Usually when the sign up for large church parties/meals, school events, or whatever comes around I sign up for the ‘can buy ready made’ options. Mostly because I would rather do almost anything besides cook so I bring the stuff that requires shopping instead of cooking, but I have had a few experiences that reinforce my desire to avoid cooking and leave it to the real chefs too.
Ward Cake Auction
The Young Women had a spaghetti fundraiser dinner with a silent cake auction. I must have been in a baking mood when the signup came around because it is very unlike me but I thought “That will be fun! I can bring a pretty cake!” I have made some pretty cute birthday cakes so I envisioned a few fancy ideas and even thought about trying my hand at fondant. When it actually came time to make the cake my desire had faded a bit so instead of trying my hand at fondant, I made a lemon poppy seed cake with a glaze topping, I put it in a decorative bunt cake pan for the fancy part. When we arrived with our cake we were pointed to where to put it. A little back ground on our ward. They are great people, very kind, welcoming, and giving. Most of them are also very affluent and catering and amazing decorations are not uncommon at ward events because that’s just how it’s done by whoever decides to ‘host’ the party. So I shouldn’t have been surprised that they had several long tables decorated to the nines with spots for you to place your cake. It looked like a picture shoot for some up scale wedding food magazine. The cakes themselves were incredible too, I seriously doubt most of them were made by the person that brought them. I mean what are the chances that half our ward happens to be professional cake decorators. Shoot, I’ve seen ‘professional’ cakes that didn’t look half as good as some of these. Anyway, I took my little bunt cake on its fancy clear plastic plate and found a nice spot for it between a triple tier chocolate cake with giant shaved curled chocolate cascading down it, and a fondant cake that looked like it came straight out of a Dr. Seuss book. After the dinner they did the dessert auction by having everyone write their price down and put it in an envelope then they called you from highest to lowest bid to come up and pick your cake. When it was our turn my kids picked the shaved chocolate triple layer cake (which looked amazing but tasted like a box cake). When it was all done the cakes were all picked…except my little lemon bunt cake. How sad! Ryan and I were having a good laugh about it. It was the ugly duckling of the cakes. We finished up and as we were leaving Allison happened to glance over and saw our cake still sitting there. She was dumbfounded (only momentarily) then she started ranting about how rude it was that no one wanted our cake. I kept moving her towards the door and telling her it was ok. We almost made it out the door before she wiggled away and walked over to my cake picked it up and started walking out the door. She stopped at the table with everyone collecting the cake money on her way, she put her little hand on her hip and told them that, “My mom made this cake and no one picked it and I am not leaving it here by itself so I am taking it home, and just because it doesn’t have chocolate on it doesn’t mean it isn’t a good cake.” Then she continued stomping out to the car with the cake. I think she genuinely thought the cake felt sad. I smiled and waved to the cake people as I followed her out. I wasn’t upset about no one picking it but I admired Allison for sticking up for what she thought was a gross injustice.
Ward Chili Cook Off.
Part 1. A few years back Ryan signed me up without my knowledge to bring chili. He signed up with my name but his email and then kept meaning to tell me but never did. Apparently he was also planning on making it himself when he signed me up but forgot to do that too until he was on his way home from work and he remembered to call and tell me we were supposed to bring chili to the Chili cook off that started in 30 minutes. So I threw a few cans of chili into a pan on the stove (and got the kids in their costumes make-up and treat bags and finished decorating our trunk) and heated it up then put it in the crock pot to keep warm. Ryan was mortified when I told him how I ‘made chili’ in half an hour. I told him to set it up by the food, it didn’t have to be in the competition and stop signing me up for things. He did all that but also had to throw me under the bus and tell everyone about it. That’s fine, my pride is not tied to my cooking, and there were at least two other chilis that looked and tasted very similar to the one I brought.
Part 2. A few years later…We have a chili recipe that we got from Ryan’s mom and he had always been the one to make it when we decided to have chili. I made it one time and was very happy at how easy and simple a recipe it is. So the next time the ward chili cook off came around I decided I would sign myself up and make some. Which I did. I made it, brought it and I entered it into the contest-Chili #14. Ryan decided to start with my chili then go back and try a different one. He took the first bite and started gagging and spit it out. I thought he was trying to be a turd, so I tried it and did the same thing. I do not know what happened. We couldn’t decide if the vinegar was bad (does vinegar go bad?!) or if I happened to get a can of bad beans, or someone thought it looked to good and really wanted to win so they dropped the equivalent taste of a stink bomb in my chili. Whatever happened it was not good. Pretty much everyone had gone through the food line by that point but I went up to get my crock pot so no one would take anymore. All the food was pretty much gone, except for my chili. I guess word spread fast to not eat chili #14.
Part 3. The following year… I decided to redeem myself and make a chili again for the cook off. This time I tasted it before we went and it was delicious. I entered it into the contest and tasted it again. It still tasted delicious. Everyone’s chili was yummy and we had a great time. When they announced the winner, my chili got first place. Woohoo! I decided to quit while I was ahead and go back to taking corn bread or toppings from then on.
Ward Christmas Breakfast
For a Christmas breakfast one year they had a specific breakfast casserole recipe that they wanted everyone to make to bring to the ward breakfast. I signed up to bring fruit and some other things but a few days before they requested more people bring casseroles because they were worried there wouldn’t be enough for everyone. I got the recipe and made it. I don’t remember exactly but it was something like sliced bread with cheese and bacon sprinkled on top then had milk poured over it and baked. It didn’t sound, look or taste good to me but I followed the recipe and made it exactly how it said. I took it and set it next to all the other casseroles. It actually looked like most of the others too which increased my confidence more that I made it correctly. It looked like several people had ‘adjusted’ the recipe to make it better too, which is a great idea but as you can tell from my previous examples not really my wheel house to adjust recipes. My kids wouldn’t come within 10 feet of it, and they weren’t the only ones. I felt like this one was more the recipes fault then mine though.
Potluck with Friends.
Once a month during the school year a bunch of women meet for lunch and have a pot luck together. We take turns hosting it. Anyone is welcome, there are people from church, the gym, neighbors, friends of friends. Anyone can come and everyone brings something and we eat and visit for a few hours. I was hosting it one time and made a cheesy potato soup that I have made probably 50 times. Everyone came and ate, I didn’t eat my soup because I was trying everything else. We had the rest of the soup for dinner that night and it was so gross. I’m guessing I left out most of the cheese and salt because it basically tasted like flour and milk sauce with chunks of potatoes. Good grief. I told my friends that I expect them to let me know in the future if there is something obviously wrong with my soup instead of powering through it.
I have many many other cooking stories but I think I have gotten my point across. It is not my favorite thing or my best talent, and I need to remember to taste test better when I do make something.