I mentioned in a post back in October about a challenge that President Nelson gave in the Women’s Broadcast. He asked us to fast from social media for 10 days. Read the Book of Mormon by the end of the year. Then, as we were doing those things he asked us to listen to the promptings and thoughts that we had and ACT on them. I did the fast back in October and I just finished the Book of Mormon a few days ago.
**Fast from social media for 10 days.
I realized I checked my Facebook and then followed the rabbit hole of the next feed or video that came up more than I thought. I completely deleted it from my phone for a while. Sometimes I do need it for checking on events so I did put it back on my phone but I decided to turn off notifications on Facebook and now I rarely look at it. I don’t miss it either. One of the things I filled my time ‘extra time’ with was practicing my piano more.
The new update on my phone has a Screen Time monitor which is kind of handy too. It keeps track of how many times you pick up your phone, and how much time you spend on each app on your phone. It is interesting to think you spent 10 minutes doing a crossword puzzle and then check and realize it was actually 35 minutes. I have talked with my kids about how electronics can consume our day without us realizing how much time we are spending on it. Then we talked about how if we spent even 1/2 that time working on a talent or doing something for someone else how that would increase our abilities and help us be and feel more like Christ.
**Read the Book of Mormon by the end of the year. Listen and act on the promptings you receive while reading the Book of Mormon.
One of the things that came to my mind while I was reading is to start memorizing scriptures together as a family. I have a little white board on the fridge that I put quotes on a lot so we decided to put a scripture up every couple weeks that we want to work on and memorize. I have really liked doing this so far. Emilee doesn’t seem to quite get it yet, but Matthew and Allison have memorized several scriptures already. I have too. I have never been good at that, memorizing things is intimidating to me for some reason. Each time Allison has a scripture memorized she gets to celebrate by staying up an extra hour for bedtime, and Matthew celebrates with a QT Icee. I told them that they could pick scriptures they read in their personal study that stands out to them for the family to memorize. They liked that idea.
A lady in our ward mentioned in her talk one of the ways she helped her kids not fight (or solve a lot of fights) when they were growing up was to have a ‘Child of the Day’. Their family rotated through the kids and when it was your day you got to do things like say the prayers, sit in the front seat, pick your spot at the table. Whatever little things her kids tended to fight about so they all got a turn and new they would get a turn and didn’t need to fight about it. I haven’t started this yet but I think it is a great idea. I have it on the back burner in my brain to bring out someday if we are in an arguing rut or something.
We started reading scriptures in the morning before everyone leaves when we started school. Then we all eat breakfast together too. With that and my own reading from the Book of Mormon with the challenge from President Nelson I have noticed a slow but steady increase in all of our patience and tolerance with each other. The kids get a little less snippy with each other and forgive quicker. I have way more patience with them. They listen a little better and are more helpful. I’m loving it, everyone is loving it, even though they might not realize they do and the benefits that have come from it.
I started doing ’10’s’ with them again too. This is something from ‘Positive Parenting Solutions’ that we have done before. I had the thought to start it again. Each day the kids get to have a dedicated 10 minutes with mom (and dad tries to do it to when he can) where they have 100% of my attention focused on them and only them for 10 minutes and the two of us do whatever they want to do and I am in play mode, not mom mode. Some of the things they have come up with are play a game, singing, reading, watch a show, draw, color, practice cart wheels, go on a walk, watch YouTube together, play ‘Twenty Questions’ or ‘Would You Rather’, whatever they come up with. They love it, this isn’t the only time I spend with them but it is their special 10 minutes.
Another thing that has come to Ryan and my mind recently is talking with our kids about pornography. Ryan is in the Young Men’s and we have gone to firesides and broadcasts in the past, and talked with several bishops over the years. One of the consistently repeated topics we hear and talk about in regards to pornography is the importance of open communication. It isn’t a matter of IF your kids will see pornography, it is WHEN will they see it, and what will they do when they see it. It is a really delicate line of teaching our kids that it is not okay to do and helping them understand how and why they feel the way they do when they see it (shame, curiosity, excitment) and then interpreting those feelings correctly and learning why they have those feelings and when they are appropriate and not appropriate. Ryan talked with Matthew about this today. Satan is evil but not stupid. We know looking at pornography is bad, so when we see it one of the emotions we might feel is shame. The purpose of shame is to let us know we are doing something we should stop, one of the tools to use to guide us through lifes decisions and situations, just like joy lets us know we are doing good, heat warns of being burned, fear can be a warning, and all the other emotions and senses we have. Satan (especially with LDS people that can tend to have more ‘guilt issues’) uses that shame feeling to make people feel that instead of the act of what they are doing is wrong, the person them self is wrong and bad, which leads to more guilt and shame and can make us want to hide instead of talk with someone like a parent, or leader about what happened and how it made us feel. Ryan and I spend a lot of time, thinking, talking and praying about this topic together and talk about it often with our kids so they know what it is and that they can come to us knowing before hand that we won’t be angry at them, we will help them figure it out and work with them.
I am glad that I did President Nelson’s challenge. It has been a long time since I have read the Book of Mormon that fast. I like doing it that way sometimes because I can connect the stories and people together more then when I read it slower. It was a nice experience. I am looking forward to getting started with the new Come Follow Me curriculum when the new year starts.