Many years ago my two sisters came upon some stink bombs that they were very excited to put to good use. I was not living at home anymore but they filled me in later. I can’t remember what they did with all of them but I know one ended up in the 18 hole at a mini putt putt golf course and could be smelled from the parking lot, where they observed from afar and laughed their heads off. Another one ended up in my brothers room and I have been told many times since that was probably the maddest they had ever seen him. They still laughed their heads off, just at a safe distance.
Fast forward a decade or so and…
Allison wanted to do a little shopping with some of her money that she had recently acquired. It usually starts burning a hole in her pocket the second she gets it so she wanted to go to 5 Below and see what treasures she could find (5 Below is a step or two above a dollar store, but everything is $5 or less) She meandered around and eventually found the prank aisle and thought she had enough money to get a whoopee cushion, fake little pieces of poop, and a small aerosol can of ‘fart smell’. (Insert emoji slapping its forehead) Luckily, she did not have enough to get all of those things, but despite my efforts to find something not in the poop category to spend her money on she put back the whoopee cushion and took the other two up to the front to pay.
When she checked out she actually only had enough money for one. I again told her we could go find something else but she agonized for what I am sure the people behind us in line felt like was forever over her decision until finally deciding to just buy the stinky spray (insert emoji with fallen disappointed face) After making her purchase she then skipped out to the car pleased as punch with herself.
On the way home she decided to test it. I should have seen this coming but didn’t think through needing possible rules for the stinky spray before we even got home. She sprayed it in the car and immediately started complaining that it didn’t even stink and she was going to email the company and tell them ‘their fart spray stinks because it doesn’t stink.’ Mean while, I am driving the van and was unfortunately sitting in a location in front of the direction she sprayed the stuff. It did stink! It was foul and disgusting and unlike a ‘real fart’ it didn’t dissipate after a few seconds (actually got stronger), or by rolling the windows down. It was disgusting and of course Allison thought it was hilarious. I immediately laid down some ‘stinky spray rules’ (never saw that coming before I became a mom) and told her no more spraying it in the car or other enclosed spaces.
Allison is the worlds best negotiator though and she baked up some story to spray a little in Matthew’s room as a joke on him because he pulls little pranks on her all the time. I could tell this was the entire grand plan behind getting the stuff in the first place so I told her she could do it one time. Matthew does pull lots of pranks on her.
Allison decided to sneak in his room when he went down for breakfast on Sunday morning before church. She sprayed some stench in his room them came down to eat. Matthew went upstairs to shower. Alli was bouncing with excitement waiting to hear his yell, or gagging sound or something. Nothing. He showered and got dressed then came out. I figured he tried the ‘just ignore it’ tactic to make Allison mad. I forgot about it and finished getting ready in my room. Allison was not ready to just move on though. She went in his room and sprayed some more. She made up some excuse to have Matthew come upstairs to his room, which he did…nothing. Didn’t react in anyway. He went back downstairs. Allison was not to be deterred though. She sprayed more, a lot more. So much more that it came out of Matthew’s room and down the hall and Ryan started to smell it from his closet. (Side note, Ryan was not happy I ‘let’ her buy the stink spray. He said it was a ‘bad choice’ and he ‘wished I wouldn’t have let her do that’ (insert emoji rolling eyes)) He came out to see what was going on and was ‘assaulted’ by the horrible smell now filling the hall and floating down the stairs. I don’t know what reaction she wanted from Matthew but she got one from Ryan. All previous stinky spray rules were erased and a new one was put in place.
NO stinky smell sprays are allowed to be used, stored, or even brought into the house or they will be thrown away and destroyed immediately with no compensation to the owner.
Apparently bad smells make Ryan pretty grumpy. That isn’t a big surprise, he is always telling the kids, ‘Don’t be the stinky kid.’ By this time everyone was getting annoyed and gagging at the smell, except for Matthew who was down stairs with his nose in a book oblivious to everything. While I was opening windows and getting some Febreeze I asked Matthew if his book was so good he couldn’t smell the stench overtaking the house. He said, “No, but my allergies are so bad that I can’t smell anything.” I told Allison why her prank didn’t work and she was pretty annoyed. HAHAHA!
So we finished getting ready for church and headed out the door. When we got to church Matthew came and sat between Ryan and I. I kept catching whiffs of the smell. I guess there was some that settled on his clothes when he was in his room and hadn’t had enough time to go away yet. Alli sprayed A LOT of it. I was making a game plan to get some smelly lotion or oils from someone to help cover the smell but by the time sacrament was over the luckily the smell was gone. By the time we got home the smell was gone from the house too. I did one more round of Febreeze in Matthew’s room so that he was safe from being the stinky kid after sleeping in his room all night. Allison’s remaining spray may or may not have been misplaced. All in all though I think she felt like it was a great purchase.