The Life Is Awesome Phase: This is going on vacation. This phase might sound a little cheesy but it is how I usually feel on vacation. If not, I am not really on vacation, or on a good vacation I guess. It is not the same as the Freedom Phase. It is more full filling and satisfying. There are still responsibilities with vacations-planning, packing, traveling, budgeting… It is just awesome to step away from regular life and enjoy doing something all together totally out of the norm. Ryan being with us is awesome, I am home with the kids most of the time so I am old news but it is a treat to have both parents 24-7. I love having the plan be nothing but enjoy time together, do fun things, experience new things, make memories, just be together. Sometimes we do bigger vacations but it doesn’t have to be. One of my favorite parts of our vacations is the driving and being all stuck in the car together. My family rolls their eyes when I get excited about a 19+ hour car ride but I do like it.  Whether they admit it or not I know they like singing ‘500 Miles’ at the top of their lungs just as much as I do.Vacations are just awesome because we get to focus on being together as a family. We get to put a pin in all other responsibilities that take time away from being a family and enjoy one of the greatest blessings we have been given when we came to earth.

The Boredom Phase: This comes and goes and is self explanatory as well. The boredom can be caused for many reasons; summer has lost its magicalness, it is ‘too hot’, friends are gone, already done that, don’t want to do that, loss of privileges, choosing to be bored, expecting to be entertained, laziness, etc. Expecting to be entertained is my cue for this phase and it might sound crazy but a lot of times the cure for my kids boredom is to take away all their electronics for awhile. This initially causes expressions of anger, panic, frustration and irritability but eventually they settle down and after a little brainstorming they figure out they do have some creativity and enjoy each others company. Before you know it they are playing tag, building forts, baking treats, making up games, riding bikes together, doing crafts, playing board games, reading books and all kinds of things. Since we have implemented no electronics on Sunday they are much better at not getting into this phase as often and getting out of it quicker when they do. The whining and complaining is much shorter lived.

The Panic Phase: It is usually about the end of July when there is a sudden realization that school is starting in just a few weeks and all the commotion that brings with it. The to-do list; register for school, school clothes, school supplies, back to school night. The worry list; have we crammed everything into summer we need/want to, who is my teacher, what friends are in my class, what do I wear the first day, what do I wear the second day, take my lunch or school lunch, who will remember me, how should I do my hair, who will I sit by (this list got way longer when Alli started school). I also have a little panic each year about sending my kids back to school. I know they are good kids and I enjoy being with them. Most of their experiences will help them learn and grow and they will be happy and successful. I know they have to learn to handle things on their own and they can (and I can still help them) but I worry and it makes me want to follow my kids around with a rubber chicken or something to smack the little turd kids that need a wake up call on the back of the head when they are mean and cruel or a bad influence. I think I do pretty good at hiding my worry from the kids so I don’t project my stress to them or give them things to worry about that they hadn’t thought of. For the most part my panic passes and is unfounded. I am pretty confident in Matthew’s confidence and moral compass and self worth. I worry for Allison a lot. She can have a hard candy coating but it is protecting a delicate fragile sweet little girl inside. I wish I could give her a confidence and self worth mega vitamin everyday. She cares way to much about what other people think. Emilee seems to be in between Matthew and Allison right now, hopefully it will grow in the positive direction with school.

The Hallelujah Phase:  This is the kids are starting school again and I can get on top of our lives a little more again phase. This phase starts at different times each year and can vary in…intensity.  Three years ago this started as soon as August hit and I was about to burst by the time school started. I couldn’t get them to school fast enough. Last year it was the last day or to before school and hardly noticeable. This year is on track to be in the middle of that somewhere but we have all of July to get through. Just like the end of the school year when the routine is a getting mundane and you just need a change, the same happens with summer. It just starts to get a little old. The Boredom Phase becomes more and more common. Everyone is less patient, fights and argues more. It is just time for a change and revamp of schedules and getting back into growing in different ways. My kids help and do a lot of things around the house but when we are all home a lot it is harder to keep up on things and some projects, jobs, and other things get set aside or slip through the cracks. When this phase comes I want to get back on top of everything and feel more organized and prepared. How well my kids are getting along is a huge factor in when this phase starts.

 

 

Worlds of Fun!

The day after the girls and I got back from Florida, the kids and I were going to go with Lauren and her kids to Nauvoo IL for a two day trip. That night we were both talking on the phone and it just wasn’t working out that great for either of our schedules so we decided to bag it and reschedule for another time and do something closer to home. We decided to try the water and theme park in KC. Worlds of Fun and Oceans of Fun.

We got there when it opened that morning and did the theme park first. It’s the first big theme park any of our kids have gone too. It was pretty fun. We had varying degrees of adventurousness but everyone tried something. Jovee was willing but to short for some rides. In another year or two she will probably be the most adventurous of all of them. All of my kids were for whatever rides they could go on. We started with some smaller rides more like carnival rides, then we got to a real roller coaster called the Cork Screw. It goes through some loops and then stops and comes back the way it came but backwards. Emilee went on it with Aunt Lauren. When the ride was over she had a look of ‘oh my gosh, what just happened to me’ on her face, then she looked and me and got the biggest grin and gave me a thumbs up. She thought it was pretty awesome. We went on a water ride and then my three wanted to go on the biggest ride in the park called the Mamba. Emilee was tall enough and really wanted to, I was a little hesitant to let her but she was insistent that she would be fine and had loved the other ones. So she did it. She had the same look on her face as the first one when she got back but when I asked her how it went she started crying and had a little break down. It was a little to intense for her. Mom fail. I think she would have been better if I had gone with her but I was watching Leah and Ethan and I didn’t want to go on it myself either. I am not a big roller coaster fan. She said she didn’t want to go on anymore rides but we found a nice easy spiny, floaty feeling one and she went on it with me. She kept saying, ‘This is so nice, I like this, this is fun.’ I think it started out trying to convince herself but by the end of the ride she meant it.

It was pretty stinking hot and we were all melting and about at our wits end from the heat so after a few hours we went to the car and ate our lunch then headed over to Oceans of Fun to cool off and get in the water. It is a pretty nice water park. We let the older boys and girls go off and try different slides and areas and Lauren and I stayed with the Littles. We did slides, the wave pool, obstacles, play areas, it was a nice afternoon. We stayed pretty much until it closed. The kids loved it. It was a successful fun new summer adventure! They all slept like a rock that night. Emilee usually sleeps in but she reached a new record of 11 am the next morning. Matthew and Alli weren’t up before nine either.

Good movie alert!!

I am a movie watcher. I love watching a good movie either at home or
in the theater. Lately there have been some good movies I have seen
but they are more action movies. It has been awhile since I have seen
a really good ‘feel good’ movie. I watched one this week that brought
a few tears but left me feeling happy and good after I finished it. It
is called I Can Only Imagine. It is about the story behind the song by
the same title. I have always loved that song. I may be known to sing along at the top of my lungs when I hear it. It is a favorite on my play list and I love it even more now knowing the story behind it.

 

I remember…

There was a youth fireside in Independence tonight with John Bytheway as the speaker. Matthew is a few months shy of being 12 but we had him go anyways. He said it was really good and he was glad he went. As I was driving home after I dropped him off I was thinking about the fact that I just dropped my oldest child off at a YM activity. Which got me thinking about other moments in his life. Time really does fly by. He is such an amazing kid. I am so glad that I get to be his mom. He has a good head on his shoulders and a kind heart in his chest.

I remember the day we brought him home from the hospital. I kept thinking, “I can’t believe they are just letting me take him home, I’m a mom now.” It felt so weird to be driving with a baby in the back seat. Ryan has never driven so slow and I probably looked back and checked him a million times. He was my little buddy from day one. I loved singing him to sleep, snuggling him, and just looking at him. He never really cared for a pacifier but he has a blue blanket that became ‘the blanket’ the second he touched it. He still has it today and is showing no signs of being done with it. He also loved his nightly bottle before getting ready for bed. It was a total relaxing enjoyable experience for him.

He was a happy slightly pudgy little toddler. He has had a kind little tender heart from day one. He is shy but makes friends easily and is friends with everybody. He is good at including others and making them feel welcome and is kind to everyone. I remember taking him to nursery. This wasn’t to hard for me at the time because I was the Primary President so I was in there a lot and got to see him, it wasn’t to much of a ‘my baby boy is growing up way to fast moment’. Sunbeams was much harder. I remember my little boy walking right in to class wearing his little man suit and hoping up on his chair ready to go.  I remember his first primary program. He stood tall and sang every word of the songs loudly, but when he went up to say his part he took one look at the audience and said, “Nope!” and turned right around and went back to his seat.

I remember his first little t-ball lessons when he was four years old where he chased the ball wherever it went and then a few years later crushing a home run in coach pitch. Then doing lots of other sports to pass the time until he can get back into baseball to joining the academy so he can be involved in baseball almost year round. I remember his first day of preschool. He was never a huge fan. He would have rather stayed home and been with his sister. He loved her
from day one. If he couldn’t be by her, he left his dinosaurs around her to watch her until he returned. His shyness was a big struggle for him in preschool. We practiced how to introduce yourself and make friends a lot.

I remember the first day of kindergarten, and each grade after. I thought I would be the mom doing cartwheels to send the kids to school. Instead I was the mom having a hard time leaving the class room and peaking back in several times to make sure he was ok before going home to sit around and wonder what I was going to do without him. Matthew has always been easy company and fun to have around. There is more than one mom of his friends that have told me they like having Matthew over and he is a really good friend to their son and I
can send him over anytime. Last year when we took the kids to school on the first day, I remember a little twinge in my chest realizing that it would be the last time I got to walk him to class on the first day. Next year is middle school and you get to just get dropped off. I remember another twinge in my heart when I told him that and he said I could still walk him to class if I wanted but no kiss goodbye, a hug would probably be fine though.

I remember his baptism. There was standing room only in the font room because so many friends and family came to support and see him get baptized. I remember feeling so blessed to have such a sweet, caring, loving, special boy. The gospel rests naturally with him. You can feel that he understood and knew it well before he came to earth. I remember the first time my shy little boy mustered up the courage to go up and bear his testimony. I was so proud of him and wish he would do it every month.

I remember thousands of small special little memories that I hope I will never forget. I love watching Matthew grow and develop into an even more amazing person. He is going to accomplish some great things. I wish it would just slow down. I love how he almost always has a little slight grin on his face and he is quick to turn it into a full grin when he sees someone. I love that he still snuggles me while he reads a book. I love that he randomly comes up to me and wants a hug. Sometimes it drives me crazy but I still love when he  shows his affection with poking, and nudging, and teasing. I love when he laughs and plays with his sisters, and gives them a piggy back ride, or teaches them how to throw a ball, or plays tag, or hide and seek with them. I love his sense of humor and how he cracks himself up. I love that he writes in his journal then leaves it on my pillow for me to read. I love when he tells me about his day and it takes almost as
long as the day took because he includes every single detail. I love how he decides he wants to learn something and figures it out and works at it. I love that he tries to set a good example and reflects on how to improve.  I love his company, I love him. I am a blessed momma. He is growing up so fast. Today I drop him off at a fireside, before I know it he will be driving, dating, graduating, and going on a mission. I am glad I get a front row seat at watching him grow.